Chapter 9
Kavil’s eyes flashed menacingly.
Helena belatedly realized that the word “family” had grated on his nerves, but she had no intention of backing down.
She absolutely had to attend this gathering with Kavil. Her trembling hands dropped below the table, clasping together. In a calm voice, she said,
“Yes. If you and I aren’t family, then what are we? Oh, while we’re on the subject, how about having meals together more often from now on? Eating cozily with family has been my long-held dream.”
Kavil stared blatantly at Helena like a predator eyeing its prey, then slowly tilted his head.
“Eating with family is your long-held dream…”
Mulling over Helena’s words, Kavil idly swirled his wine glass. The blood-red liquid sloshed precariously inside the round glass. His cold golden eyes, sharp with intent, suddenly fixed on Helena.
“I thought you were just good at saying things you don’t mean, but you’re skilled at lying too.”
“Pardon? What do you…”
Kavil set his wine glass down on the table with a sharp clink.
“Sorry, but I can’t make that dream come true. I don’t eat with others. Sitting across from you like this is already torturous enough.”
“……”
“Unlike the pampered youngest lady, I grew up without ever sharing a meal with family.”
“……”
“I think that’s answer enough. I’ll excuse myself first.”
“No.”
Helena stopped Kavil as he tried to stand, gazing at him with resolute eyes.
“Then we need to eat together even more. Since I’m your wife and now your family, from now on, you can eat with me. Right?”
“……”
“Please come with me, Your Grace. I think I’ll desperately need you that day, more than ever.”
“……”
Kavil stared blankly at Helena. More precisely, he fixed his gaze on her small shoulders, tense with effort, and her rigidly stiff face, checking if she was clenching her fists tightly beneath the table.
No matter how he looked at it, her face seemed to be suppressing fear beyond mere tension.
Yet, with no intention of retreating, her lush green eyes met his straight on without flinching.
A taut silence wedged between them.
In the end, it was Kavil who looked away first. Slumping back into his seat, he roughly rubbed his face and muttered in a low voice, like a sigh.
“You have a peculiar talent. You keep making me give in to you… even though I shouldn’t.”
“What do you mean by that?”
Kavil lifted his bowed head. Her rigidly tense shoulders and expression still irritated him.
Would she show a relaxed side in front of him if he granted her request? He thought absently, then startled.
Afraid Helena might read his thoughts, Kavil hurriedly said,
“You said it was the viscountess’s birthday? Send the exact date and time through the butler. I’ll clear my schedule for that day.”
“……!”
“I’ll excuse myself first.”
Helena gazed blankly at Kavil’s retreating figure as he swiftly left the dining room, then her eyes turned to where he had been sitting.
Like her, Kavil had barely touched his food. Helena sighed and called Marian.
“Marian, could you bring some digestive medicine?”
She hadn’t eaten much, yet her chest was already starting to ache.
* * *
The ducal hunting grounds.
Far off, a deer flickered in and out of view among the bushes. Kavil aimed the muzzle at the deer with focused eyes.
The deer, oblivious to death approaching, appeared utterly peaceful. Aiming at the deer’s neck, he held his breath and was about to pull the trigger when.
“Your Grace is my husband… and family.”
“Since I’m your wife and now your family, from now on, you can eat with me. Right?”
Helena’s voice suddenly echoed in his ears.
Bang!
Startled birds took flight en masse at the dull explosion. His concentration must have been thoroughly disrupted, as the bullet missed the deer entirely and embedded in a tree.
Confirming the deer had fled far away, Kavil let out an irritated sigh and raked his hand through his hair. Lately, his mind was tangled in various ways. Naturally, the cause was Helena.
‘Damn it.’
It was baffling how such a small woman, barely reaching his chest, could stir his heart so profoundly.
The dinner shared with Helena seemed nailed into his mind along with his heart, refusing to fade.
Every word of their conversation, every faint smile of hers, lingered like afterimages, clouding his thoughts.
He tried concluding it was because it was his first proper meal with someone, but his heart wouldn’t settle. Every thought ended with Helena.
“Hah.”
Letting out a long sigh, Kavil rubbed his face dryly. Seeing Helena brought back past memories along with ‘that child.’ It was so hard, so painful. That’s why he pushed her away. But now…
“I’ll prove that I don’t resemble your bad memories.”
As time spent with her lengthened and he learned unknown sides of her, ‘that child,’ branded into his life like a scar, gradually blurred, while she began to remain vividly instead.
At first, being with her was painful because it reminded him of that child. Now, time with her had become the only moments when he didn’t think of that child.
‘Damn it.’
Kavil ended the hunt earlier than expected and returned to the mansion. Though he absurdly missed the deer, he later caught a fairly large wild boar.
After handing the carcass to the servants, he lightly headed to the main building, but his steps halted abruptly.
“……!”
Far ahead, Helena appeared, walking with her maids.
Colorful paints smeared her wrists and cheeks, suggesting she had been painting in the annex today as well.
Perhaps sharing a pleasant story, her face bloomed with smiles. It was a sight Kavil had never seen.
And understandably so—before him, she always wore forced smiles, her eyes filled with fear.
Kavil stared at Helena as if rooted in place. Her softly curved eyes, upturned lips, and the round dimples that appeared on her cheeks when she laughed.
It was a sight too precious even to behold, stirring jealousy toward the maids surrounding her. While he had to steal glimpses like a thief, they dared to…
Unconsciously clenching his fist, he startled and released it. He couldn’t believe the thoughts he’d just had.
Letting out a hollow laugh in disbelief.
‘Damn. She’s full of surprises.’
Barely tearing his gaze from Helena, where it had been fixed, he turned toward the mansion. He had to leave before she noticed him.
For the first time, Kavil found the bloodstains clinging to his hands bothersome.
* * *
In the blink of an eye, a week passed, and the day arrived for Helena’s eldest sister Eleanor’s birthday party.
Marian, up early in the morning, passed through the sunlit corridor toward the duchess’s room.
With a knock, she cautiously opened the door and entered, spotting the wide-open window. She hurried to close it.
The room, filled with morning air, carried a chilly draft. Helena, perhaps feeling cold in her sleep, was bundled tightly in thick blankets.
Helena feared enclosed spaces, so even in cold weather, she slept with the window open.
Gazing at the soundly sleeping Helena, Marian let out a small sigh before gently shaking her awake.
Helena, emerging after a long bath, was greeted by racks full of dresses and boxes of jewelry.
Seated at the vanity, surrounded by maids, they sought her opinion.
“Madam, how about decorating your hair with flower pins?”
“Yes. Oh, I can do that much myself—hand it over.”
“Madam, the ends are sharp, so be careful… Goodness, Madam!”
At Marian’s scream, the maids turned and widened their eyes. The sharp pin of the flower accessory had grazed her, and red blood dripped from Helena’s fingertip.
The shocked maids quickly applied pressure with handkerchiefs and rushed to fetch the physician.
“It’s just a scratch. I’m fine, no need…”
“Madam, absolutely not.”
Soon, the resident physician arrived, meticulously examining and treating Helena’s fingertip. Helena gazed at her bandaged fingertip and muttered discontentedly.
“This isn’t necessary…”
“Didn’t you hear him say the wound is deeper than it looks? Avoid water and keep the bandage on for a while, Madam.”
Noticing the worry in Marian’s stern eyes, Helena nodded reluctantly. Thus, throughout the preparations, Helena had to endure Marian’s lengthy scolding.
* * *
“Goodness, Madam… You’re so, so beautiful!”
The maids gasped in admiration, covering their mouths. Helena smiled shyly and glanced repeatedly at the mirror, self-conscious of her exposed shoulders and back.
“It seems a bit flashy…”
“Not at all!”
The light chiffon dress, layered like petals in pale lavender, rustled and spread at her feet. Gems densely sewn from the bodice to the hem sparkled like stars with every movement, reflecting the light.
With her hair upswept except for naturally falling strands, Helena’s pale nape was revealed.
Surrounded by the maids’ fuss for a while, Helena called Marian.
“Marian, the painting?”
“I told the attendant to load it into the carriage—should I have it brought back?”
“No, it’s fine. I need to go down now. It’s already time.”
“Yes, Madam.”
Descending the stairs, Helena suddenly halted midway. It was then that Kavil, about to exit the entrance, turned abruptly.
Their eyes met in midair. Like prey caught in a trap, Helena locked eyes with Kavil motionless before averting her gaze first.
Slowly approaching until she stood before him, Helena looked up and smiled brightly.
“Your Grace.”
Kavil, frozen like a statue until Helena neared, slowly met her eyes at her call.
“You’ll be able to come before the party ends, right?”
In his daze, Kavil belatedly recalled her question. Nodding once, he said,
“I won’t make you wait long.”
“……”
“I’ll be there soon.”
Helena’s eyes widened at the unexpected response. After pondering her reply, she smiled faintly and nodded.
“Thank you; that’s enough for me.”
“……”
“See you soon, Your Grace.”
As Helena bowed slightly and tried to pass Kavil first.
“Madam.”
Kavil abruptly blocked her path. Unlike usual, his face seemed to hold something he wanted to say.
Helena blinked in confusion. It was the first time he had initiated conversation with her.
With his gaze fixed on her, Kavil extended his hand toward Claude standing beside him. Claude stared blankly at the outstretched hand, puzzled.
“The outer garment.”
“Pardon? Outer garment?”
As Claude questioned what he meant, Kavil’s eyes turned fierce. At that moment, Marian, holding a shawl behind Helena, grasped his intent and quickly handed it to him.
Helena alternated her gaze between the offered shawl and Kavil. His unusual behavior today felt unfamiliar.
While she stood dazed, one of Kavil’s eyebrows arched.
“Don’t tell me you’re waiting for me to do it?”
“Pardon? What do you… Ah.”
His overwhelmingly large and solid frame leaned sharply toward Helena. The distance was less than a hand’s breadth.
