Episode 23
But that was all. Even though he was smiling pleasantly, throughout, the vigilance like ‘What is this guy trying to do to me?’ did not disappear.
One of the many lessons my past experiences gave me is that there is no such thing as a ‘fateful encounter.’
Especially if the other person is someone attractive enough to enchant others, it was even more so.
In high society, ‘fate’ is a well-manipulated plan, and falling in love at first sight has the same meaning as finding a puppet worth using.
Therefore, due to the attention of those around, I had no choice but to take his hand, but I did not think that the goodwill shown by Vitraice Theodore was all there was to him.
But he revealed nothing until we reached the building where the lady’s room was. He maintained a consistent attitude as if he had met me by chance and escorted me as a gentlemanly duty, and he kept his politeness.
Afterward, as he said goodbye, he kissed the back of my hand, and his eyes folding like a half-moon were so charming that I couldn’t take my eyes off them. It was no wonder that groans erupted like mushrooms among the ladies standing around.
Was that why? I was off guard for a moment. Because I was complacently thinking that soon I would part with him and enter the lady’s room to rest.
That’s why I committed the folly of not immediately catching the words he muttered like a whisper. Foolishly!
“Ah, come to think of it, the furniture by the craftsman Benjamin Choiseul is indeed beautiful. Thanks to that, my eyes were opened. I send praise to the young lady’s astonishing discernment. Then, rest comfortably.”
Having finished speaking, he turned his body with an elegant motion and suddenly disappeared somewhere. I couldn’t even think of grabbing him, unable to collect my wits from the unexpected words suddenly thrown at me.
Benjamin Choiseul? Opened eyes? Benjamin Choiseul?! Benjamin Choiseul of the Red Bird Workshop? That man who is still close to obscurity?
The furniture craftsman who wouldn’t have come out into the world if not for Madame de Châteauroux? Wait a minute, what else did he say? ‘Thanks to’?
For a moment, as I chewed over his words, I forgot that the place I was standing was the lady’s room near the exposition, and that numerous noble ladies were resting there, and I recklessly dashed out.
Toward the direction where Vitraice Theodore had disappeared.
The only time I mentioned Benjamin Choiseul was in the letter I sent to Madame de Châteauroux. Other than that, I had never mentioned Benjamin Choiseul even once.
……Is it speculation? No. Even if Vitraice likes sponsoring others, so one could think he discovered him by chance, he clearly threw the words ‘thanks to’ at me. So that means,
“Did he read the letter that went to Châteauroux? But how?”
With a dazed expression, I stared at the street where the man had disappeared, now without even a trace left. At the same time, trembling with the fear overwhelming my body, I bit my lips.
The very fact that he said such words indicates some ‘intention,’ but I couldn’t even dare to guess his true meaning. Rather, due to speculations I couldn’t be sure of, my head was all dizzy.
Theodore Vitraice, how did you read that letter? And the reason for telling me that? What are you thinking? What are you planning!
Suddenly, the conversation I had with him before came to mind.
‘Are you confessing that you are a dangerous person?’
‘If so, would you shake off this hand you’ve taken?’
‘No. I would pull it closer. Because I don’t fear danger or anything. What I shake off are only things that don’t benefit me.’
An unexpected future that the previous me had never experienced is extending its dark hand to grab me. No, it was opening its huge mouth wide to swallow me in one bite. It was a terribly mind-numbing terror.
***
“……Sisse. Sisse!!”
A low voice mixed with some irritation wakes me up. The reverie disappears, and the surrounding scenery begins to enter my eyes.
It was becoming clearer little by little, like light reaching into the darkness. In that fleeting moment, having barely regained my senses, I discovered Madame de Lavallier looking at me with a stern expression and swallowed dryly.
Oh, heavens! To commit such rudeness.
I seem to have gone quite wrong. To space out during teatime where she is present. Unless mad, who would commit such a stupid act.
Due to tension, my aching spine was already drenched with cold sweat.
“You’ve been strange all day today. Wandering around lost in thought. Are you unwell? But this pitiful sight, I can’t bear to watch it. Although a pitiful appearance due to pain is one of the virtues of beauty a lady should have, failing to regain composure with such an unsightly expression will only become a blemish that will be talked about by gossips.”
“I will engrave your precious words in my heart and not forget them.”
At my words that were excessively polite, Madame de Lavallier’s expression finally subsides. But the displeasure remains, as the wrinkles between her brows show no sign of smoothing out.
After the encounter at the exposition, I led a very busy life. No, I tried hard to lead one. I tried not to think by moving my body without rest. Otherwise, I felt like I wouldn’t be able to maintain my sanity, enveloped in unknown fear.
But frustratingly, the last words of Young Lord Vitraice were firmly lodged in my mind and showed no intention of coming out.
It would poke its head out whenever a moment of leisure arose and echo like a reverberation. It became a solid leash, strangling my neck. To the extent that I missed the foolish me of the past.
The me back then, though dull, did not act like a coward. I didn’t know if the sun would rise tomorrow or if it would rain, but I didn’t suffer imagining a miserable future that might be drawn from that.
I was recklessly brave and groundlessly spirited. Certainly not ladylike for a noble young lady, but I didn’t lose my wits fearing something that might or might not be—grand or not.
So how could I not blame myself? This stupid appearance is not the Sisse I dream of. Nor is it the ‘beast worth educating’ that Madame Lavallier expects.
“We’ll have to stop here for today.”
In the end, Lavallier clicks her tongue low with a displeased expression and closes the book. Of course, reproach toward me seeps from that trivial action.
I swallowed a sigh and bowed my head. Right now, we are sitting in a lush green garden, taking a rest under the pretense of reading.
This was at Madame’s invitation, and gathering together under a large tree, spreading out seats, and reading books was one of the small pleasures noble ladies enjoy.
Short shadows are cast under the densely hanging branches, and the beautifully planted small flowers around emit a rich fragrance whenever shaken by the wind. Seated within that are ladies reading books.
Among them, older ladies boast their experience and knowledge through this time, and girls listen attentively to their words, indirectly experiencing the world they will encounter in the future.
Isn’t it truly a taste that suits Madame de Lavallier palate?
The reason I am seated with Lavallier today was also to enjoy such small amusement.
Madame de Lavallier loved books very much. Especially the smooth resonance given by words flowing through a woman’s throat—audible when reading letters.
There would be no lady who loves books as much as her. There was even a rumor that the books Madame de Lavallier possesses are comparable to the royal palace library.
The reason Madame sponsors young artists and shows a generous attitude toward literati was because of this.
「What can be said to be a more beautiful resonance on earth than song is undoubtedly the voice flowing out when women read books.」
There was no lady as sensitive to voice and pronunciation as Madame de Lavallier. Because reading is also a basic virtue a lady should have.
How smoothly the pronunciation rolls when reading a sentence, whether the inflection is appropriate, whether the balance of speed and pitch is excellent, and so on.
When dealing with a lady reading a book, she determined the level of cultivation based on the above evaluation factors.
Therefore, it was natural that she tried hard to erase the remnants of the back alley days that had not yet been wiped from my body.
One of them was pronunciation and intonation, and she often took me to the patronage garden and made me read thick books completely. Most of the books you chose were poetry collections written by foreign literati.
They were mixed with quite difficult letters or ancient words that were a bit tricky to pronounce, often embarrassing me.
In fact, my pronunciation and intonation were quite good. Probably not falling behind even compared to Roena. But when it came to me, Madame’s standards were high, and I always failed to satisfy her. Not even once.
It was due to remarkably strict criteria. I thought it was because I grew up in the back alleys. This ‘prejudice’ was making her drive me hard.
Was that why? Whenever I mispronounced even a little or raised my voice, you scolded me mercilessly with a stern voice. It was sharp enough to evoke deep rebellion, shattering my patience—already cracked and about to crumble—several times.
Thanks to that, I was able to gradually erase the remnants of the dirty little girl who ran barefoot in the back alleys, which I myself didn’t know about. Lavallier was not a good teacher but an excellent educator.
As I and Lavallier rise from our seats, the maids standing around straighten the wrinkled skirt hems. Some fold the seats spread on the floor and lift the books.
Lavallier’s eyes, who was silently standing receiving their attendance, turn to the maid straightening my skirt hem. To be precise, her gaze must have gone to the bizarre appearance with most of the skin wrapped in coarse cloth.
“A lady must always show only a beautiful appearance. The reason the appearance of the maid attending must be neat is for that reason.”
“She injured her body due to slipping on the stairs. It’s not due to what you’re worrying about, so don’t be displeased. Isn’t that right, Seril?”
At my words, the maid who had finished straightening the skirt and was standing behind me, Seril, raises her head and quietly answers in a small voice.
“Yes.”
Between the reddened eye rims, terrified pupils are shaking, and the lips with red scabs are trembling faintly due to slight convulsions. It was another form named ‘resignation.’
I smiled contentedly at Seril’s appearance, who had become obedient like a reined horse. And I quickly spoke to Lavallier, who was alternately looking at me and Ceryl as if gauging something.
“Is there no other teaching?”
Lavallier clicks her tongue low and turns her body. With your sharp observational skills, you must have noticed that my words are false, but since a maid’s matter is not something for her to interfere in, she had no choice but to let it go even if displeased.
“Let’s go in and have tea. I heard good tea has come in. I need to taste what kind of tea it is.”
“Yes.”
I followed behind her, swallowing the laughter that was about to burst out. Somehow, it seemed like at this time, I could forget about Young Lord Vitraice.
