Chapter 41
“……”
“I’m just worried about you, Kassia.”
His voice was careful.
“I really don’t want to see you get hurt again. That’s all. If you want to learn painting, there are ways to learn it here too…”
“Mikael.”
He stopped speaking when I called his name. I said quietly,
“I’m fine. I’ve thought about it over and over again before deciding.”
“…But, Kassia.”
“You’re right, I could study painting here. But you also know that the best environment for learning anything properly is in the capital. Good teachers, good paintings—if I want to see and study them, I’ll have to go there eventually.”
Now that I had decided to truly dedicate myself to painting, my destination was already set.
The capital of the Fontrich Empire, Lemang, the center of culture.
If I was going to learn painting seriously, I would have to go there someday.
“You know me—I don’t do things halfway.”
Mikael just looked at me. I continued.
“I know, too. All the things you’re worried about.”
I was a cautious person—just as much as Mikael was concerned for me.
It wasn’t as if I hadn’t thought about what might happen once I went to the capital.
But even after considering everything, my desire to learn art was stronger.
It felt the same as when I had entered the duke’s mansion for Diana’s sake without hesitation.
Some choices in life demand everything, no matter what.
And this was one of them.
“Seven years ago, Mikael, you tried to stop me when I said I’d become the duchess instead of Diana.”
“……”
“But as you can see, seven years later, I’m doing just fine.”
I knew learning art in the capital wouldn’t be easy. Maybe I would become unhappy again.
But I also knew that, in the end, happiness would come. I believed that.
“So please, help me get to the capital safely, Mikael.”
“……”
Mikael looked at me for a long time before finally shaking his head slowly.
“You really can’t be stopped, can you?”
“…Then I can go without worrying?”
“I’ve always respected your choices, Kassia.”
He smiled faintly and nodded.
“Everything I do is for you. How could I stop you from doing what you love? The only reason I even try is because of my own selfishness. There’s a part of me that just… doesn’t want to let you go.”
“Thank you, Mikael.”
I looked at him warmly.
When I thought about it, there had never been anyone else who cried or worried for me at every major crossroad in my life.
He had been there when I became the duchess, and he was here now.
Thinking that, my gaze softened with warmth—just as it always had while I stayed here.
“And I have something to say too.”
“What is it?”
I looked at him gently. When our eyes met, I smiled, trying to express what I felt in that moment.
If I had found the courage to leave for the capital, perhaps I could find courage for something else, too.
“Once I’ve learned enough about painting, I plan to come back here. It’s peaceful here—it makes me feel at ease. And when that day comes…”
Then maybe—just maybe—
“I think I’ll be ready to take your feelings a little more seriously.”
I took a small box from my pocket. When I opened it, two simple rings were inside—plain, without decoration, looking almost like ordinary accessories.
“This is a gift—a promise.”
Mikael’s eyes trembled.
Silence filled the room.
Mikael’s trembling gaze shifted from me to the rings.
They weren’t fancy enough to be called couple rings, but a ring was still a ring.
“What is this…”
He couldn’t finish his sentence. He looked more shocked than I had expected.
A long silence passed.
The air between us grew still, heavy.
My heart pounded—thump, thump.
Was it because I was nervous about the gift I’d prepared with such determination?
I had never imagined he would reject it.
…But what if he did?
He just stared at me, motionless. I was about to avert my eyes when his large hand cupped my face.
Then, a soft touch fell on my lips.
“……!”
I opened my eyes wide in surprise. His face was right before mine. He brushed his lips against mine briefly and whispered,
“You really…”
Our eyes met. That look—
I knew I would never forget it.
“I love you, Kassia.”
“……”
“I love you.”
He confessed as if those were the only words he knew.
Then his lips met mine again—this time, deeper.
The kiss grew heavier, more consuming.
I closed my eyes, wrapped my arms around his neck.
Our breaths mingled, our hearts pounded wildly.
My whole body felt hot, alive.
In that moment, we both understood each other’s hearts.
Neither of us resisted.
There was no reason to.
That night was calm, even the silence felt peaceful.
Meeting my gaze, Mikael spoke in a trembling voice, as if he were finally saying something he’d held back for years.
His words filled the stillness.
“I used to think you hated me.”
“……”
“I actually wanted to be closer to you, but I forced myself to stay away. I didn’t want to bother you.”
I listened quietly.
“After you entered the duke’s mansion, I felt uneasy. The house was gloomy after Diana left. I went traveling—to run away, really. Along the way, I met many people. Through those experiences, I began to understand things I hadn’t before.”
“Like what?”
“That maybe… you had feelings for me too.”
Sometimes, time reveals truths that went unnoticed in the past.
“I realized it one day while eating alone.”
“……”
“Your eyes, your voice, how you spoke to me—all of it came flooding back, and suddenly I understood.”
Mikael continued,
“I never recognized what your signals meant back then.”
When you said you disliked me, I just stepped back.
When you pushed me away, I simply gave up.
“How much I’ve regretted that…”
He smiled faintly.
“That’s what those years were—years filled with regret. The day I saw you again at the villa, you asked how I was. The truth is, I was miserable. I couldn’t stand how foolish I’d been.”
If only he’d been a little more perceptive, she might not have left.
If only he’d had more courage, she might never have gone to the duke’s house.
“If we had realized our feelings earlier, maybe things would’ve been different. I know it’s pointless to imagine, but I can’t help it.”
“Mikael…”
While I was struggling as the duchess, Mikael had been fighting his own lonely battle.
I reached out, wrapped my arms around him, and gently stroked his head.
He buried his face against my chest and let out a deep sigh.
“Don’t blame yourself so much.”
“……”
I hesitated, thinking what to say, then spoke softly.
“Mikael… I don’t really believe in gods, but I do believe in fate.”
Like how I met Diana, or how I came to want to paint.
“Maybe people are connected that way too. Maybe it was fate for us to circle back and finally meet like this.”
He didn’t answer, just listened. I smiled faintly.
“You were right. I did like you when we were young.”
“……”
“But you felt so far away. The Allison family always shone so brightly.”
“You were close to Diana, but you found me difficult?”
He pouted slightly. I laughed—it was adorable.
“Yes. Somehow, you were harder to approach. It felt like even letting you see that I liked you would be a sin.”
I loved Diana, but she had only ever been a friend.
Seeing her never made my heart race or my face flush.
But Mikael was different.
His smile, his kindness—
Everything he did made my heart soar and fall again, over and over each day.
I hadn’t even known what love was back then. The feelings confused me and made me feel guilty.
“I think I had low self-esteem. I didn’t understand love, so I kept avoiding you. I was too afraid.”
“……”
“The truth is, Mikael, I lacked courage—just like you did.”
But that was all in the past.
Back then, neither of us knew ourselves, nor each other. We had no courage.
That time had passed. I had grown older, wearier—but wiser, too.
I smiled softly at him.
“When I come back—or no, starting now—I’ll try harder too.”
“…Thank you.”
Mikael smiled, as if that alone was enough for him.
And just like that, our last night together quietly came to an end.
