Even after we moved Jin back to his bedroom, I couldn’t bring myself to leave his side. I kept watching him, eyes fixed on his face.
I checked his breathing and heartbeat so many times in a single hour that I worried he might actually feel annoyed by it. How much easier would it be if I could just stick ECG electrodes on him and monitor his vitals in real time? Why doesn’t this world have anything like that?
Blood pressure, pulse, oxygen saturation… I knew only the rough normal ranges, nothing more. But if I could at least see the numbers on a monitor, I wouldn’t feel quite so suffocated by anxiety.
“Doctor. Aren’t you going to sleep?”
Jin blinked slowly and asked.
Do I look like someone who could possibly fall asleep right now? I fidgeted nervously with the mask strings behind my ears and looked down at him.
“Don’t worry about me. Patient-nim should just go to sleep.”
At my reply, Jin suddenly scrunched his face.
“Why? What’s wrong, Jin? Are you in pain somewhere?”
I jolted forward in alarm. He pouted, lips pushed out like a child.
“With the doctor hovering over me like that, how am I supposed to sleep?”
I let out a long, tired sigh. But the truth was, I was just as incapable of closing my eyes from sheer worry.
“Shall I turn off the light? Want me to sing you a lullaby?”
“…You really do treat me like a little kid, Doctor.”
Jin grumbled, clearly displeased.
“You’re only realizing that now?”
I reached over and flicked the light switch down as I spoke. The room plunged into perfect darkness. Nothing at all was visible. I hurriedly pressed the button on my penlight. It doubled as a decent little flashlight—convenient.
In the dark, relying on the narrow beam, I pulled the chair closer to the bed and sat. Jin finally went quiet. Apparently the light really had been keeping him awake. Goodness, what a sensitive child. Our little Jin.
I moved the chair even nearer—careful not to make a sound—and leaned forward, folding my arms on the edge of the mattress. Up close, I could hear the soft wheeze of his breathing. As my eyes adjusted to the dark, his sleeping face came into focus.
‘Sleep well.’
For a long while I simply gazed at him in the darkness. Once I was sure he was deeply asleep, I carefully took out the stethoscope and pressed the bell lightly to his chest.
‘Breath sounds are fine.’
Trying not to make any noise, I slipped the pocket watch from my coat. The numerals and hands glowed faintly in the dark—another clever little invention from Louie. I needed it to count his heartbeats for a full minute.
Normally you’d palpate the pulse at an artery, but I’m no traditional doctor… My fingertips must be too dull; no matter how much I practiced, I could never get a clear reading. I could feel something pulsing, but it was too vague to count accurately over sixty seconds. Much simpler to just listen to the clear lub-dub and count the beats.
‘Pulse 68. Perfectly normal.’
I exhaled in relief. At least for now, nothing alarming was happening.
I kept checking on him like that all through the night. Just watching his sleeping face, checking breathing and pulse—that was all—and yet the hours slipped by so quickly.
At some point I must have dozed off for a moment, because when I opened my eyes again the artificial sun was already rising outside the window. The clock showed past six-thirty. I had fallen asleep slumped over Jin’s bed… Thankfully, he was still fast asleep.
I’d last checked at four in the morning and everything had been normal. Might as well do one more now that I was awake. I immediately pulled out the stethoscope and gently placed it against his chest.
…Wait. Too fast.
My heart sank. I fumbled for the watch. Over a hundred beats in a minute. Why was his pulse suddenly racing like this? He’d been lying perfectly still, sleeping peacefully—what possible reason could there be for his heart to suddenly go haywire?
“Jin—Jin!”
I shook his shoulder. No response. His eyes stayed closed. For someone as light a sleeper as Jin, that much movement should have woken him instantly. Panic surged through me; my whole body began to tremble. What happened while I was nodding off…?
I forced myself to calm down and was about to check pupil response when suddenly his eyes snapped open.
“Why are you waking me up when I’m sleeping?”
He sounded grumpy. I collapsed back into the chair, legs weak.
“You scared me…”
“Your heart was beating way too fast. Are you feeling okay? Anywhere hurt?”
I asked, face full of worry, but Jin only rolled onto his side, propped his chin on one arm, and stared at me steadily.
“I’m perfectly fine, so stop fussing, Doctor.”
He spoke with deliberate calm—but at the very end, his voice quavered the tiniest bit.
Liar… That was definitely a lie. Something’s wrong and he’s hiding it from me.
“Sit up for a second. Let me listen again.”
I urged him. Jin made a small grunt of effort as he pushed himself upright. At least he could sit up on his own, so it probably wasn’t anything catastrophic… but still.
Normally, the moment I said “stethoscope,” he’d start unbuttoning his shirt without being asked. This time he just sat there taking slow, deep breaths.
What is wrong with this man?
“Here. Do your stethoscope thing to your heart’s content.”
After a long stretch of deliberate breathing, he finally undid the buttons. I glared at the watch hands and pressed the bell to his chest.
And just like that—miraculously—his pulse had returned to normal. Breath sounds clear.
“See? Nothing wrong with me, Doctor. Can I get dressed now?”
I set the stethoscope down and scribbled on the chart.
[06:32. Transient tachycardia observed. Cause unknown.]
…Frustrating. Infuriating. What on earth could have caused that sudden spike? If only I could look up causes of tachycardia online… Just one minute with a smartphone. That’s all I’d need to at least narrow it down.
I sighed and began preparing for the morning.
★
Another artificial dawn rose over the underground city. Even after years here, the sight of a sun rising and setting beneath the earth never stopped feeling surreal.
Jin opened his eyes to the false sunlight created by the dwarves. And there—right in front of him—was Astrid, fast asleep. Leaning against his own bed. She must have stayed up all night watching over him and finally drifted off.
Yesterday, when death had come so close… this was the extra day he had wanted so desperately. To open his eyes at the start of it and see her sleeping face so near—it filled his chest with an almost painful joy.
Her sleeping face was beautiful. That small face with its delicate, perfectly arranged features—so lovable it almost hurt to look at her. Of course, it wasn’t her appearance alone that drew him.
Everyone who looked at him—someone already standing at death’s threshold—gazed with pity. Even though Jin had long accepted his fate, those looks made him feel suffocated, miserable.
But Astrid was different.
She never pitied him. That alone eased the tightness in his chest, just a little.
And then there was her brilliant mind, her stubborn determination to keep him alive—those things moved him in ways he hadn’t expected. He himself had never placed so much value on his own life.
“Mmm…”
Astrid let out a small, discontented murmur, as though her dream was troubled.
Jin couldn’t stop the soft huff of laughter. He knew he shouldn’t. He knew he mustn’t reach for her…
Yet he found himself drawn to the faint lavender scent that clung to her. Before he could think better of it, his hand moved—gently brushing the bridge of her nose.
And in that instant—
She flinched and woke.
Jin’s heart slammed violently against his ribs. Panicked, he immediately lay back down and pretended to be asleep.
He hoped she would simply drift off again, but he heard the rustle of movement. She was getting up.
Please, he begged silently, squeezing his eyes shut—please don’t let her hear how wildly my heart is pounding.
But then the cold metal of the stethoscope touched his chest.
‘Calm down… please, calm down…’
She listened far longer than usual. Then she shook him awake. Jin squeezed his eyes even tighter.
‘I’m sleeping. I’m definitely asleep right now…’
Self-hypnosis didn’t work. He could feel her anxious movements. Pretending any longer was impossible.
Only when he finally opened his eyes did she slump back into the chair, startled. She must have been terrified that something was wrong because of his racing heart.
He answered as calmly as he could—said he was fine. He thought he’d handled it well.
Until the very last syllable cracked.
He wasn’t usually this bad at lying.
“Sit up. Let me listen again.”
Her face was full of suspicion. Jin sighed inwardly. No matter how composed he tried to appear on the outside, he could never fool the doctor who saw straight into his body.
He sat up and took slow, deep breaths. In… out… In… out… Gradually the frantic thudding settled back into its usual rhythm.
“Here. Examine to your heart’s content.”
He spoke with exaggerated confidence. Astrid placed the bell against his chest, still looking dubious. The result was, of course, perfectly normal.
She still wore an expression that said she didn’t understand, but Jin felt quietly triumphant. Crisis averted.
He watched her scribble something on the chart while slowly—very slowly—buttoning his shirt back up.
