Episode 29
Father, upon two of the three brothers who inherited the family’s blood being disqualified from the knight’s qualification to bear the Halberd name, placed an almost obsessive expectation on me.
Fortunately, I had a more outstanding physique and strength than my older brothers, and I possessed a talent for the sword that was more perfect than anyone else’s. Above all, unlike my brothers, I liked the sword very much.
I still remember it. The time when I first encountered the Arming sword.
When my seventh birthday was not far off, Father suddenly entered my room and asked me in a serious voice.
‘Do you like the sword?’
Around that time, I pestered my nanny every day to go for a walk to the training ground, and I was spending most of my time watching my brothers learning swordsmanship.
The training ground was a very dangerous place for a young me to enter, but I was completely fascinated by knights and swordsmanship, especially the real swords they were wielding, the ‘Arming sword.’
The slender sword body with an almond-shaped cross-section that narrowed in width toward the tip completely captured my young heart.
The afterimage of light scattered by reflecting sunlight was also one of the elements that made my heart pound.
‘Do you want to learn the sword? If you want, I will let you hold the sword right now.’
Looking back, Father seemed to have given up expectations for my brothers at this time.
Rather than clinging to hopeless opponents, he focused on Rustein Halberd as the last resort to regain a way out.
As a result, Father’s choice was right. I was someone who lacked nothing in satisfying your desires, and in some parts, I even surpassed Father.
My talent for the sword was truly remarkable, so without constant effort, I could easily break others’ swords, and I easily reached realms that others strangely wanted to go to.
Was that why? Less than a year after learning the sword, I came to hear the word ‘genius.’ Father was greatly satisfied with my skills.
‘You are the true ‘Halberd.”
In fact, boys from noble families spend 7-8 years learning the sword.
They enter a family to serve as a knight or lord as a master, belonging to the status of Page, and take on all sorts of miscellaneous chores.
However, I held the sword right away in exceptionally favorable conditions, and in less than 4-5 years, I entered the Wischwaltz family as a knight.
This was astonishingly close to revolutionary, and for a while, high society was very noisy about my knight appointment.
But my master knight was my father, ‘Ferdian Halberd,’ and he was a person famous enough to be counted on one hand for swordsmanship skills among knights belonging to various families.
And I was considered to have been born with talent surpassing such a father.
Therefore, Count Wischwaltz did not hesitate to appoint me as an apprentice knight and rather thought it natural.
It was no wonder that people said I might become the youngest Knight banneret in the empire’s history.
However, there is something everyone misunderstands: the reason I could receive the knight’s title was not simply because I was a genius in swordsmanship. It was because of hands stained with blood.
By the time I took my first step into the Wischwaltz family, my sword was already drenched in the enemy’s blood, and my feet were muddy with others’ flesh and blood.
I remember when I committed my first murder. It was only a year and a half after learning the sword, when I was overflowing with confidence in myself, lured by the word genius.
The Wischwaltz count family, whom the Halberd family serves as lord, owns territory but mainly runs the family through commerce-related affairs.
Count Wischwaltz was born with innate talent in commerce and was further prospering the family in his generation.
He mainly dealt in rare items used by nobles, and it was no exaggeration to say that all luxury goods entering high society used the Wischwaltz family’s trade ships. Therefore, the Wischwaltz family often became targets of bandits.
Father, as a knight belonging to the Wischwaltz family, spent a lot of time exterminating bandit groups.
He knew that the more bandits he killed, the higher his knightly merits, and he could gain the count’s trust.
So Ferdian Halberd, my father, demanded that I disguise as a ‘Squire’ and participate in battle together.
It’s still vivid when I close my eyes. The gazes of those who looked down on, ridiculed, and mocked the young boy whose rosy cheeks had not yet faded.
‘A squire? Nonsense. What on earth is Sir Halberd thinking? This isn’t a training ground. It’s a battlefield where actual combat takes place.’
People’s mouths are cruel. They judged me only by what they saw and further revealed distrust toward Father.
To them, I was a husk struggling to receive a title relying on the Halberd family’s halo.
Therefore, not only the numerous knights present there but also other squires doubted whether I could even hold a sword. It continued until I committed my first murder.
Unfortunately, Father wanted me to show a more plausible appearance than anyone else in this battle.
You seemed impatient to boast to everyone that there is a genius like me in the Halberd family. Therefore, throughout the battle, Father treated me as Sir Ferdian Halberd, not as a boy’s biological father.
Ah, my father was not considering at all what emotions I had or what thoughts I held in the life-and-death battle I faced for the first time in my life. It came to me as a great burden.
The body remembers. The eyes recall. The head preserves. The hands still vividly contain the texture of that time. The bandit who charged at me while shouting.
He was a man who looked fierce due to the scar on his face and showed a quite murderous appearance.
The man charged at me with a roar, and his sword was clearly for the purpose of killing people.
The pupils reddened with expectation of murder and the corners of the mouth with a cruel smile seemed to confirm my death.
In reality, I was surprised by the first encounter with another’s killing intent and couldn’t move my body, feeling fear toward him.
The reason I could survive was because the training up to then was ingrained in my body.
The instinct to live and the innate sense related to combat exploded at this opportunity, stabbing the opponent’s neck.
Pook.
The sound of piercing flesh and blood tears through the ears. The strange feeling transmitted to the hand was horrifying enough to make one shudder. It was different from ordinary sparring.
The blood flowing along the blade, the bloody scent piercing the nose tip, the body skewered on the sword and twitching was like a nightmare.
The bandit’s body, foaming at the mouth with eyes rolled back and trembling, was terror itself and delivered a shock as if the world was collapsing.
At that time, everything was enveloped in silence as if stopped.
The bandit staggered and let out a gurgling phlegm-boiling groan. His hand fumbling and reaching toward the air was flailing as if trying to grab an invisible illusion.
He twitched for a while and grabbed the blade of my sword. Even though blood flowed between his knuckles, he seemed not to feel pain, gasping for breath and glaring at me, making goosebumps rise. The eyes distorted with resentment seemed to say ‘murderer.’
I was afraid. I was scared. If I stayed like this, it felt like I would fall into the abyss together, so I twisted my body in disgust and tried to pull out the sword stuck in the neck.
But the blade stuck in his hand was not easily coming out. Exhausted by the fear of falling into the mud together like this, I lifted my foot and kicked his body.
Pitiful screams were echoing from here and there.
‘Save me, save me! Please stop!’
I covered my ears and bent my body. At the same time, I vomited what I had eaten. Shaking my whole body like an aspen tree, I vomited and vomited again. The feeling of the sword pulling out from others’ flesh and blood was dirty enough to make one nauseous.
Unable to hold back the surging vomit, I threw up everything on the floor right there.
But the surroundings did not leave me alone. Most of them charged to avenge their comrades. Therefore, there was no time to sit down due to shock.
Above all, in my mind, the desire not to die like that was greater than the fear of having killed a person.
So I moved like crazy, swinging the sword, and mercilessly stabbed and slashed the enemies charging at me. When I came to my senses, there was a mountain-like pile of corpses around me.
The battle ended with the victory of the Wischwaltz knights. Only a few knights suffered minor injuries from blind swords, and it was almost a overwhelming victory.
Considering they were knights who wouldn’t lose to mere bandit groups, it was natural.
‘I am proud of you.’
Father caressed my cheek with hands covered in blood and was genuinely happy.
People said they saw me anew and sent gazes close to admiration. Some lightly patted my shoulder and sent friendly smiles.
‘Father, I…….’
‘Now no one will be able to ignore you. Yes, from this, people will know that there is a sword genius named Rustein Halberd, you.’
I wanted to say I was afraid. I wanted to say that killing people was scary.
But seeing Father who was proud, I couldn’t show a weak appearance. So I firmly suppressed the surging emotions and forcibly swallowed them.
My stomach ached tinglingly and a headache arose, but I needed to be more composed than anyone.
Since I knew how great Father’s expectations for me were, I didn’t want to disappoint you. Above all, as Rustein Halberd, I had the duty to please you.
Count Wischwaltz was very pleased and greatly welcomed the merits I had accumulated. He first greatly praised Father, making you proud, and surprised everyone by appointing me as the youngest knight of the Wischwaltz family.
Considering that boys my age were just barely escaping from page to become ‘squire,’ it couldn’t but be a very revolutionary appointment.
The people who fought alongside me welcomed this situation and agreed that the lord made a wise decision.
But most knights, especially those who had just become knight bachelor, expressed dissatisfaction with this personnel decision and were displeased. So they often picked fights under the pretext of sparring.
In fact, around this time, I could hardly sleep due to nightmares about murder.
Outwardly, I acted composed, but my physical condition was changing to the worst day by day, and I was afraid to close my eyes. I was fearful even of the sun setting.
Those I killed came to me every night as vengeful spirits. I screamed and struggled toward them or recited prayers to repent my sins, but it was of no use.
The situation gradually headed toward the worst. Unable to sleep properly, my stamina became miserable, and without the strength to support the sword, I often lost in sparring with other knights.
I showed a performance so pathetic that the name of the youngest knight was colorless, earning everyone’s ridicule. Probably, if my second brother who came to find me hadn’t been there, I would have collapsed right there and never risen again.
☆☆☆☆
By Anna 💓
