Chapter 10
“I’ve done wrong, Mother.”
Kiyen sighed heavily. “What wrong could a prince have done? The problem is that the Emperor pities you as a motherless child and coddles you.”
With that, the Empress deftly shifted all blame onto others.
“I’ll devote myself to my studies, act with dignity, and refrain from reckless behavior,” Volter recited mechanically, the words memorized to appease his mother’s anger. He hoped they’d let him escape this uncomfortable moment quickly.
He wanted to rush back to his palace and stuff his face with something—anything. Tender veal steak paired with a wine of exquisite flavor, followed by a dessert of honey-drenched ice cream.
Filling his stomach to bursting with such indulgences was the only way to briefly escape the strange pressure his mother exerted on him.
Kiyen stared at Volter silently before speaking calmly.
“Of course. This mother trusts her son.”
Her tone was ambiguous, teetering between encouragement and threat.
“Go now and refine your studies diligently. You must be a model for all, Prince.”
With that, Kiyen finally dismissed Volter from the room.
He bowed politely and left quietly, but his chest felt tight, as if he could barely breathe. He quickened his pace.
Stepping outside, he took a deep breath.
Just last year, he’d believed that following his mother’s wishes and becoming Emperor would grant him freedom to do as he pleased. He thought wearing the Emperor’s crown and sitting on the throne would mean everything would bend to his will.
But this year, his perspective shifted. His mother intended to make him Emperor only to pull the strings from behind as Empress Dowager.
When will I ever breathe freely?
The thought led him down a dangerous, terrifying path.
For me to be free, wouldn’t my mother have to disappear?
Volter turned and looked up at the towering roof of the Empress’s palace. As a child, it had seemed impossibly high, but at some point, it began to feel closer, almost within reach.
On a fragrant spring day, with flowers in full bloom and the sun shining brightly, everything was perfect.
Yet my mood was far from it.
The bite-sized sandwiches on the pristine table were flawless, but my appetite was gone. The sweet-tart strawberry juice tasted dull and heavy.
And why? Because sitting across from me was that dung cart himself!
Lloyd Croizen, the free-spirited scion of the Croizen ducal family, who’d humiliated me countless times in my past life!
We’d been dragged here by our respective grandfathers and now sat facing each other in the tea garden of the Emperor’s palace.
In my previous life, when we got engaged at thirteen, I was blissfully happy—for exactly two years.
I’d been utterly charmed by his handsome face and believed his flirtatious, suave manners were meant for me alone. His romanticism had captivated me.
How naive I was.
Seven years my senior, he was ten this year. Invited by the Emperor, he’d entered the palace holding his grandfather, Duke Croizen’s, hand.
His striking looks, already promising a dazzling future, were complemented by a roguish smile that knew exactly how to weaponize the mole beneath his eye for devastating effect. It was the bold, confident smile of someone who understood the lethal synergy of his features.
Add to that his polished manners, and if I hadn’t experienced his philandering ways in my past life, I’d have fallen for him without a doubt. I did fall for him, repeatedly, in that past—or rather, future.
But now, my only thought was:
That guy was already trouble even back then…
I glared at him sullenly, sucking on my straw with indifference. I filled my mouth with strawberry juice and swallowed mechanically.
Pretending to be a carefree three-year-old engrossed in sandwiches and juice while ignoring him was starting to wear on me.
“Your Highness seems very tired,” Lloyd remarked.
His words nearly sent the juice I was swallowing down the wrong pipe.
Was he watching me? Is that what this is?
“Cough!”
I nearly sprayed strawberry juice everywhere in a spectacular mess.
“Hack, hack!”
“Oh no, Melly!”
Grandpapa, alarmed, patted my back. Before the maids, standing at a polite distance, could rush over, Lloyd grabbed a napkin from his side of the table and hurried to gently wipe the red juice trickling from my mouth.
“Are you alright, Your Highness?”
Even his voice was smooth and melodic. No wonder the young ladies fell for him left and right back then.
“Cough!”
“Did I startle you?”
His keen observation and ability to read my mood, adapting with effortless finesse, were almost unbelievable for a ten-year-old.
Yes, that charm had once made my heart flutter. Damn it.
The problem was that I wasn’t the only one who thought she couldn’t live without Lord Lloyd, and he was utterly incapable of handling that.
That’s a story for five years from now.
As I stopped coughing and casually picked up a sandwich to eat, Grandpapa awkwardly withdrew the hand he’d been patting me with.
Lloyd, despite being ignored, returned to his seat with a faint smile, unfazed.
Seeing this, Grandpapa beamed with satisfaction.
Oh, please, Grandpa… he’s a dung cart…
“What a thoughtful boy for his age! Ha ha ha!”
“You’re too kind, Your Majesty. Ho ho ho!” Duke Croizen joined in the laughter.
I was losing my mind.
Grandpapa grew even more enthusiastic.
“So, I was thinking, at the evening party for Princess Eonel’s Crown Princess enthronement, it’d be nice to have these two appear together officially.”
Despite the Emperor’s light tone and casual demeanor, it was clear this was a deeply political suggestion.
Grandpapa was planning to ally me with the formidable House of Croizen.
Of course, a marriage—or even an engagement—alliance with the Croizen ducal family is fantastic. Incredibly strong. I’d welcome it with open arms, but not with Lloyd, that jerk!
Roar! I wanted to breathe fire like an enraged dragon in every direction, but Grandpapa, oblivious to my feelings, delivered the final blow.
“I’d like Lloyd to escort Melly on the first day of the celebration.”
At that, I shot up from my seat. Well, technically, I climbed onto the chair to stand, slamming my tiny hands on the table with a thwack!
“No! Don’t wanna! No way!”
Oh, this garbled baby talk—why must it betray me? I wanted to crawl into a mouse hole, but I stubbornly tried to put on a fierce expression.
While Duke Croizen and Lloyd stayed calm, Grandpapa panicked.
“Why not? What’s wrong, Melly? Tell your grandpa everything.”
He hovered, hands outstretched, worried I might slip off the chair.
If I tell you everything, will you really listen? Then I’m against this engagement!
I wanted to shout it out.
But they hadn’t even properly brought up an engagement yet—just that Lloyd should escort me at the official party to make an impression on the nobles.
I racked my little brain again and came up with the most three-year-old answer I could muster.
“…Uh, um… he’s ugly!”
“Ugly? Well, that’s something your grandpa can’t fix… I mean, no, he’s actually quite handsome for his age…”
Handsome or not, he’s going to cause me far more offense in the future.
“Uuuugly!”
I scrunched up my face and shouted, and Lloyd’s eyes widened. His ever-smiling face showed genuine shock. Duke Croizen, for some reason, just chuckled.
Grandpapa, caught between his guest and me, looked utterly flustered.
“Er, Duke Croizen, I’m sorry. Our Melly, she… this is quite embarrassing…”
“It’s fine, Your Majesty. Ho ho ho!”
Judging by the Duke’s laughter, he genuinely found the situation amusing. That was a relief. He continued.
“The wishes of Her Highness herself are what matter most, aren’t they? If she doesn’t want Lloyd’s escort, what could be more important?”
At that, tears welled up in Lloyd’s eyes.
“U-ugly…”
My words must have hit him hard.
But Lloyd, sitting there looking so pitiful, you’re making it seem like I did something awful…
Well, maybe I did do something awful, considering I’m judging him for things that haven’t happened yet. The thought pricked my conscience.
Since it hasn’t happened yet, should I just go along with the adults for now?
The current Lloyd hasn’t wronged me, and aligning with the Croizen ducal family is the easiest way to gain a powerful ally.
Plus, he’s not bad-looking, and his family’s status is impeccable. Thinking about it that way, it wasn’t half bad.
Just no romance. Absolutely no romance. If I spot any hint of trouble, I’ll seize the chance to break it off!
With that resolve, I decided to play along with Grandpapa’s plans.
In the deep of night, just as I thought I’d finally drifted off after tossing and turning, my eyes snapped open. A languid, surreal sensation enveloped me—a dream. A lucid dream.
For the past five years, I’d dreamed relentlessly. Sometimes of my previous life, sometimes of what happened after my death. Like now.
In the dream, an eighteen-year-old me walked silently down a corridor. It seemed like somewhere in the palace, but I couldn’t place where—a dark place with no light. Yet I could see clearly ahead. It was a dream, after all.
I felt the chill of the place but wasn’t cold. Again, a dream.
Descending deeper and deeper underground, I realized where I was.
The basement of the cold palace where I’d been confined.
When an imperial was exiled to the cold palace, it was usually for some political or actual transgression. The attendants or maids serving them closely were rarely innocent either, often sharing in the blood of their crimes. This was where such servants were locked away.
As I quickened my steps, a small door appeared before me. Grasping the heavy iron handle, I pulled, expecting it to be locked, but it creaked open.
As I hesitated, someone passed through me like a ghost and entered first.
Duke Croizen…?
In the dream, it wasn’t the old Duke Croizen but his son, the young Duke Croizen from my memories of my past life.
He held a long sword in his hand.
He spoke to a round, shadowy figure ahead, but his words were faint, drowned out by static-like noise.
What’s going on?
I stepped forward, one step at a time. The shadowy figure grew clearer.
Ar…?
