Chapter 150. Filthy and Disgusting, I Suppose.
The sound came not long after Mrs. Charlotte had disappeared.
A sound mixed into the rain.
The moment she realized that the noise drawing closer and closer was the sound of someone’s footsteps, a soft *Heh-* of laughter slipped into her ears.
The moment she realized that the noise drawing closer and closer was the sound of someone’s footsteps, a soft *Heh-* of laughter slipped into her ears.
Only then did Deborah slowly turn her gaze toward the direction from which the sound was coming.
“You look absolutely miserable.”
“You look absolutely miserable.”
“……”
The person looking down at her sitting on the ground was none other than Ludmilla.
Despite Ludmilla’s sudden appearance, strangely enough, Deborah felt nothing at all.
Despite Ludmilla’s sudden appearance, strangely enough, Deborah felt nothing at all.
Why had Ludmilla come outside the estate at this hour, on a rainy night like this?
And why was she looking down at her with such an expression?
With her muddled mind, unable to think clearly about a single thing, Deborah remained silent.
“You know, do you have any idea how anxious I was on my way here?”
“……”
“I was worried you might have already left.”
The gentle voice that flowed from her lips almost created an illusion.
As though she had truly come running all the way here because she wanted to see Deborah.
But the words that followed immediately proved that to be nothing more than an illusion.
“I was afraid I might miss seeing you in this state with my own two eyes and have it all end there—so I ran through this rain like a madwoman.”
With every word she practically chewed out, the fury hidden beneath them could be felt clearly.
While staring at her for a long moment, something suddenly flashed through Deborah’s mind.
One question she had carried for some time.
Deborah slowly voiced the thought that had been lingering in her head.
“You… knew everything…… But then…… why……?”
“Why did I keep my mouth shut all this time?”
Ludmilla somehow understood and answered the clumsy words that came from Deborah’s frozen tongue.
It was from that moment.
The unsettling smile lingering on Ludmilla’s face vanished instantly.
“Because that would hurt you the most.”
“…What?”
Deborah’s eyes shook greatly in confusion.
Because it would hurt her the most…
The answer to why she had pretended not to know and remained silent was far too strange.
Keeping her gaze fixed on Deborah’s stunned face, Ludmilla took a step forward.
“You know, when I first learned your secret.”
“……”
A whisper-like voice flowed from Ludmilla’s lips as she approached.
“I was so excited that night I couldn’t sleep.”
“My heart raced at the thought that I had finally gotten the key to throwing you out.”
“……”
“But then a thought suddenly occurred to me.”
“Was that really all I wanted?”
Ludmilla blinked rapidly.
Then her brows furrowed deeply.
“Think about it.”
“Even if the truth came out, the worst that would happen was that you’d get fired.”
“What was so special about that?”
“You’d feel hopeless for a little while, sure.”
“But once you found another job, you’d be perfectly fine before long.”
Wouldn’t that be too boring?
Though the question came immediately afterward, Deborah’s lips remained firmly shut.
It did not seem as though Ludmilla had expected an answer anyway.
Without caring, she continued speaking.
“What I wanted wasn’t something so trivial.”
At the smile that reappeared on Ludmilla’s face, Deborah unconsciously bit her lip hard.
“Then, while I was thinking about all that, I learned something unexpected.”
“That you were coming and going from the Duke’s bedroom.”
“That was when I knew I had it.”
“You were probably drowning in sweet dreams of climbing the social ladder.”
“And I thought, how entertaining would it be if I exposed that secret at exactly that moment?”
“……”
“Of course, I figured the man involved would be a much more suitable person to expose the truth than I would.”
As Ludmilla openly confessed everything herself, the questions that had remained stuck in Deborah’s mind finally began to unravel.
Why Ludmilla had remained silent until the very last moment despite knowing everything.
How Godric had discovered where she was.
And how he had happened to show up on that exact day.
The moment she realized all of it had originated from Ludmilla’s ugly emotions, blue flames began to rise within the emptiness of her chest.
Deborah, who had been sitting on the muddy ground, slowly pushed herself up using the wall.
Several times she nearly collapsed while standing.
But she stubbornly endured.
And the moment she finally stood on her own two feet—
One hand shot upward.
Anticipating the blow that was about to come, Ludmilla instinctively squeezed her eyes shut.
“……”
But even after a long moment passed, all she could hear was the pouring rain.
Realizing that nothing had happened, Ludmilla slowly opened her eyes again.
The sight before her was exactly the same as before she had closed them.
Deborah stood there glaring at her fiercely, one hand raised high.
The only difference was her tightly pressed lips, as though she were struggling to suppress overwhelming emotions.
At that foolish behavior, a dry laugh escaped Ludmilla’s lips.
“Why not hit me?”
“……”
“I was even willing to let you land one slap.”
Deborah stared at that shameless, smirking face for a long time.
If she were honest, she truly wanted to slap her across the face with all her strength.
To ask how she could commit something so horrible.
To ask what Deborah had ever done so wrong.
But what was the point now?
Everything was already over.
There was no way to turn any of it back now……
No matter the reason, the fact remained that she had deceived him.
Blaming Ludmilla at this point was meaningless.
Deborah’s hand slowly fell back to her side.
“No.”
“You’re not even worth that.”
She no longer wanted to stay here.
The emotions that had brought her all the way here with nothing but the desire to see him seemed to have been washed away by the cold rain.
The faint hope that had remained in her heart had also vanished completely.
She no longer wished to waste her breath arguing with Ludmilla.
I should go back now……
Just as she thought that and turned to leave—
“I heard the Duke gave an order.”
“Burn everything you touched.”
The shout ringing sharply in her ears caused Deborah’s body to freeze once more.
Behind her motionless back, Ludmilla’s voice echoed loudly.
“It must have been not long after that incident.”
Deborah instinctively understood that the “incident” Ludmilla referred to was the day Godric had come.
“One night, a tremendous crash threw the entire estate into chaos.”
“Everyone had been sleeping peacefully, so naturally they were shocked and wondered what had happened.”
“But do you know what caused it?”
“……”
“I didn’t see it myself.”
“But the story spread everywhere the next day.”
“They said the Duke took an axe into his bedroom that night and smashed all the furniture like a madman.”
“Every single piece.”
“Without leaving even one intact.”
“……”
“And then he ordered everything burned.”
“Not just your clothes.”
“Everything you had ever touched.”
Deborah knew very well that she should not keep listening.
These were words spoken by someone desperate to hurt her.
She knew there was no reason to stand here listening to such a person.
She knew it all.
And yet her feet felt rooted to the ground.
She could not move.
“Well, it’s only natural.”
“The great Duke of Cheister was played by a filthy orphan girl.”
“Just imagine how horrifying that must have been.”
“He slept with her without even knowing she was another man’s wife.”
“Filthy and disgusting, I suppose.”
“……”
“Everyone says you were incredibly lucky.”
“A lowly maid dared to deceive a Duke.”
“Normally, that would mean prison at best.”
“Or being whipped until bones broke somewhere.”
The words were dripping with malice.
But in truth, they were correct.
Under the laws of the Kingdom of Ruvake., insulting royalty or high-ranking nobles was considered a grave crime.
A crime severe enough to warrant the harshest punishments.
So perhaps she truly was lucky, just as they said.
No.
To anyone looking in, that was certainly true.
Then why did her heart feel so utterly devastated?
Why did she feel so hollow, as though a hole had been carved through her chest?
No one could possibly imagine it.
If only that day he had ordered her to be whipped—
If only he had raged at her for deceiving him and handed down a fitting punishment—
Would she at least have been given the chance to cling to his feet and beg for forgiveness?
No one would ever guess that since that day, she had entertained such insane thoughts again and again.
“……”
Deborah slowly forced her unsteady legs to move.
She began walking.
For a while, she could still hear Ludmilla’s voice behind her.
But even that was eventually swallowed by the fierce sound of the rain and disappeared without a trace.
Through the pitch-black darkness, Deborah wandered on.
Walking.
And walking.
☆☆☆
