More Than Coincidence, Fate (7)
The space in front of the bed distorted slightly.
Then light spread out and gathered again and again, becoming a shape like a lump of clay mashed together at random.
【You kept muttering for me to wait! I thought my ears were going to fall off!】
The Lump puffed itself up and shrank down repeatedly, giving off a strangely sulky air.
“So you were listening after all.”
【After terrorizing my mind that much, that’s what you have to say?】
Even at the Lump’s indignant words, Jung Hee-sung did not care.
After taking several deep breaths, Jung Hee-sung spoke in a trembling voice.
“I have a favor to ask you.”
The Lump, which had been moving around busily, stopped at Jung Hee-sung’s words.
“One week from now, save Do-hyun.”
At those words, the Lump floating in midair let out a long, thoughtful hum.
【The small human is like that, and the not-small human is like that too. Neither of you knows how precious your own life is.】
Jung Hee-sung gave a faint laugh.
There was no way that was true.
It had only been a moment ago that he had held the violin he had not touched for an entire year.
The heat of that moment was still vivid.
When the Lump said he could live, he had even pictured a future with his younger sibling.
He had also thought that perhaps the moment he had longed for, a life different from the one he had lived until now, might finally come to him.
There was no way he would not feel the greed to live.
And yet,
He says he has nothing to lose. That little kid.
The fact that he had nothing to lose because he had never properly had anything in the first place made him so angry he felt like he would go mad.
He felt as if he would not be satisfied unless he placed something, anything, into those small hands and saw a lingering attachment remain on that child’s face.
“There’s no way my life isn’t precious to me. Even now, I feel like I’m dying because I want to take back what I said…. But I’ve lived a little longer, haven’t I? At twenty-eight years old, even just counting the kinds of food I’ve eaten, I’ve probably had far more than him. That little kid has probably never even tried fried chicken.”
The Lump focused on the not-small human.
A soul like the sunset at dusk was shining as it rippled.
Like the Milky Way in the universe, like fish beneath the sea, that soul flowed in soft waves, beautiful enough that even the Lump’s gaze was stolen for a moment.
It was only a human soul, and yet it felt as if it were facing the shadow of the sun that covered the whole world.
Humans said that when they saw nature that was too beautiful, they sometimes felt sadness.
The Lump felt as though it could understand that human feeling a little.
“I’ve never once heard him talk about going somewhere to play. That child’s whole world is the hospital. I’ve never seen his parents visit either. Since you said he’s in the same situation as me, well, I can guess.”
Jung Hee-sung’s words cut off.
As if even speaking was painful, a voice that had suppressed its emotions leaked out with difficulty.
“It’s not right for him to die like that.”
It was closer to something he was saying to himself than something he was saying to someone else.
【Even if your souls merge, it won’t be death in the complete sense. In a broader sense, the death of an existence means that a soul loses its nature, but you won’t lose yours. You’ll only be mixed. It’s simply a matter of who holds the initiative.】
Without realizing it, the Lump spoke as if trying to comfort him.
For an existence that did not interfere in the major affairs of life, it was an extremely unusual thing.
At the same time, as one who governed life, perhaps it was only natural.
【Pieces of your life will flow into the small human. It could be called change, not death.】
At those words, Jung Hee-sung let out a small laugh.
“Yeah. If it means living together with the little kid, that doesn’t sound too bad.”
It’s not like I’m a Transformer.
I never thought I’d end up combining with someone at this age.
Jung Hee-sung, who had been muttering softly, burst into laughter as if something about it was so funny.
After stopping his laughter, Jung Hee-sung looked straight at the Lump with a face that had become firmer than before.
“So. Can you grant my request?”
【For me, that side is more convenient. Your soul has already scattered too much, so honestly, it would be a little difficult to fix.】
“Haha, really? That’s good, then. I’ll be able to let go of a little more lingering attachment.”
Saying that, Jung Hee-sung smiled as if he felt relieved.
The Lump, watching Jung Hee-sung, spoke impulsively.
【Not-small human. What is your name?】
“I thought someone like you would at least know my name.”
【A name is fleeting, and at the same time, extremely powerful. It holds the power to define an existence, so I cannot carelessly know a name.】
At those words, Jung Hee-sung became a little confused as to whether it was all right to say his name.
Then he realized that, in any case, he only had one week left.
Being careful and staying on guard were things one could only do when there was still time left.
Thinking self-mockingly, Jung Hee-sung opened his mouth.
“It’s Jung Hee-sung. My name.”
The moment the Lump heard those words, it shook violently.
The world held its breath.
It lowered itself and hovered around that small Lump.
Jung Hee-sung felt as if the thing he had merely thought of as a strange lump was swelling endlessly into something enormous.
Even though it was still only the size of two of his fists pressed together, he had the illusion that its existence had covered all of him.
Something filled him completely, and an indescribable fullness took control of his body.
The Lump had said it was not a god.
But if one were to meet a god,
Would it feel like this?
【Jung Hee-sung. I shall give you a final gift.】
The Lump’s voice did not echo in his head, but somewhere deeper.
Yes, it dug into his soul.
At that shocking sensation, Jung Hee-sung’s body trembled.
【For the time you have left, I will stop the time of your soul.】
It was a voice filled with a strange power.
The sensation of facing something that should never be faced was terribly ecstatic and, at the same time, horrifying.
Unable to handle what was swelling inside him, his breathing grew rough, and tremors ran through his entire body.
Just as Jung Hee-sung’s eyes were about to roll back, the pressure that had filled the hospital room disappeared in an instant.
【Well then! Enjoy the rest of your life in a fun way!】
Returning to its frivolous voice, the Lump bounced a few times and disappeared before Jung Hee-sung could say anything.
The world regained its original flow.
Jung Hee-sung let out the breath he had been holding.
He clutched the corner of the bed and retched, but nothing came up from inside him.
Do-hyun had been out since early morning, pacing in front of the hospital room for a long while.
The nurses, seeing the young boy repeatedly grab and release the doorknob without going inside, spoke to him.
But Do-hyun, worried that the sound might leak into the room, only repeated in a small voice that it was nothing.
The moment Do-hyun grabbed the doorknob once more,
Bang—
The door suddenly opened, and Do-hyun froze.
Jung Hee-sung was standing there at a crooked angle, looking down at Do-hyun as if he found him ridiculous.
“I was waiting forever to see when you’d come in. If I left you alone, you looked ready to stand there until the next day.”
“…You knew?”
“Yeah. Your footsteps are quiet, so I can tell right away.”
“What?”
Wouldn’t quiet footsteps make it harder to tell?
Do-hyun felt that it was a little strange, but he was not tactless enough to argue about that right now, so he simply nodded and accepted it.
“Don’t keep standing there. Come in.”
Jung Hee-sung stepped aside.
Do-hyun hesitated with a slightly awkward air, then stepped into the hospital room.
Seeing Do-hyun watching his mood like a child standing as punishment, Jung Hee-sung let out a dry laugh.
“If you’re going to be that scared, why did you do something that would make you scared in the first place?”
“I’m s-sorry.”
Looking down at Do-hyun’s small head, Jung Hee-sung’s expression became complicated for a moment.
I also deceived the little kid and acted however I wanted. Honestly, I’m the one who should be asking for forgiveness right now.
As he looked at the little kid, who knew nothing and was carefully watching his mood, all kinds of emotions rushed over him.
When no answer came back for a long while, Do-hyun lifted his head nervously.
Before Do-hyun’s gaze could reach him, Jung Hee-sung quickly fixed his expression.
Fortunately, Do-hyun did not notice.
“Hyung, I’m sorry.”
Jung Hee-sung, whose throat had tightened slightly, cleared his throat a couple of times.
Then, in a voice a little softer than before, he said,
“From now on, don’t try to give up your life so easily. Got it?”
He knew he had no right to say such a thing.
Because he had treated his own life more lightly than anyone else.
But when the little kid tried to give up his life, his insides twisted so badly that he could not bear it.
Meanwhile, Do-hyun could not answer easily.
This isn’t a problem of whether I give up or not. Hyung heard it yesterday too…. In the end, someone has to die. And that person….
However, he did not carelessly let out the thoughts inside his head.
He simply nodded obediently like a child who listened well.
At Do-hyun’s reaction, Jung Hee-sung’s coldly stiffened face softened.
“One week from now, let’s ask one more time if there’s no other way. There might be a method, right?”
It was a gentle voice, like usual.
Without realizing it, Do-hyun asked back,
“What if there isn’t?”
“If there isn’t….”
Jung Hee-sung smiled with a playful face.
Because it was so no different from his usual self, Do-hyun blinked.
“We’ll think about it then.”
It was an irresponsible thing to say.
For a matter involving both their lives, it was also far too light an attitude.
But Do-hyun actually felt relieved by that side of Jung Hee-sung.
The death that had felt so close until just moments ago seemed to move farther away.
“Anyway, even if we worry about it now, we won’t come to any conclusion. Then instead of wasting time and suffering in both body and mind for nothing, wouldn’t it be better to play as much as we can?”
Do-hyun’s face gradually brightened along with Jung Hee-sung’s.
In any case, death had always been by Do-hyun’s side.
He had heard countless times that today was the critical point.
Of course, the situation back then was a little different from this.
Death was frightening.
The thought that there might not be a next day was a fear that chilled him to the heart.
No matter how used to it one became, death was something no one could truly get used to.
Do-hyun reached out his hand.
Seeing Do-hyun’s hand reaching toward his, Jung Hee-sung wrapped that hand in his without hesitation.
Warmth spread from the tips of his fingers.
But hyung is beside me.
At that moment, Do-hyun realized that even a fear so unbearable and terrifying could be endured more easily than expected if there was someone holding his hand.
Do-hyun smiled gently.
Do-hyun and Jung Hee-sung giggled.
Do-hyun thought of the note he had left on his hospital bed.
[I’m going for a walk. I might be late.]
Had they found the note by now?
Or had they still not found it?
When he returned, Kaylee and Helia’s scolding would be waiting for him, but,
Who cares?
If that was enough to let him play for a whole day, then it was fine.
Do-hyun was gradually starting to resemble Jung Hee-sung’s reckless side.
Do-hyun and Jung Hee-sung were wearing ordinary clothes, not patient gowns.
Do-hyun did not know how he had gotten them, but the clothes he wore were ones Jung Hee-sung had brought.
Do-hyun felt happy in everyday clothes he was wearing for the first time in a very long while.
The black pants, the soft white sweater, and the coat that came down to his calves might have been nothing more than ordinary clothes to someone else.
But to Do-hyun, they were more special than anything.
Do-hyun’s chest swelled with anticipation.
“Are you looking forward to it that much?”
“Yes! Of course!”
Excited, Do-hyun answered in a bright voice.
That morning,
Do-hyun and Jung Hee-sung, who had dramatically reconciled, agreed to spend the remaining days as fully as possible.
And the first thing they planned was to go to a theater near the hospital and watch a play.
It was a plan made for Do-hyun, but Jung Hee-sung, who would be watching a play for the first time in a long while, was secretly excited too.
Do-hyun’s eyes sparkled as he came to a theater for the first time.
People passing by smiled when they saw Do-hyun like that.
Do-hyun swung the hand he was holding with Jung Hee-sung.
“Hyung! Hyung! The theater is huge!”
“You’re right. I didn’t know it would be this spacious.”
Because they had not made a reservation in advance, they had no choice but to choose from what they could watch right now.
Even though there were not many options, Do-hyun still had a happy smile spread across his face.
Holding the tickets in his hand, Do-hyun headed toward the performance hall and swung their joined hands once more.
“Hyung! Hyung! The performance hall is really small!”
Was it because the performance was not popular?
There were not many seats, and the performance hall itself was small.
He might have been disappointed, but Do-hyun only seemed fascinated by it, his eyes shining.
Watching Do-hyun rejoice over every tiny thing, Jung Hee-sung wore a gentle smile, as if infected by that joy.
Do-hyun and Jung Hee-sung went and sat in the second row from the front.
People who had trickled in here and there filled the seats, and an announcement rang out saying the performance would begin in ten minutes.
Unable to calm his overflowing heart, Do-hyun swung his two feet that did not reach the floor.
Then, as the performance hall went dark, he drew in a sharp breath.
The play Do-hyun and Jung Hee-sung watched was the story of a country girl who stepped into the city for the first time.
The story was ordinary, and the actors’ performances were not bad.
Jung Hee-sung evaluated it as a fairly watchable play.
Do-hyun, on the other hand, was helplessly pulled into the world unfolding before his eyes.
Because it was his first time seeing someone act, the performance itself was a shock.
The actors’ faces changed freely, their voices were full of life, and even the sound of their breathing felt vivid and present.
Do-hyun’s heart pounded fiercely.
So this is a play.
Until the performance ended, he took in every scene with his eyes as if carving it into his mind.
Seeing Do-hyun stare at the stage without looking away for even a single moment, Jung Hee-sung, sitting beside him, unknowingly held his breath too.
