No matter what had happened between us before — no matter that we had promised to keep visiting the orphanage together — I had not believed that promise would still be honored after everything that occurred.
After all, even if it was a misunderstanding, Axel had come to believe that I had deceived him. That I had played him for a fool and betrayed him.
He had been carrying a depth of anger toward me that went beyond anything words could adequately describe.
And so I had resigned myself to the possibility that he would simply stop coming to the orphanage. That there was nothing to be done about it.
Because of that, I had spent the entire night before my visit turning over in my mind how I would answer the children when they inevitably asked where he was.
When I heard the news, I was genuinely surprised.
Had the situation been reversed, I could not honestly say whether I would have been capable of doing the same.
To return to the orphanage — the one that woman who had supposedly made a fool of him had brought him to — purely for the sake of the children. He truly had a remarkable steadiness of character, and an equally remarkable sense of obligation. He never let a single promise go unkept.
That was why, when I heard, I had to quietly swallow a single tear.
The thought had rushed over me all at once — that if only there were no misunderstanding, we would be spending happy days together by now.
But all of that was going to be resolved today.
Because today, without fail, I was going to accomplish what I had come here to do.
A perfect reconciliation with Axel.
Having finished every last preparation, I climbed into the carriage alongside Father.
Sitting across from me, he opened and closed his mouth as though there was something he wanted to say, and then at last he spoke.
“…Well. Judith, my dear.”
“You look lovely today.”
“Thank you, Father.”
I smiled at him warmly.
He continued to watch me, and after a moment, opened his mouth again.
“There won’t be a single person in that hall tonight who outshines you. Every young lord in the room with eyes in his head will be making his way to your side, I have no doubt.”
Father’s preamble was growing longer by the minute. He cleared his throat, and at last arrived at the point.
“What I mean to say is — you don’t need to tie yourself to anyone in particular, my dear. There are more people in this world who want you than you could ever count. I held back from saying it because I didn’t want to add to your burden, but proposals have been pouring in for you year after year. Enough to keep every fireplace in this house burning through the winter. It’s become something of a headache to manage them all, if I’m honest.”
The words were playful, but the expression behind them was perfectly serious, and I burst out laughing. As though relieved, Father’s lips curved upward.
“It doesn’t matter who it is, so long as they truly understand you, my dear. Yes — you don’t need to have anything to do with those worthless, ungrateful sorts who can’t see your worth! Do you understand? What on earth is there to be lacking about you? Those sorts of people — tch. I’d rather you live happily on your own than force yourself to endure someone who doesn’t deserve you.”
It seemed as though he had both the Crown Prince and the Grand Duke in mind, because his brow creased as he spoke, and the words came faster and faster.
He was nothing like the man who had once spoken to me about entertaining suitors. This, I suspected, was his truest feeling.
The look in his eyes as he watched me carried a flash of something quietly pained. This kind of unconditional affection was new to me, and it made my chest feel warm in the most unsettling way.
I looked at him and smiled softly.
“I will, Father.”
As Father and I talked of this and that, the carriage arrived at the imperial palace before I’d noticed. I walked into the banquet hall on his arm.
The moment we stepped inside, I felt several pairs of eyes land on me all at once.
Well. Right now, I am rather a hot topic.
After all, I was the infamous woman supposedly weighing the Crown Prince and the Grand Duke against one another.
They were probably all speculating about which of the two I had ultimately chosen. It was exactly the kind of thing I would have been curious about myself.
I scanned the interior of the hall as discreetly as I could.
Naturally, I was looking for Axel.
I was sorry to Father, but my purpose tonight was to make up with Axel.
If he knew that, he’d probably clutch the back of his neck at the thought of his daughter running back to that worthless scoundrel…
I’m so sorry, Father.
I apologized to him internally, then cast a hawk’s eye across the room — but Axel was nowhere to be seen.
Is he not here yet…?
Surely he wasn’t going to skip the banquet entirely. A dark premonition crept over me.
If that happened, my entire plan would collapse.
Fervently hoping it would not come to that, I followed along behind Father.
Father had apparently decided to use tonight as an opportunity to introduce me to every young noble in the hall, and so, wherever anyone came to greet him, he was relentlessly bringing me forward for introductions.
“Ha ha! Marquess Gilbert, it’s been far too long! No need for me to tell you who this is, I’m sure?”
“My goodness, Your Grace, what a pleasure. Of course — none other than Lady Judith Melberine herself. Who in the world wouldn’t know Lady Melberine?”
“Ha ha ha! That’s right!”
My face went bright red at their exchange.
I’m really perfectly fine, please…
But no amount of quiet resistance made any difference. Father led me around from group to group like a proud otter showing off his most prized possession.
Thanks to that, I had been maintaining a forced smile so long that I was fairly certain my face had developed a nervous tic at the corner of my mouth.
This is not what I should be doing right now…!
But I could not bring myself to refuse when I saw how genuinely happy he was, introducing me to everyone.
It was somewhere in the middle of what must have been the hundredth introduction of the evening when I felt it — a sharp, probing gaze boring into me from somewhere. It had the feeling of someone staring with deliberate persistence.
I turned my head quickly, but I couldn’t spot anyone visibly looking at me.
…Strange. I was certain I felt eyes on me.
I was frowning slightly, tilting my head in puzzlement, when a voice came from beside me. It was the young lord I had just been exchanging pleasantries with.
“L-Lady Melberine? Is something the matter?”
“Oh — no. I must have imagined it.”
I turned back to him with a smile. For no apparent reason, the young lord’s face went suddenly scarlet.
What is it? Is he warm?
I tilted my head at him, puzzled. There had been quite a few like him this evening, now that I thought about it.
The temperature in the hall seemed perfectly comfortable to me, but perhaps some people simply ran hot.
The long relay of introductions finally came to a merciful end only when the members of the imperial family made their entrance into the hall.
Their arrival felt to me like the arrival of rescuers.
I shouted in inward jubilation.
I can finally escape this endless cycle of introductions…!
It had been truly, genuinely exhausting. I felt as though I had spent an entire year’s worth of social energy in a single evening.
Father looked vaguely disappointed at having his mission interrupted, but I had simply reached the end of my endurance.
I exhaled with quiet relief and stood still, listening to the Emperor’s opening address — when I suddenly found myself looking directly into the Crown Prince’s eyes.
My own eyes went wide without my permission. The Crown Prince, perfectly composed, gave me a cheerful little wave.
He — he—!
How could you just wave at me openly like that in front of everyone—!
I startled badly and snapped my gaze away. Every single thing he did was like a live wire — you never knew when it was going to go off.
Now that I thought about it, there was quite a lot I had to say to the Crown Prince as well — but with this many people around, having any kind of private conversation with him was out of the question.
Simply drawing near him would be enough to attract everyone’s attention.
I had already decided there were too many risks involved in approaching the Crown Prince tonight, and was gradually putting more distance between us, when I reminded myself of the one thing that actually mattered.
“Right. This isn’t the time for any of that.”
I needed to find Axel.
Even now that every member of the imperial family had made their appearance, I could not find so much as a strand of his hair anywhere in the hall.
Is Axel genuinely not coming tonight?
A creeping anxiety settled in.
