Chapter 32
Throughout the return to the mansion, I could not meet Lady Sisse. It was the same even after returning.
People called me a brave knight. They praised me for upholding knightliness, though it’s a pity it wasn’t for Lady Roena.
I was not pleased at all by their words. Rather, it was contemptible. Even in the ‘Wischwaltz family’, there was no one worrying about Lady Sisse. That was more chilling than believing false rumors and cursing.
I could not help but feel sadness at their insensitivity and immoral behavior. When I learned that Lady Sisse had been confined by the madam, this emotion reached its peak even more.
Lady Sisse watched the horse charging toward her right in front of her eyes. The shock at that time would be indescribable.
Even a sturdy man would feel terror about it. How much more so for a slender woman. Yet no one, still no one, pities or worries about her.
Even the count family’s attending physician who came to treat me casually mentioned that she is worrying about me. When I heard that, I could not help but wear a bitter smile. Who is worrying about whom. Who is whom!!
So when I accidentally met Lady Sisse in the garden I happened to visit, I could not help but talk about the isolation she must be feeling.
“I am also your knight, young lady.”
This is something that should have been said earlier, words that should have been conveyed to you. Emotions like resignation or giving up on the face do not suit his beautiful face.
But was it too early, or too late? Her appearance hurriedly leaving the garden, fearing people’s eyes and mouths, feels like an ungraspable illusion.
As if foretelling that from now on, I will often only watch the back, like that.
I extended my hand toward the place where you disappeared. There is nothing I can grasp. Even the cast shadow is short, so I cannot feel any lingering.
No need to reveal the heart? Calmness, even if not visible to the eye, shines brightly like the stars in the sky always?
Somehow, it seemed like a hollow laugh was coming out. This reached its extreme when I discovered a handkerchief carelessly rolling among the bushes in the garden where I first met Lady Sisse.
It was hard to recognize, completely dirty with mud and dust, but I could intuitively tell. This was definitely the handkerchief I had given to Lady Sisse.
Were you prepared from the beginning.
I kissed the end of the handkerchief and clutched my bursting heart. Thinking of Lady Sisse wandering in solitude and shedding tears alone makes my heart churn.
I thought it doesn’t matter whether this is a sense of duty as a knight or pity for someone reminiscent of my brother.
No, thinking it’s something more than that is not bad either. The important thing is that I, you, Lady Sisse you…….
From afar, I hear Fel’s voice calling for me. I folded the handkerchief and put it inside my chest.
Thinking like that, expecting the day when someday again, like that time, it will be in someone’s hand. Hoping that pure instead of resignation, joy instead of giving up, attraction instead of isolation.
Then I won’t have to see a back like an illusion again.
***
After meeting Sir Halberd in the garden, I stopped strolling around there and tried to soothe my mind by reading books.
In fact, small amusements like sitting in a chair in a light chemise, drinking tea while reading a book, were not such boring things.
Of course, I also engaged in various activities such as taking a nap when feeling tired or eating light snacks, but mostly it was reading, and if not that, I practiced embroidery with Marie.
When I got tired of such activities, I would smell the fragrance of flowers that Marie picked early in the morning, look for dresses that match them, or play pranks by spraying perfume and washing hands and feet.
I put effort into forgetting the incident in the garden, and it seemed almost successful.
Therefore, the letter from Princess Irene that arrived around this time was enough to make me happy. Having returned to her residence, she wanted to share girlish sentiments with me by sending copperplates depicting the currently popular dresses and shoes.
It was to show off herself who will soon debut in society, and at the same time to boast her elegant taste. There was also a hidden intention to increase her followers through such exchanges.
[To the dear Lady Sisse.
I hope you don’t think it’s funny that I am standing in front of a bureau decorated with shells (a desk with a flat surface) writing a letter.
This elegant taste desk often embarrasses me with my mother’s taste. I like more delicate and beautiful furniture.
How is your body? Is the loyal knight of the Wischwaltz family healthy? I still laugh a little when I think of that time.
You were more aristocratic and elegant than your stepsister. The appearance at that time, overturning everyone’s expectations with a calm yet polite tone, was dazzling to the point of being enchanting. Therefore, I think very happily of writing a letter to you like this.
I will soon debut in society. So there are many things to prepare these days. From dresses and parasols, shoes and jewels, merchants visit the house every morning and tire me out until evening.
There is no time to read books. Playing instruments and singing is also not allowed. It’s to the extent that it’s admirable not to faint collapsed on the lead herpo (a sofa with a backrest on only one side).
I am just enduring by looking at elegant gold embroidery fabric and lace with beautifully ripened flowers, delicately tilted feather decorations. I am sending together copperplates with designs of currently popular dresses and shoes. I hope you enjoy them together.
Looking forward to the day we meet again,
Irene de Divengel.]
Marie did not forget to let out a scream mixed with ecstasy while looking at the copperplates sent by Princess Irene.
Seril also glanced at the copperplates and revealed a gaze full of admiration. As designs sent to the duke’s residence, the drawings in the flat plates were very lively as if they would pop out soon, and there was an indescribable splendor.
“When the young lady debuts in society, you will also choose dresses and shoes while looking at such copperplates, right?”
Marie could not hide her excited voice while wiping the silver basin with a cloth. Her face was flushed with a light blush.
In fact, around this time, I used to pester my mother to call designers and order dresses indiscriminately. But most of them were close to low-grade items, not just unimpressive but even miserable. It was because of my informal taste.
Nevertheless, my clothes were twice as expensive as what Roena wore. It was because merchants grossly deceived my mother and me, who were blind as bats regarding noble items.
Some maids even committed the sly act of receiving kickbacks from them by introducing such merchants to me.
Looking back, mother clearly wanted to do something more productive rather than ordering dresses and jewels to show off nobility.
You can tell by how she tried to attach a history teacher or etiquette teacher to me, and earnestly requested that I learn to play at least one instrument.
But for the past me, things like dignity or duties as a noble were unnecessary. Just one chocolate in the mouth, one glass of wine, sweet cookies and such were more important.
Far from shedding the vulgarity wrapped around the body, I thought I fulfilled my duty just by slathering on powder. There was no reason to care about other fancy things.
Of course, because of this, there were cases where I often argued with mother. Every time, I would stomp my feet loudly or scream like crazy to scare you. Without even knowing what I needed the most.
Now, Madame de Lavallier was providing the aristocratic education that the past mother so desired. Therefore, arguments over such cases disappeared.
But mother seemed to think that since my learning was much later than other young ladies, I need to learn more things.
So by finding other external parts that Lavallier has not yet paid attention to, she tried to prove her own value.
I thought that was not a bad thing, so I just observed. But if I had known in advance that mother would commit the bold act of bringing a prostitute from the back alley into the Wischwaltz mansion, I would have earnestly dissuaded and refused.
In fact, calling a prostitute into the mansion was not surprising. Rather, it could be called common. That being so, how many young ladies my age have not received sex education from a prostitute.
However, mother should have acted at least when Madame de Lavallier left the Wischwaltz family. Even to avoid receiving glares from her.
Unfortunately, mother committed the atrocity of calling the prostitute into my bedroom. It was because excessive zeal overcame rational thinking. Thanks to that, I could face ‘Perinuel’ who was standing seductively with a strange smile as if expecting.
“Nice to meet you, you can call me Perinuel.”
Her lips were still bright red. The breasts gathered with force were swollen as if trying to escape the hem of the clothes. The hair naturally flowing down to slightly cover the nape was coiled like a snake’s and also seductive enough to not be able to take eyes off.
The black silk dress was a very ascetic color for a prostitute to wear, but when she wore it, it looked like an incomparably vulgar and lewd dress in the world.
“Oh, many noble young ladies receive very secret education around this time. And I have quite excellent talent in that area. So you will never be disappointed.”
I knew that someday I would receive education about sex and men through a prostitute or an old maid. It is also a duty. But I did not think I could meet Perinuel so easily like this.
Originally, my plan was to receive education through the prostitute designated by the family, and then call him as if I learned about ‘Perinuel’ from her.
Therefore, this kind of unplanned meeting was not welcome or pleasant. Even more so if I think about the wrath Madame Lavallier will show.
I sat on the sofa with a displeased expression. Seeing mother’s face smiling as if satisfied, I didn’t know what to say.
“Shall we start then?”
Perinuel smiles. Then, with chin lifted, she started walking one step at a time while shaking her hips. As if to say pay attention to her.
