Episode 22
Did she like my answer?
Her face softened a bit and began to relax like a spring breeze. It was quite contrasting with the surrounding people who were mocking my answer.
“Oh, so?”
“It lacks sophistication, but if she continues to learn, she might become a decent painter. She seems talented.”
“Do you like this painting?”
“I might be considered rude, but I will answer no.”
“Why?”
“I like paintings with integrity. I mean those by people who can paint in their own way.”
“That means this painting doesn’t contain the painter’s philosophy? Can you discern a painter’s style?”
I spoke in a polite voice.
“Isn’t that why you brought this girl here to acquire such insight? I just felt that this painting is for show. Perhaps my ignorance has become a nuisance?”
“……Impudent thing.”
Madame de Lavallier wanted me to have the character and knowledge befitting the Wischwaltz family, while on the other hand, she hoped I would have shortcomings that she could reprimand and correct.
Because the strange pleasure of educating a young girl close to a beast into a lady fascinated her.
To her, I am a tool that confirms her abilities and at the same time merely an amusement that brings vitality to her life. So, I have no choice but to lie flat and gently cater to her whims like this.
“Yes, you’re right. Most of the paintings exhibited here are just fakes to find patrons. A fine lady should know how to find the real one among such paintings. You have quite a sharp eye for someone who seems unassuming.”
I bowed my head deeply as if embarrassed by her praise, as if I didn’t know what to do with the undeserved compliment. While thinking proudly of myself for not letting go of the string of tension even amid the confusion in my mind.
In fact, if I were to describe myself now, I could say I’m like duckweed floating aimlessly on water. No, it might be better to say a reed swaying helplessly in a strong wind.
Because my appearance, crumbling to pieces over a false delusion, is ridiculously pathetic, literally the epitome of a mangy beast.
I was standing there, struggling so hard while fearing a man who shakes the bottom of my abyss with just one name, one glance.
The other person doesn’t know what emotions I’m harboring or with what heart I’m whipping myself. It’s just me alone, measuring this and that, anxiously fretting in a ridiculous manner.
Ah, if I could take out my heart and cut it, even if it shortens my life, I would have cut away all my feelings for you…….
Who was it that said?
[Unrequited love is like a shadow; it’s hard to catch easily, but the more the object of affection shines, the darker it becomes.
Above all, what’s scary about it is that it follows me even when I don’t want it, constantly reminding me of the current reality.
You can’t catch that light. If your light disappears, your heart will vanish futilely like this.
The sad thing is that the only way to erase the shadow is to give up the light entirely.
Ah, can you imagine?
The horrific reality of turning away from my sun.]
Is it because of someone’s voice that I can’t even remember now?
I unknowingly look down at my feet. Has my shadow not disappeared?
Was thinking it was erased just an illusion?
The sunlight pointing to noon is very hot, casting a long shadow beyond the exhibition hall floor. It was a dizzyingly fearful sight. To the extent that I have to suppress the rising scream. Fragments of the past pierce my chest like sharp spears.
So, I desperately tried to maintain my sanity. As if testing the limits of patience, I held onto my scattering mind and smiled and smiled like a doll. Because if I didn’t do this, I felt like I would go mad.
Fortunately, for me like this, Madame de Lavallier’s test was like a ray of light. Her behavior of tirelessly wandering the exhibition and pouring questions on me was a solid rock supporting me.
You must never falter. You’re a beast that shouldn’t collapse over something like this.
The unspoken reproach pouring down with every eye contact was sharp enough to make sweat run down my back.
The gazes of the wildcats prowling around, staring as if to devour me, felt refreshingly like ice water pouring on my crown.
In fact, appearing with a big shot like Madame de Lavallier at the exhibition hall, which can be called a miniature of the social world, means I’m considered a person who can represent her face.
In other words, every single one of my actions is directly linked to her honor. Therefore, I needed to pull myself together more, and I had the heavy responsibility to wisely turn the words and uphold her dignity.
Was it that such thoughts and efforts were not in vain?
Fortunately, the people who initially showed reluctant looks upon hearing my name soon began to hover around, pouring compliments as if honey was smeared on their mouths.
It was natural that respect and praise for Madame de Lavallier, who appeared with me at the exhibition, flowed among them.
“The young lady has remarkably excellent insight and discernment.”
“Your voice is beautiful like a bird singing. My ears are enraptured. I want to hear more of the young lady’s stories. Please spare a little more time.”
Now the sun is hidden behind the top of the building and not visible, and the shadow at my feet has already vanished without a trace.
Roena left Lavallier’s side long ago to find a masterpiece to her taste. Escorting her is Rustein Halberd. He was Roena’s sword, then and now.
***
Dealing with people is difficult, then and now. Examining each individual’s intentions and giving appropriate answers requires seasoned experience.
Fortunately, since the eyes surrounding me now only held ‘curiosity,’ it wasn’t as hard as I thought.
Well, who could mock a girl who appeared with Madame de Lavallier?
But underlying the reverse side of the gazes was the nature of beasts holding their breath to bite the leash, so I couldn’t help but be extremely wary. Because the social world is where one can fall with just one word.
Maintaining sanity amid the endless pouring questions and praises is difficult, but I could endure thanks to Lavallier’s gaze watching me.
She observed my every move like an examiner, and for someone who threw a slender lamb into a pack of starving hyenas, she maintained a very calm attitude.
Her eyes shone sharply as if evaluating even the number of breaths I exhale. Yet, when I was in trouble, she naturally stepped in to divert attention to herself, which was not consideration for me but a sacrifice solely for the honor of the Wischwaltz family, so I couldn’t help but wear a bitter smile.
I thought what I gained from the hellish life of the past was only a few etiquettes and ways to deal with people, but in reality, I was no different from an immature child.
Anyway, thanks to Lavallier’s favor that wasn’t favor, I could catch my breath, and I blankly immersed in thoughts while looking at the receding crowd—Lavallier disappearing with the people as if the test was over.
A sigh was surging in as I thought it was over. I felt utterly exhausted and wanted to sit somewhere and rest. Therefore, if it weren’t for him who approached me to speak, I might have really done so.
“You must be the young lady of Wischwaltz.”
Somehow a voice that seems unfamiliar yet very familiar. I turned my head to confirm the owner of the voice. The man in neat formal attire holding a jeweled cane was Theodore Vitraice.
As if he had hidden somewhere the playboy vibe he showed in the second meeting, he was unabashedly flaunting the unique beauty and elegance of a man.
Was the immature appearance at that time due to alcohol? I had to swallow the laughter about to burst at the sight of him politely greeting in a kind yet soft voice.
“You must be the young lord Vitraice.”
“Yes. Have you been well since then? I wonder if my greeting has disturbed the young lady’s contemplation.”
“No, that’s not it. I was just about to move seats.”
“Then, I dare to ask, would you grant me the honor of escorting the young lady?”
His appearance bowing and extending his hand was picturesque in beauty. The words flowing softly were very polite, and the subtle gaze toward me was dizzyingly attractive.
From the dangerous appearance exuded in the first meeting, the playboy vibe in the second, to the current elegant appearance, he was truly a person with a thousand faces.
Therefore, an ordinary young lady would have readily accepted his proposal without hesitation. Even now, passing women are each stopping their steps to look at him, so what more is there to say.
But I hesitated in answering. It was because of the sense of incongruity felt from him.
“If it’s because of the rudeness at that time, I can promise that such a thing won’t happen again. So please don’t shame my hand.”
“Oh, it’s not because of that. I’m just tired. But I was in trouble not knowing how to tell the young lord due to lack of eloquence. I had no intention of shaming the young lord.”
My intuition was telling me. If I stay with this guy, my tone will surely rise, and eventually, I’ll growl with bared teeth like a wounded beast.
As in the first meeting, the man and I had an excellent talent for tautening each other’s nerves.
But Theodore Vitraice’s insensitivity—I’m not sure if it’s real—had the power to shame the opponent. Whether he completely failed to understand the intent in my words, he urged me in a nonchalant tone—like a child begging to buy bread.
The slightly earlier manly appearance had disappeared somewhere, and he was again showing a boyish innocent air. As if not feeling shame in his attitude.
“Yes, I know too. That the young lady won’t make me a shameful man. So, would you please take my hand?”
His beaming face shone delicately like a sculpture crafted by god, but conversely, it had the power to arouse the opponent’s anger.
His hand was already floating in the air for several seconds, attracting everyone’s attention—especially the women’s. If I leave in this situation, I’ll become a rude and shameless girl who doesn’t know how to respect others.
I swallowed dryly at the stinging gazes pouring on my back and forced a smile. As if unable to bear the ecstasy of my smile, I slowly bowed my head and answered shyly.
“Then, just for a moment, please.”
Contrary to the expectation that he would tire me out, young lord Vitraice’s attitude became very gentlemanly again like the first time.
He was a man who knew how to create pleasant melodies with his voice. His tone speaking various things in a low voice was low and soft like a lullaby. It was even sweet as if seducing.
Is that why? Though it was trivial chit-chat, I couldn’t help but lend an ear to his words. To the extent of knowing his trivial daily life, like how he likes sponsoring people, has a lot of interest in art, and attends every time the exhibition is held.
The conversation mixed with light jokes and cheerful wit made the mood comfortable. From matching steps to the trivial things, his attitude sparing no careful consideration was excellent.
His escort was so excellent as to be satisfying, as if proving that taking his hand was the best choice I could make.
