For a fleeting moment, I felt a pang of disappointment, but it didn’t matter—he was mine, down to every strand of his hair.
“If you propose first like this, what does that make me, a man?”
“What does gender have to do with proposing?”
“Ugh, you really know how to turn me upside down sometimes.”
He grabbed my cheeks, stretching them sideways. It was the same thing he always did to Lant, and now that I was on the receiving end, it wasn’t exactly pleasant.
Is this how Lant feels every time?
I decided to go easier on Lant’s cheeks in the future and shot Sys a glare.
“Lead go, or I’ll get mad.”
My words came out garbled with my cheeks still pinched. I must’ve looked ridiculous, but Sys gazed at me with a dead-serious expression, not a hint of amusement.
“You have to give me a chance to propose too.”
“You already did.”
“I did? When?”
I swatted his hands away from my cheeks, and he furrowed his brow, trying to recall.
“You’ve been relentlessly asking me to marry you this whole time.”
“Well, yes, but…”
He gave me a complicated look.
“If those weren’t proposals, what were they? Were you lying all those times you asked me to marry you?”
“Of course they were sincere, but that’s not the point!”
“What’s not the point?”
He waved his hand decisively.
“Those weren’t proper proposals. They don’t count.”
His hand slid to the back of my neck, gently cradling my head, tilting it back so I looked up at him.
“I want you to feel the same thrill I’m feeling right now.”
His eyes softened as they met mine.
“So give me a chance to propose properly, Bee.”
Instead of answering, I closed my eyes, granting his request. His soft lips brushed my forehead tenderly.
I was already looking forward to the day he’d propose formally.
“Lant?”
At my question, the servant bowed nervously, unsure how to respond.
“Still at the training grounds?”
“Yes, my lady.”
I sighed, unsurprised.
Since that day, Lant had thrown himself into sword training with reckless intensity. He’d always been diligent, but now he was like a runaway train, unstoppable.
“Is it because of that incident?”
Daysha had used Lant to get to me, and the realization that he’d been my weakness seemed to have shattered him.
“Dinner?”
“Well…”
The servant’s hesitation confirmed my fears. I brushed past him, heading to the training grounds.
I understood Lant’s pain and wanted to give him time to heal, but I couldn’t stand by any longer. He was still growing; pushing himself without eating or sleeping would ruin his body.
At the training grounds, Lant swung his sword under the moonlight, sweat pouring like rain despite the cool night air.
“Lant.”
He either didn’t hear or ignored me, his movements unrelenting. I took a deep breath and stepped boldly into the training area.
“Lant Vayron Elient!”
He froze.
I marched up, snatching the sword from his hand. Unlike usual, he resisted slightly, his eyes defiant. I glared, tightening my grip until his hand relaxed.
“What are you doing?”
I tossed the sword aside and scolded him sharply. His gaze dropped to the ground, his spirit visibly crushed. I steeled myself against softening and pressed on.
“I asked what you’re doing, Lant.”
His eyes remained fixed on the ground.
I crossed my arms, waiting patiently for his response. I was done just watching him suffer.
“I…”
After a long silence, his heavy voice broke through.
“I want to be stronger.”
Tears or sweat—I couldn’t tell—dripped from his face, obscured by his bangs.
“I really want to be strong, Sister.”
His body collapsed to the ground.
“Waaah!”
His loud sobs filled the training grounds. It was the first time since childhood I’d seen him cry like this, pouring out his pain as he had the day he opened his heart to me.
I crouched down, meeting his eyes. Tears streamed down his face like a waterfall. I spoke softly, soothingly.
“Pushing yourself like this won’t make you stronger. You know that, don’t you?”
“Then what do I do? How can I protect you? I want to be stronger than anyone, but this is all I know!”
He sobbed, looking at me with raw anguish. I pulled him into my arms, holding his head tightly.
“Hic, you almost died because of me. Because of me…”
His pitiful whimpers made me hug him harder.
“No, Lant. Don’t ever think that.”
“I swore to protect you, but I couldn’t move. I couldn’t even get close to you!”
His agonized cries revealed the depth of his wounds. My heart tore at his pain.
“Lant, it wasn’t your fault. It was just a bad situation. Never your fault.”
His hurt ran deeper than I’d imagined, and I didn’t know how to comfort him.
All I could do was repeat that it was okay, that it wasn’t his fault.
But I knew my words wouldn’t reach him now. Holding him, soothing him, was all I could offer.
It was heartbreakingly insufficient.
“Welcome, my lady.”
The butler and the Pison household staff bowed. It was my first visit to the estate since the day I held them accountable.
Their demeanor was noticeably stiffer than before. Ignoring it, I stepped inside.
“Welcome, Bijonne.”
“You’re looking much better, Anasha.”
“Thanks to you.”
Anasha’s gaunt face had gained some color. I exchanged polite greetings, pulling a reluctant Lant forward.
Since joining our family, Lant has rarely left the Elient estate. This was his first visit to another noble’s home. Anasha smiled warmly at the nervous boy.
“My, the young lord came too.”
“It’s been a while, Countess Pison.”
Lant bowed politely. Though his visit was unexpected, Anasha welcomed him without hesitation.
“Your first time at our home, isn’t it?”
Lant nodded. Anasha’s bright smile led us to the drawing room.
“Bee!”
Before the maids could serve tea, the door burst open, and El and Lai rushed in.
“Bee, you’re here?”
“Yes, El, I’m right here.”
I smiled, kneeling to hug El as she ran to me, her small arms wrapping around my neck.
For now, the warmth of family and friends was enough to hold the shadows at bay. The Black Priest, the barrier, the Inayari—they could wait. Today, I chose this moment of peace.
