Chapter 9
Two hours ago, Grandpapa decided to cheer me up by taking me out to the garden. Truth be told, I was already basking in the satisfaction of landing a blow against the Empress’s faction, so I didn’t need any cheering up. But my wishes didn’t matter much.
And so, I ended up running around with Grandpapa. There was no avoiding it.
As soon as he set me down in the garden, he declared, “Let’s catch our little puppy!”
When I hesitated to run, he turned to Nanny and the maids, pressing them with, “Is the child seriously hurt or something?” Their flustered expressions left me, at the tender age of three, grappling with the greatest dilemma of my life.
To run or not to run!
In the end, I ran nonstop for two hours. The ordeal only ended thanks to Count Maron, who came to fetch Grandpapa.
Utterly exhausted, barely able to move a finger, I was carried on Grandpapa’s back to his study, where I fell asleep.
In that hazy, half-dreaming state, Great-Aunt Eonel came to visit.
“So, Melly fought with Mintia of House Cherie and won, did she?”
“She was upset from getting hurt, so I took her out to play tag, and she ran so spiritedly.”
…Grandpapa, isn’t something off? Weren’t you the one upset because I got hurt? Did you think I wouldn’t notice you dragging me out to play tag just to watch me scamper around for your amusement?
I wanted to leap up and shout the truth, spilling my heart out. But I was so drained, I couldn’t muster the strength to even twitch the corner of my lips.
“That’s how kids are,” Great-Aunt said.
No, Aunt! That’s not true!
I couldn’t sleep with this injustice gnawing at me. I tried to muster my wits, but it was futile.
As I battled exhaustion, Grandpapa and Great-Aunt continued their conversation.
“You banned Mintia from entering the palace, didn’t you?”
“Of course. It was already improper for a child who hasn’t debuted in high society to roam the palace freely. Letting her in because she’s the Empress’s kin was tolerable once or twice. I turned a blind eye since the Empress invited her, but the marquis doesn’t know his place. I was waiting for an excuse to bar her.”
So, in other words, my little scuffle with Mintia was the perfect opportunity you’d been waiting for? I’m starting to feel a bit wronged here.
As I struggled not to drift off, Great-Aunt came over and tucked the blanket around me.
“Ughhh!”
Even in my groggy state, I nuzzled my cheek against the back of her warm hand, savoring the comfort.
Great-Aunt gently brushed my cheek with her hand, continuing her conversation.
“Father, I’ll be blunt. Please lift Mintia’s palace ban next year.”
Out of nowhere? I could sense Grandpapa tilting his head in confusion, mirroring my own bewilderment.
“Why so suddenly? What’s the reason?”
“I made a deal with the Empress. If Mintia’s ban is lifted next year, she’ll give the Lavender Palace to Melly. Managing the palace’s internal affairs is the Empress’s duty, and assigning a palace technically requires her approval.”
“That’s true…”
In truth, the Empress had long coveted the Lavender Palace for Volter ever since the Crown Prince and his wife passed away. Volter, too, had been pestering his mother to claim it as soon as possible.
But the Empress wanted to handle things cleanly, without stirring trouble. So, she’d delayed until after Volter’s appointment as Crown Prince, confident that he would secure the position.
After all, in their minds, the Crown Prince title was destined for Volter. If he took it, no one could object to him claiming the Lavender Palace. But rushing to hand it to her son right after its previous occupant’s death would look unseemly.
That’s why the Empress had already evicted me from the Lavender Palace but hadn’t moved Volter in yet.
“But here’s the thing,” Grandpapa said. “I have no intention of naming Volter as Crown Prince. So, is there really a need to hasten Mintia’s return just to give Melly the Lavender Palace? If Volter doesn’t become Crown Prince, he won’t easily get the palace either.”
“Even so, she won’t hand it over to Melly willingly. She’d rather leave it empty. After the Crown Prince ceremony, she might grudgingly give it to me, but never to Melly. This way, it’s cleaner.”
Though, knowing Great-Aunt’s personality, that’s probably not the whole story.
The Empress must have swallowed her pride to agree to this deal with her stepdaughter. But what if she realized that something she could never have had was used to toy with her? That would be quite a sight.
Isn’t that what Great-Aunt really wants?
Grandpapa let out a thoughtful “Hmm,” then asked, “So, which palace are you planning to take?”
“Probably the Crystal Palace. Like the previous crown princes who avoided the Lavender Palace due to pollen allergies. The question is whether the Empress will give up the Crystal Palace.”
Great-Aunt spoke calmly.
But something felt oddly off, like I was mishearing in my dreamlike state.
In my previous life, I have no memory of spending my childhood in the Lavender Palace. None at all. Back then, I lived in the West Moon Palace, where I am now, until I was sent to the cold palace.
A pleasant premonition stirred—this future was going to change significantly.
With that, I slipped into dreamland.
In the haze of my consciousness, a voice I’d forgotten amid my new life echoed in my ears.
“Please… do not forgive this humble servant.”
Something sharp and cold pierced my nape.
My eyes fluttered shut.
“This disloyalty will be repaid with my life…”
A chilling sensation enveloped my entire body.
Held in his arms, I felt my consciousness fading. Yet, as if it were a dream, I was acutely aware of my surroundings, like an observer detached from myself.
I could almost see the silver glint of the dagger in my neck.
Its elegant curve, shaped like a dolphin, and the striking blue gem adorning one side of the hilt made it a beautiful blade.
Blood trickled down my neck, warm and metallic. And then, crack!
The blue gem at the dagger’s hilt fractured, shattering into dust.
“Ugh!”
In that instant, I felt my body being sucked forcefully somewhere. It was as if someone was crumpling me up and shoving me through a tiny ring-sized hole, a sensation like my soul was tearing from my body.
“Argh!”
I woke screaming, finding myself on my bed in my room.
Raising my hands before my eyes, I saw tiny, fern-like hands. They moved at my will—undoubtedly my three-year-old hands.
After that nightmare, I couldn’t tell what was reality, what was the past, or what was the future.
My palms and back were drenched in cold sweat.
Nanny scooped me up, cradling me in her arms and gently patting my back.
“Oh, dear, you must’ve had a scary dream. It’s okay, it’s okay.”
Her soothing pats covered my back entirely, warm and comforting. In her embrace, I felt tears welling up.
“I miss Ar.”
What happened to him? After my death, what kind of life did he lead? Was I selfish for dying first?
I ached for him, the one who stayed by my side until the end. Would I even see him in this life?
What if my small actions to change the future meant I’d never see him again?
The incident with Mintia made it clear—my actions could trigger a butterfly effect, unintentionally keeping me from him.
In my previous life, I met Ar by chance at ten, but that wasn’t why he became my guard. I don’t even know how he ended up as my protector—just that the adults assigned him to me.
If I could remember when that chance meeting happened, could I recreate it, pretending it was coincidence? But I can’t recall the exact day—just that it was a sunny day when I skipped history lessons.
If I try to change the future, we won’t meet the same way as in my past life. Could we still forge that same bond?
The thought brought a flood of tears.
“Hic!”
“Oh, my, what a terrifying dream to make you cry so sadly… Shh, it’s just a dream.”
Nanny gently rubbed my back.
Yes, I’ll find Ar.
Another task added to my list.
After dragging on for about a fortnight, the grand hall meetings concluded. The prolonged debate over the Crown Prince position ended with Princess Eonel being named Crown Princess.
As the palace buzzed with preparations for the Crown Princess’s enthronement, one place stood out for its frosty atmosphere: the Empress’s palace.
In the Empress’s tearoom, where a faint herbal fragrance lingered, Kiyen exuded a murderous aura, as if she’d tear someone apart at the slightest provocation. Yet her expression remained eerily calm.
Volter sat before his mother, unable to do anything but squirm with anxiety.
“I just want to get scolded and get it over with.”
He found his mother’s insistence that he become Emperor burdensome. He only wanted to live comfortably as a prince, reveling in his imperial status.
But at some point, his mother began forcing him to study statecraft. She said that as the Empire’s second prince, he needed to learn politics to support his elder brother. She made him read books on governance and statecraft in secret in this very tearoom.
Back then, his elder brother, the Crown Prince, was still alive.
Though not the sharpest, Volter was keenly perceptive when it came to his mother. Perhaps it was the tension he felt in her presence. Even at a young age, he had some inkling of her intentions.
If being a loyal brother supporting his sibling was honorable, why not study statecraft alongside his brother under their father? Why did his mother teach him in secret? Wasn’t it because she was scheming to push his brother aside and place him on the Crown Prince’s seat?
He fully realized this three years after starting those lessons, at thirteen.
Even then, he wasn’t old enough to stand up to his domineering mother or make his own judgments.
But at some point, he began to hope that becoming Emperor as his mother wished might free him from her oppression. Once he accepted her ambitions, it was as if a weight lifted. His mother smiled at him warmly.
She promised to clear all obstacles, asking only that he become Emperor for her sake, making her the Empress Dowager.
Once he embraced her will, the leash tightening his chest loosened, and he could finally breathe.
Everything proceeded smoothly.
One day, as if predestined, his half-brother died in a carriage accident, the truth of which remained unsolved. Volter could guess it was the work of his mother, her natal House of Cherie, and their followers.
No evidence or witnesses remained.
Thus, the Crown Prince’s seat was vacated.
Dizzy with the weight of it all, Volter bit his lip and bowed his head. He cautiously glanced at Kiyen, gauging her mood.
