“If you told him even one thing you wanted to do once your revenge is finished, I don’t think he’d worry so much.”
“…”
“What if you told him you’re at least a little willing to come back to an ordinary life someday?”
The male lead looked thoroughly thrown by my question.
“I never let myself think about that on purpose.”
“Can I ask why?”
“…I was afraid it would soften my resolve.”
Something like, you have to hold onto the poison to actually reach your goal?
“Hm. But even just one really small thing, wouldn’t that be all right?”
“…”
“Having something you want to do once everything’s finally resolved might give you strength, too.”
Not quite the same as years of carefully nursed revenge, but.
Once, I found out a teammate I’d trusted had been talking behind my back, and I ended up standing at the edge of a river with my feet in the water.
The water had been cold, and the lights reflected on the surface looked like they’d go on being beautiful forever, whether I was there to see them or not, that night.
And I…
realized there was still so much shimmering night and radiant day I hadn’t seen yet, and I walked back out of the water.
There was still too much beauty in the world I didn’t know yet, to let myself be buried under the wounds life handed me.
Ha, and that’s exactly why I was going to quit and start a new life. Instead I just died in an accident anyway.
The male lead studied me for a while, then asked, quietly.
“Something you want to do… like what, for instance?”
“Oh, just anything small, really. Like, once I resign — no, once your revenge is finished, going on a trip somewhere.”
“A trip…”
“Like living somewhere slow and easy in a pretty seaside town for a hundred days, say.”
“…”
“Finding a regular little café there, sitting in the same seat every day, drinking coffee while I watch the ocean.”
I found myself rambling on, more and more excited.
It was exactly what I’d originally planned to do after resigning, so the more I talked about it, the more my spirits lifted.
“…And eating melon-flavored ice cream, too?”
“Oh, exactly! Wait, what?”
Huh? Why would he say that, out of nowhere…?
And why was he smiling like that?
[Melon flavoor… I love melon flavoor so much…]
The memory of my own drunken rambling surfaced all at once, and the breath caught in my throat.
“Ah…! Ah!”
“Ha.”
Was the male lead actually teasing me about my drunk self, right now?
Even so, thankfully, his expression had loosened up considerably since we’d set out.
Far more relaxed than even the first time he’d knelt and made me that promise.
I found this version of him much easier to be around.
“Right. Like you said, having one or two things in mind wouldn’t hurt.”
“R— right? It’d probably even help with the job, I’d think… sir.”
I already felt as drained as if I’d finished an entire day’s work.
Good grief, using my brain this hard before I’ve even clocked in.
With the mood a little softer now, I looked at the male lead with a hopeful gleam in my eye.
“So, senior. If I’m a little late today, the Minister will let it slide, right?”
“Probably.”
“Yes!”
“Though it’ll cost you on your performance review.”
“…”
…At that thoroughly realistic remark, I just quietly stared out the window instead.
In the morning sunlight, the palace rooftops gleamed a translucent gold.
Which is to say, it was gorgeous, and also, this job was garbage.
I want to resign and I haven’t even clocked in yet.
And once I did finally resign, for real this time, I was absolutely taking that trip I’d sworn to myself right before I died.
I’d waste all the time I wanted at some beautiful seaside café.
Never having to dread getting up early the next morning…
I’d get to enjoy the sheer happiness of waking up whenever I felt like it, alarm-free.
After clocking in.
Carlyle was in a meeting with Edgar, just the two of them.
His absence from the last one, thanks to his juniors, had thankfully gone unremarked.
But he frowned and put a question to Edgar.
“Why did Prime Minister Halifax call you in last night?”
“Apparently suspicious movement’s been spotted from the Imperial family’s side.”
“The Imperial family…?”
“Whatever’s gotten into them, they’ve suddenly started taking a real interest in state affairs.”
They kept pressing about the kidnapping case too, apparently — the Prime Minister had told him to be careful.
Carlyle’s brow furrowed.
“Now that you mention it, they gave some strange orders while Rowell and Finley were touring the office, too.”
<Confirm the trend in black magic artifact incidents over the past three months by this evening.>
At the time, he’d assumed it was just some higher-up throwing their weight around to remind everyone they still existed.
“But Rupesk, apparently they’re attending the welcome banquet for the new officials.”
“…Meaning.”
The Imperial family hadn’t attended a single banquet hosted by officials in years.
For them to suddenly show their faces again meant the Imperial Faction and Noble Faction were about to go to open war.
Unsettling, that it’s happening right at this particular time.
While Carlyle sat lost in thought, Edgar narrowed his eyes.
“Ah, but Rupesk.”
“What is it.”
“Hmm, what exactly happened with Miss Rowell?”
“…”
“She keeps running around loose in that head of yours.”
A vein stood out on Carlyle’s jaw.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Every time you think about something right now, Miss Rowell pops right back out, Rupesk.”
“I don’t know what nonsense you’re spouting, Edgar Crowe.”
“No point fighting it. Tell someone not to think about an elephant, and the elephant’s already in their head.”
“…”
Carlyle stared at Edgar, unblinking.
Why does my own superior have to be such a bastard about this.
But unfortunately, there wasn’t a single word of Edgar’s that was actually wrong.
He’d forced himself to focus on the meeting, and the events at the estate kept resurfacing anyway.
Haah, showing Rowell a scene like that.
And in front of Rowell, of all people — someone who’d had to grow up without parents at all — bickering with his own father like that.
That wasn’t very mentor-like of me.
And on top of it all, she’d even comforted him, on the ride back.
[Having something you want to do once everything’s finally resolved might give you strength, too.]
Carlyle had spent his life pruning away anything pleasant or beautiful, cutting it out like dead weight.
Because doing that would help him reach his goal faster.
Which was exactly why he had no idea what he actually liked.
Even trying to imagine ten years from now…
All that stretched out in front of him was empty, black space.
Hearing something like that from Leila wasn’t going to conjure up a desire out of nowhere, not immediately.
And yet…
[Like living somewhere slow and easy in a pretty seaside town for a hundred days, say.]
Leila Rowell, gazing out some seaside café’s window.
The image glowed as brilliant as dew catching the morning light.
Meanwhile, Edgar studied the faint smile that had risen on Carlyle’s face.
What’s gotten into Rupesk.
Something about the feeling bleeding off his thoughts felt different from usual, and Edgar frowned without meaning to.
Light. A blue ocean.
Something cool and sweet.
Edgar turned the feeling over and settled on a conclusion.
That was “hope.”
How unpleasant.
Going soft like that when they should be entirely focused on catching the Seres Order.
At the same time, a flicker of curiosity stirred in him, too.
Just what on earth had they talked about, for something like that to take root in Rupesk overnight?
That was when an urgent presence made itself known just outside the meeting room they were in.
This was a room reserved for high-ranking officials only, and Edgar had personally booked out the whole area besides.
Which meant whoever was causing a commotion out there had to be looking for the two of them.
“Ah, Lumiere.”
His guess turned out to be right.
“It’s been a while. What’s the matter?”
“Huff, huff, good day to you, my lord. Young Grand Duke Rupesk.”
“Showing up without any warning — what’s this about?”
“I— I had something urgent to report, ah!”
Priest Lumiere looked around wildly, flustered.
“Isn’t Miss Rowell with you?”
“You have something to tell Rowell?”
“It’s— it’s about what you asked me to look into before!”
Lumiere’s eyes went wide as he lowered his voice to a whisper.
“I looked into Miss Leila Rowell’s background, and…!”
Tracing her divine power, and the old houses affiliated with the Temple that it might connect to.
The investigation, carried out in careful secrecy, had finally produced a result.
But it was nothing anyone had expected.
