Chapter 149. He Is Not Here
“‘Damn it…… Is something cursed hanging over me?’”
Graig, the butler of Elpengreen.
And Mrs. Charlotte, the housekeeper.
Looking at the grave expressions of the two people he had known for a long time, the gatekeeper suddenly found himself thinking that.
Lately, his luck had been so terrible that there must surely be some kind of curse hanging over him.
Otherwise, there was no way this could keep happening every time it rained.
“……What should we do?”
Breaking the suffocating silence, Mrs. Charlotte finally spoke.
The gatekeeper’s gaze quickly shifted from Mrs. Charlotte to Graig standing beside her.
The old butler, who had been holding his chin with one hand, remained silent for quite some time before finally speaking with a long sigh.
“We’ll have to…… send her away.”
The moment those words fell, both of their gazes turned toward the gatekeeper at the same time.
“‘For heaven’s sake.’”
At that instant, a vicious curse nearly rose to his throat.
The gatekeeper waved his hand firmly with a deeply furrowed expression.
“I can’t do it.”
No, if that were the case, why had he run all the way here in such a hurry?
At this hour of the night, no less.
And through this rain.
About ten minutes earlier, because of the sudden downpour, the gatekeeper had decided to close the main gate earlier than usual.
He sensed something strange while trudging along the long outer wall carrying a heavy ring of keys.
Something suspicious suddenly caught his eye.
After hesitating for a moment at the black figure visible beyond the iron gate, he eventually approached it.
And after examining it for a while, he was startled out of his wits.
At first, he thought it was a ghost.
A pale white face faintly glowing in the darkness.
Normally, he might have immediately threatened the suspicious person, who kept repeating in a dying voice that she wanted to be let inside.
But he could not bring himself to do that.
The reason was that he happened to recognize who that face belonged to.
Although it had been several months ago, he knew that the woman before him was the maid who had shared a peculiar relationship with the Duke who owned this estate.
And he simply could not bring himself to drive her away with his own hands.
And……
When he recalled the pitiful face of someone standing there in the cold rain, pleading desperately, he felt even less capable of doing so.
“‘Nope, absolutely can’t.’”
The gatekeeper waved his hand even more vigorously than before.
“I can’t do it.”
“If you insist on it, then one of you two can do it yourselves.”
At his blunt reply, both Charlotte and Graig frowned deeply.
Whether they liked it or not, the gatekeeper simply sealed his lips shut and turned his head away.
What he could not do, he could not do.
☆☆☆
Whoooosh—
The rain striking her skin sent a chill deep into her bones.
Bloodless pale lips.
A body as cold as ice.
Even as she wrapped her trembling body with both arms, Deborah’s gaze never left the area beyond the iron gate.
She could not really remember what had possessed her to come all the way here.
When she came to her senses, she was already running through the streets.
The next moment, she found herself riding in a wagon piled high with hay.
Curled up against one side of the dense haystack, she had spent the past several dozen minutes thinking only one thing.
She had to see him.
She had no intention of shamelessly asking for forgiveness.
How could she possibly make excuses now for the terrible deception she had committed?
Still, she wanted to clear up that misunderstanding.
That accusation that she had approached him intentionally from the very beginning.
She wanted to tell him that none of it was true.
That from the beginning until now, her feelings for him had always been sincere every single moment……
She desperately wanted to tell him that.
Even if he did not believe her, it was fine.
Even if he cruelly accused her of lying once again and turned away, saying there was no way he could believe such words now.
It did not matter.
At this moment, she simply felt she could not endure without telling him.
No……
That was not it either.
Thinking about it now, none of that was the real reason.
The truth was, the truth was……
Even if he looked at her coldly, she simply wanted to see him one more time.
Just because she missed him……
Because she missed him so, so much……
The longing was so suffocating that she herself could not understand how she had endured these past few months.
Clank.
As tears poured endlessly from her eyes amid the overwhelming emotions, she suddenly heard the sound of the iron gate rattling.
Deborah’s trembling eyes quickly lifted toward it.
The narrow gap in the gate slowly opened.
Without even breathing, Deborah stared at the person walking out through it.
The moment that person finally stopped in front of her.
“……Madam.”
A faint voice slipped through Deborah’s smiling lips.
No umbrella.
Only thin clothes.
Standing in this cold rain in such a state.
Anyone would have found the sight pitiful and heartbreaking.
Yet Charlotte’s grief-stricken expression soon became colder than the rain falling from the sky.
“What exactly do you think you’re doing?”
A single sentence dropped like frost.
A stern rebuke directed at someone who had come barging in late at night and caused a disturbance.
In the past, that scolding alone might have made Deborah freeze immediately.
But things were different now.
If she were the sort to retreat out of fear, she never would have come all the way here in the first place.
Deborah quickly stepped forward and grabbed Charlotte’s arm.
“Madam.”
Charlotte flinched slightly at the unexpected action.
“Please…… let me see the Duke.”
“……”
“There’s something I absolutely have to tell him……”
“I really must see him and tell him something……”
Perhaps the silent response made her anxious.
Her grip on Charlotte’s arm tightened.
Afraid that even clinging like this would not help.
Afraid she would fail to meet him and end up returning just like this.
“Madam, please, just on—”
“Go back.”
“……”
She pleaded desperately.
But what returned was a cold refusal.
For a moment, her mind went completely blank.
Yet because of that, her tangled thoughts became clearer than ever.
The hand gripping Charlotte’s arm slowly slipped away.
Dropping to her knees at Charlotte’s feet, Deborah grabbed the hem of her skirt and began pleading again.
“Please…… I’m begging you like this.”
“Just once…… only this one time……”
“Then I-I won’t come again after that.”
So please, just this once, let me see him—
Deborah threw away all her dignity and clung to her.
Her body, left for so long in the cold rain, was now trembling uncontrollably.
But Deborah paid no attention to that.
She simply waited.
And waited.
For the words that would come from Charlotte’s mouth.
How long did she wait like that?
After remaining silent for a long time, Charlotte finally spoke in a low voice.
“He is not here.”
“……”
“The Duke is not here.”
For a moment, a short breath escaped Deborah’s lips.
She could not understand what those words meant.
Watching her silently, Charlotte continued in a calm voice.
“He already left this place several days ago and moved elsewhere.”
“W-When…… where…… did he…… go……?”
At the vacant question asked in a dazed voice, Charlotte let out a long sigh.
“Deborah.”
The way she called her name felt completely different from before.
The voice sounded almost comforting.
Almost pitiful.
Deborah’s long eyelashes slowly lowered and rose once.
“The Duke—”
“……”
“The Duke became engaged not long ago.”
“……”
“As you already know, to the daughter of the Constant Marquess family, as originally planned.”
“……”
Just as Charlotte said, Deborah already knew.
That he had become engaged to another woman.
That he had completely cut away someone like her.
And promised marriage to another woman.
“And immediately afterward, he departed for another castle.”
“I cannot tell you where he went.”
“But even if I could, what exactly do you intend to do now?”
“Clear…… up…… the misunderstanding……”
With vacant, unfocused eyes like a person who had lost her soul, Deborah answered.
She wanted to clear up the misunderstanding.
But at that answer, Charlotte’s brows furrowed even deeper.
“If you think that gentleman will forgive you.”
“……”
“You would do well to abandon that thought.”
“He will never forgive you.”
Charlotte was one of the people who had known him for a very long time.
Since those words came from someone like her, they should naturally have been true.
Yet strangely, Deborah’s heart throbbed and ached as though cut by something sharp.
“If I may offer one piece of advice out of the affection I still have for you.”
“……”
“Even if you happen to cross paths with him somewhere else.”
“It would be best for you not to let him see you if at all possible.”
She did not elaborate further.
Yet Deborah understood the meaning hidden within those words.
—Just say one word.
—I’ll kill you where you stand.
That chilling threat from long ago.
It was a warning that if the two ever met again, it would not remain a mere threat.
As though all strength had left her body, the hand clutching Charlotte’s skirt slipped away helplessly.
Charlotte placed the umbrella she had brought into Deborah’s hand as Deborah sat blankly on the ground.
“Farewell.”
That was her final goodbye.
Watching Charlotte’s figure grow farther and farther away through the pouring rain, Deborah remained sitting there on the ground for a long time afterward.
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