Chapter 175. Counting Down the Days Until I Meet You
“Brother, do you remember what happened yesterday?”
At that sharp, ringing voice flying across the table, his already-throbbing head seemed to shake even more violently.
Raymond raised a hand and began pressing firmly at his temples.
“Just how much did you drink…… you disappeared all of a sudden without a word, and everyone was so shocked.”
The night before.
Right around when the mood of the ball had been reaching its peak, the Duke, the host himself, had suddenly vanished from sight.
People had thought it nothing more than a brief mishap, but when the Duke still hadn’t appeared even by the time the ball ended, everyone was left utterly bewildered.
Since such a thing had happened at the very occasion meant to introduce his fiancée, it wasn’t hard to imagine what everyone must have been gossiping about on their way home.
“And what about Olivia, on top of that.”
“No, Cecilia. I’m fine.”
Raymond glanced briefly at the two of them, now close enough to call each other by name, before picking up the glass of water in front of him.
Well, it wasn’t as if he couldn’t understand their reaction.
After all, the moment he’d opened his eyes early that morning and remembered the madness of the night before, he himself had immediately scowled in disgust.
He’d thought he was better now, that he’d erased it all completely.
All he’d confirmed, like a fool, was that he was still lingering in the past.
And of all places, right in front of her.
“And after doing that, how could you go straight off to hunt the moment you woke up. Not a single word of explanation, really, you—”
“Cecilia.”
The one who cut off her continuing scolding was none other than Eleonora.
She herself was just as displeased with Raymond’s behavior, but even so, it wasn’t something to bring up at the breakfast table like this.
And given the precarious mood that could erupt at any moment, this intervention now was absolutely necessary.
“As for last night…… I apologize.”
As if to prove that very thought, an apology finally came from Raymond’s tightly closed mouth.
It was a gesture of apology directed at Olivia.
“Oh, no…… you don’t need to worry about it.”
Olivia shook her head in flustered haste, her face full of embarrassment.
Brown lashes lowered shyly as she smiled.
And behind them, those golden glass marbles.
“…..”
The afterimage of a woman, naturally conjured up, had by now become sickening even to himself.
The early-morning hunt had already been scheduled long in advance.
A gathering shared with several nobles.
He’d recklessly downed drink after drink, leaving him in terrible condition, but with only an hour or two left before it began, it wasn’t something he could simply cancel.
If he were honest, he’d thought it was for the best.
There was nothing better than a hunt to drive away all this unpleasantness.
He’d thought that if he could liken the person who’d crawled uninvited into his head and taken up residence there to a piece of prey and fire away like a madman, he’d surely feel better.
No, in fact, by the time the hunt was nearing its end, it really had seemed to be working, to some degree.
If not for the uninvited guest who’d suddenly appeared.
—No, I specifically told everyone not to so much as set foot near the forest today since we’d be hunting at dawn, so how could a woman possibly be here…… and what’s more, a pregnant woman, no less.
As the startled Count’s words drove into his ears, that sight engraved itself vividly into his vision.
That figure, with her belly clearly round and swollen.
At the sight of the woman’s changed appearance—one he’d deliberately tried not to look at, passing by her these past two months, last night included—his vision suddenly burned hot with fury.
Despite the astonished stares directed at him, as if he were looking at a madman, he had gone ahead and pulled the trigger he’d gripped so firmly.
And yet, the woman had stood there with her back straight, never once looking away.
Staring straight at him without so much as a single blink.
It was in that moment that Raymond realized it.
Where it was he had actually wanted to aim that target he’d deliberately angled away from.
That every time he saw that gaze, looking at him with such an unbothered expression, a genuine urge to kill her welled up inside him.
He himself knew this couldn’t go on like this.
He had no confidence he could keep watching, with a sound mind, as the belly of a woman carrying another man’s child kept growing rounder and rounder.
If he truly had no intention of killing the woman with his own hands, if he truly didn’t mean to see her ruin through to the end, then it was time he made a decision now.
Raymond, looking at those transparently shining golden eyes, let out a hollow laugh without even realizing it.
That’s right—what crime had this woman committed, after all.
That she should send him such a passionate gaze, content even with this empty husk of a man.
Not the kind of cold look one gives, as if looking at something already gone, a past already swept away……
Heh, at the low rumble of his laughter, the three people seated at the table all frowned at the same time.
Whatever they thought, Raymond simply kept on laughing like that for quite a while.
* * *
“Deborah, Deborah!”
At the sound piercing her ears, Deborah’s body gave a sudden start.
Watching her blurred gaze slowly come back into focus right before her eyes, Maria’s brow finally creased deeply.
“Are you all right?”
“……Ah, I’m sorry. I just—for a moment—”
Right when she should have been keeping her hands busy, she’d been off in a daze like a fool—there was nothing she could say in her own defense.
Flustered, not knowing what to do.
Maria quietly took hold of Deborah’s hand.
“I think you should just go home and rest today.”
“Ah……no, it’s fine. I’m—”
“It’s not fine with me. Not just because you went and worked in my place yesterday…… but more than anything, because of what happened at the hunting grounds today.”
“…..”
What had happened at the hunting grounds that morning had spread through the farm in no time.
The moment Maria heard about it, she’d come rushing to the cottage and begun checking Deborah all over, asking if she’d been hurt anywhere.
It was only after quite a while that Maria, having confirmed she was all right, breathed a sigh of relief and told her to just rest at the cottage for the day.
It was Deborah who had insisted she was fine, saying she’d merely been a little startled, but Maria clearly didn’t trust that, given how she kept drifting off into a daze.
“It’s not just about you, Deborah—you have to think about the baby too. Goodness knows how frightened the child must have been.”
The moment the subject of the baby came up, she had no strength left to keep resisting.
“So listen to me, all right?”
At Maria gripping both her hands and asking again, Deborah finally nodded and said she would.
“……Yes, I will.”
Back inside the cottage, Deborah went and lay down on the bed, just as Maria had told her to.
Perhaps because of her round belly, even the simple act of lying down on the bed was no longer as easy as it used to be.
After fidgeting this way and that to finally settle into a position, exhaustion began to wash over her, late but heavy.
Just as she closed her eyes slowly, trying to fall asleep—
The events of that morning came rushing back into her mind.
Something she had been desperately trying, again and again, not to recall—what had happened just a few hours earlier.
The sight of him, in that moment, pulling the trigger aimed at her, still remained vivid in her vision.
She recalled Maria’s sigh, saying she should have just turned and left immediately, foolishly, instead of provoking the Duke’s wrath like that, and a faint, helpless laugh escaped her without her realizing it.
Could she really have avoided his anger by doing that?
Those blue eyes, shining even more vividly than the blazing blue flame at the muzzle of the gun.
From that final moment she’d seen at Elfengreen up until now—
Every time she confirmed, moment after moment, the man’s fury directed at her like this, Deborah found herself, despite how painful it was, feeling a strange sense of relief instead.
Even if it was an emotion stained with hatred so fierce it could have killed her, she still felt relief that she remained alive within his heart.
Though every time she realized this about herself, a deep sense of self-disgust washed over her as well.
“…..”
Several months had already passed since the Cheister Duke’s household had moved here.
Since they were a family who relocated according to the season, it meant the time for them to leave this place was now drawing near.
It was the very moment she had been waiting for, and yet……
When she actually pictured how little time remained, a chill settled coldly over a corner of her heart.
How much time was left now, she wondered.
Being able to see that person’s face, even like this……
She had a strange feeling about it, somehow.
A premonition that once the Cheister Duke’s family left Chambrin, that would truly be the very end for the two of them.
Just then, she felt a tiny tap from inside her belly.
Startled, Deborah lowered her hand and slowly stroked her rounded belly.
It really was such a curious thing.
Every time she let herself be swept up in such dark emotions, the child’s movements grew even more vigorous.
As if to let her know of its own existence.
As if to encourage her to take heart.
……Yes, she had a child.
The child of the man she loved was, right now, moving so healthily inside her belly.
So it was all right.
No—it would be all right. Even after he was gone.
Deborah gently stroked her belly, as if soothing the child within.
“My baby…… Mommy is counting down the days until she gets to meet you.”
At those words, spoken softly, the child seemed to answer with a tap against her belly.
At that tender movement, tears welled up in her eyes, somehow—it was just that kind of moment.
☆▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎☆
