Chapter 9. I Want All of You
Razel waited for Kylo in the newly assigned room.
The place she had stayed in before was merely a guest room, and the new bedroom she had moved to was the mistress’s chamber.
It was surprisingly clean for this old castle that wasn’t properly maintained.
‘So, I’m really married now…’
And to Kylo, of all people.
It was a situation she couldn’t have imagined just a month ago.
Razel looked around the bedroom before perching on the corner of the wide bed.
The soft, plush sensation greeted her. The bedding was luxuriously fine, out of place in this antique room.
‘To wait for Kylo dressed like this…’
Razel lowered her gaze idly and caught sight of her legs, fully exposed through the thin, dress-like nightgown.
Her face flushed with embarrassment. If she looked in the mirror like this, she might want to bite her own tongue.
With her cheeks tinted rose, Razel raised a hand to comb through her hair. The golden locks, glossy from the scented oil, flowed smoothly down.
Then, suddenly, she stopped.
The scene of their small-scale wedding flashed in her mind.
It hadn’t lacked for anything, but Razel remembered one single flaw.
‘Mother and Father probably have no idea that I’ve married Kylo…’
Abandoned by them, Kylo was now her only family. It was as she lowered her hand with a bitter feeling.
A knock came from somewhere.
Assuming it was Kylo at the door, Razel lifted her head—and froze.
Her gaze met blue eyes that seemed to have been waiting expectantly.
He was already inside the room, leaning against the doorframe, watching her. Dressed lightly, just like her.
Startled, Razel widened her eyes.
“Wh-when did you get here?”
“When you were deep in thought.”
He had been standing there with arms crossed, as if testing how long it would take her to notice him.
“I wonder who you were thinking about so intently that you didn’t even notice your husband arrive.”
“Ah, that was…”
“We’re newlyweds now.”
The words “husband” and “newlyweds” from his lips sent a brief tickle through Razel.
But as a chilling smile spread over his previously cold expression, she quickly sensed the eeriness.
Razel, still perched on the bed, instinctively shuffled backward.
Seeing that, Kylo let out a scoff. Then he straightened from the door and approached.
“There’s something I’ve wanted to say for a while, about the four years we were apart…”
Kylo’s words trailed off as he stopped in front of her.
The “four years” he mentioned was the time from when Razel had abandoned him to the battlefield until their reunion.
Bending down to bring his face close to hers, he furrowed his brows.
“It seems my princess has had a change of soul.”
Despite the angry tone, he gently tucked Razel’s hair behind her ear with a tender touch. Her breath caught in her throat at his action.
She tried not to let her guard down, but somehow, a crack had formed.
In the blink of an eye, Razel was pushed back onto the bed, trapped beneath his arms. As the distance closed, the fresh scent of soap emanated from their bodies.
Flustered by the sudden turn, Razel panicked.
His gaze, so close, captured her face.
Her elegant forehead, her coy yet subdued violet eyes, her rose-tinted cheeks.
And her red lips, which seemed like they could be bitten countless times without quenching the thirst.
Under his sharp, lingering scrutiny of her face, Razel felt a shiver.
“Kylo, wait…”
Razel wasn’t mentally prepared yet. Her heart pounded wildly.
She had kissed him multiple times in the past, but anything beyond that was a first.
Yet her hands, trying to push him away, were swiftly caught by Kylo and pinned to the bed.
As she gasped, swallowing her breath, he let out a twisted laugh.
Drawing near as if about to kiss her, he uttered a cold voice.
“Are you scared of me?”
His glaring eyes were deep and piercing. Confronted with the inexplicable emotions within, Razel was momentarily unable to think.
“Why… Afraid I’ll kill you or something?”
“…”
“I think I told you this a week ago—why haven’t you caught on yet?”
He slowly released her wrists, which he had been pressing to the bed.
Even freed from restraint, Razel couldn’t move.
The warmth that had trailed down her arm reached the strap of her nightgown on her shoulder.
If he went further, Razel was ready to squeeze her eyes shut. But Kylo’s actions stopped there.
“You owe me more than just an apology. Why can’t you imagine that it would be you?”
“What…”
Kylo lifted a strand of her hair that was cascading around her shoulder.
Then, gripping it as if to crush it, he spoke heavily.
“I want you. From a single strand of hair to your toes. I want all of you.”
“…”
“So until you give me everything you have, you won’t die peacefully.”
Her wavering gaze landed on his hand clutching her hair. A moment passed, and her violet eyes returned to meet his.
Razel’s parted lips were roughly sealed. Gasping from his sudden advance, she struggled for breath.
Kylo willingly shared his breath with her. All the while, the kiss continued without pause, devouring her.
Why, though? Even without words, it felt like she could hear his voice saying he had endured four years of war just for this.
That he had survived and returned for it… and thus gained so much.
“Hng, w-wait…”
His large hand found hers, still limp where he had pinned it, and gripped it tightly.
Without releasing her hair from his earlier grasp, their intertwined fingers entangled with the fragile gleam of Razel’s golden strands.
Her consciousness blurred amid the messy, ongoing kiss.
“Haa…!”
As their lips parted, a breath burst out. Without a moment’s respite, his warmth descended to her neck.
In turn, Kylo pulled her captured hand up and placed it on his hair.
Then, with a dangerous smile, as if saying she still hadn’t shed her bad habits from her days as his mistress.
This was undoubtedly a familiar eye level and behavior for both. After hesitating, Razel grasped his hair gently, without hurting him.
“Razel…”
Their breaths scattered. With eyes moist from tears, she looked at him.
His gaze and actions seemed closer to resentment than love.
Razel knew he harbored feelings for another woman. She also knew there was no reason for him to love someone as cruel as she had been.
So his desire to take everything from her was purely out of revenge.
‘Knowing that… then what were all the things he gave me while staying here, things he shouldn’t just take from me.’
The things he had returned manifold in gold coins, under the guise of sincerity and charity.
Yet the budding question melted and scattered before it could take root.
The biting wind rattled the windows as the night deepened.
Into a night where nothing could be discerned but each other.
* * *
“Ah…”
A soft winter blanket edge entered her hazy vision.
Blinking repeatedly, Razel slowly sat up. The plush blanket, pulled up to her shoulders, slid down.
Dazedly scanning her surroundings, she snapped back to reality belatedly.
It was an unfamiliar bedroom.
More precisely, the Grand Duchess’s room she had moved to after marrying Kylo at Windmore Castle.
Blinking slowly, she suddenly widened her eyes. Her face flushed bright red in an instant.
‘Right, last night we definitely…!’
Flustered and unsure what to do, Razel fumbled at her nightgown. Then, at some point, her quick movements halted.
‘No, wait…’
Her clothes, which she thought would be disheveled, were calm to the point of being neat.
Moreover, contrary to what she’d heard about the first time being painful, her body felt perfectly fine.
‘Nothing… happened.’
At the abrupt realization, Razel felt a sense of emptiness.
She couldn’t clearly remember if she had lost consciousness before it went all the way, or if he had stopped midway.
‘…It’s a relief he didn’t force it.’
Since she was in a position to be coerced into the act, she should feel relieved, but for some reason, bitterness crept in.
Especially since she had woken alone in this vast bed.
Shaking her head as she stared at the cooled spot beside her.
What are you expecting?
‘I’m in no position to hope for anything from Kylo. Especially since we didn’t even consummate the marriage.’
There was no reason for him to stay by her side.
Rising from the bed and sitting on the edge, she gloomily repeated to herself like a mantra.
‘Kylo hates me, and he came for revenge on the wounds I inflicted…’
But before the thought could finish, the bedroom door opened.
Thinking it was the maids, Razel lifted her head indifferently—and her eyes widened.
“Looks like you’re awake just in time.”
The man she thought wouldn’t come had defied expectations and returned here.
As he stepped aside from the door, servants followed in, set up breakfast on a nearby table, and vanished.
Razel watched the scene in bewilderment. Her wandering gaze finally settled on Kylo.
Unlike her stunned expression, he spoke with a nonchalant face.
“Since you’re up, we should have breakfast. As a married couple, it’s only natural to do it together.”
