Chapter 163. Leaving Here for Another Place
Her raised hand faltered in the empty air, and in the end, it descended back beneath that.
Even though she had already made all decisions, when she actually stood in front of this door, she came to hesitate.
That was not exactly because she regretted the decision she made.
And it was even less because her heart was shaking.
It was merely because her heart was not at ease when she recalled the face of the opponent she would face after hearing these words.
“Whew…….”
Deborah exhaled the breath she inhaled long again.
Right, even if she dragged time any longer, there was nothing that would be good for each other.
Watching each other’s expressions and avoiding like this in an uncomfortable state with each other.
Therefore, that her decision was correct.
Deborah, who thought that way, nodded her head once, and finally knocked on the wooden door in front of her eyes.
Knock, knock.
After the knocking sound echoed twice, a remark telling her to come in was heard from the inside.
Deborah composed her expression once again and turned the handle.
As she opened the door and entered inside, the appearance of Jade sitting in front of the desk entered her vision.
Whether he had been looking at documents, or whether he had been looking at a book, Jade, who had been resting one arm over the desk, suddenly stood up from his place.
As if he hadn’t thought at all that the person entering would be Deborah, those blue eyes wandered here and there in bewilderment.
“Why is Deborah here…… no, on what matter—.”
Jade, who had been standing with a dazed expression for a long while, rambled as he watched Deborah approaching a few steps forward.
To be sure, since this was the first time they were properly facing each other like this since that day they encountered in the garden, it was natural to be flustered.
Deborah slowly opened her mouth.
“I have something to say, can you spare a moment of time?”
“Ah…… then, over…… that way.”
As soon as the remark that she had something to say fell, Jade’s expression flinched for a moment.
Though he tried pointing to the sofa on the opposite side while pretending to be calm, that face looked exceedingly confused.
The two people, who went to the sofa and sat down, were without words for a while.
Neither Deborah, who said she had something to say, nor Jade, who was waiting with a heavily tense face.
After some silence flowed like that, finally Deborah opened her mouth.
“First…… I will give my answer regarding last time first, Jade.”
Though it was the theme most difficult to bring out, even so, the remark she had to make first was that.
The answer regarding the proposal Jade had made.
In an instant, a tight tension hovered between the two people.
“I’m sorry, Jade…….”
What her lips, which had been heaving for a long while, spat out was a short remark of apology, that was all.
The decision she made after thinking thousands of times and thinking again during the past few days.
It wasn’t that she hadn’t thought of words that could lessen the wound, but after thinking it over carefully again, suddenly such a thought occurred.
That the action of attaching useless elaboration might rather make the opponent’s heart even more unpleasant.
That for this kind of refusal, going as plainly and concisely as possible would make that wound lesser.
“Is that, a refusal…… regarding the proposal, I made?”
“……Yes.”
Toward the opponent who asked clearly, Deborah nodded her head with a complicated expression.
And once again, a heavy silence settled.
Watching his heavily frozen face, Deborah postponed the words she had intended to say next for a moment.
Until his heart softened a little more.
“Even if I ask you to think again…… it would be of no use, right.”
“…….”
At those words that came out at the end of a long silence, momentarily she was at a loss for words.
What on earth was she to deserve to have him go this far…….
She felt sorry for Jade who was doing this much, and also she was so deeply sorry that she could not give a positive answer to those words.
Facing her tightly closed mouth, Jade’s eyes began to sink dark.
“……I understand. Deborah’s mind.”
For another while, as if he were thinking of something, an unexpectedly clean answer returned.
A remark that sounded as if he would accept it cleanly and step back.
From Deborah’s mouth, who had been heavily worried wondering what if he adhered to his initial attitude until the end, a sigh of relief flowed out.
It seemed that only now she could say the next words with a level lighter heart.
“Jade.”
At the sound of her calling his name calmly, Jade’s gaze moved toward the front again.
Seeing that the expression that looked uncomfortable somewhere had changed faintly softly, Jade was swept by a peculiar emotion in an instant.
That is to say, what should she call that.
Though it couldn’t be pinched exactly and spoken…… right, such an expression that somehow looked unburdened.
In the midst of pondering carefully what on earth that was due to, again a low voice was heard from the opposite side.
“I, intend to leave here and go to another place.”
Thump—!
At his heart sinking in an instant, Jade could not carry on his words for a while.
Deborah, as if understanding such a Jade, was merely waiting quietly for the words that would come out of Jade’s mouth.
The moment his gaze that was shaking frantically stood at a halt, simultaneously words flowed out from that mouth.
“Leave……?”
“Yes.”
“Why on earth…… no, where are you leaving to suddenly, by any chance is it because of me? Because you dislike me, because the proposal I made is uncomfortable…… if it’s because of that, I—”
“No, Jade. It’s not such a thing.”
Deborah cut off his words, which he was pouring out incoherently, in the middle.
“It’s not because the proposal is uncomfortable, and it’s even less because I dislike Jade.”
“Then, why…….”
Watching Jade who asked as if he couldn’t understand, Deborah formed a bitter smile.
“Just, because I don’t want to…… be here.”
“…….”
The expression of Deborah, who was quietly spitting out the words, immediately became an “oh no” face at Jade’s complexion that turned dark.
“Ah, what I am speaking of…… meant that I want to leave here…… Denver.”
“……Why suddenly.”
“Um…… it’s not suddenly, and…….”
Deborah, who was smiling awkwardly, stopped her words for a moment.
Right, what would she hide at this late stage.
In front of a person who knew everything, there was no way an evasive remark would work.
Deborah opened her mouth again before long.
“I thought it was fine…… since now I have the child, that it was fine.”
“…….”
“But, still, once in a while…… there are times when it’s too hard.”
Though she brought the word hard to her mouth, in fact, with that expression alone, it was difficult to explain all of her current heart.
That she must forget, that now she must truly forget all cleanly.
Though she tried whipping herself like that at every moment.
Every time she faced the shadow of the man that popped up abruptly, her heart was torn like rags into a thousand pieces and ten thousand pieces.
On some days, it was to the extent that she couldn’t breathe, as if someone were violently rummaging through her heart with an iron skewer heated in fire.
On other days, because she missed that person so thoroughly…… there were also times when she wanted to blindly run toward Elfengreen.
Even while knowing full well that he wasn’t on that spot.
She knew all, but even so, if she went to that place where memories with him dwelt— because it felt like this disease-like longing would become a little better…….
In the end, realizing on her own that she couldn’t do so, she had to bury her face in the blanket in the middle of the night without anyone knowing and vomit screams just like a crazy woman.
It was for that reason.
At some point, as the appearance of her dead mother began to be projected over such an appearance of hers— she thought it must not be this way.
She could not make her child into a child whose heart was bruised like her.
“If I leave here and go to another place, then…… I think it will become a bit fine.”
That then it felt like she would be able to breathe a little bit, Deborah smiled faintly while looking at Jade.
Hearing such remarks, what on earth could he say.
Jade could not say any remark whatsoever with a stiffly frozen face.
“Where…….”
Only after a long time had flowed did a short remark flow out from Jade’s mouth.
A heavily submerged voice.
“Where are you saying you will go.”
Ah, it was that remark.
Deborah showed a bright smile belatedly.
“To Rosewick.”
“To Rosewick……?”
“Yes. In fact, Lea introduced a job to me. There is a farm run by Lea’s relative there, and if it’s that place, they said I can stay with peace of mind until I give birth to the child and settle down.”
Watching her smiling face saying that this was all thanks to Lea, Jade’s gaze moved slowly toward her side in an instant.
Rosewick, right. It seemed he had heard of it at one time.
That Lea’s mother’s maternal cousin was living in that place.
That person whom Lea’s mother used to worry about because the person was just too good.
However, as for why that person who was Lea’s relative suddenly came out at this moment, honestly Jade did not understand well.
Whether she read that mind, Deborah immediately attached the following words.
“Ah, I heard that after words were exchanged with me, a letter was sent to that side. Briefly explaining my situation, and asking if they could by any chance accept me.”
“Lea…… did?”
“Yes.”
“That side…… accepted it, then.”
Without even needing to hear it, at the remark he asked as if he had realized, Deborah nodded her head.
“Saying they willingly consented, they said I may come at any time. If I want, they said they will also arrange a dwelling place to stay separately after I give birth to the child.”
“……With a body carrying a child, how on earth are you saying you will do another’s work.”
What the concern Jade was making while knitting his eyebrows was, Deborah understood right away.
Because of that, had she herself also not been unable to move rashly and been indebted to Jade until now.
“As for that, you see, I also worried about that— but there was a whole reason why Lea introduced that place.”
“If it’s a reason…….”
“They said Lea’s relative, that is, the farm owner’s wife is also in a state of carrying a child right now. Saying they are extremely cautious because it’s a child they conceived after a long while since marriage. For such a reason, they said I may work within a line of not overdoing myself until I give birth to the child too. With the reward decided as receiving as much as I worked.”
In her current situation, there would be no better job than this, Deborah thought.
But for some reason, even after hearing all of those words, Jade’s expression did not brighten easily.
Just when she was wondering what on earth the reason was, that answer she came to know upon hearing Jade’s words that came out immediately.
“You don’t…… have to do that, you know. Intentionally, while going that far…… if you dislike here, I will look into another place. So once again, th—”
“You know that won’t do.”
“…….”
“Now I know all of what Jade’s mind is like…… while knowing, I cannot receive that help shamelessly, as for me.”
“…….”
A remark as if quietly reasoning with him.
But at that tone where quite a lot of strength was loaded, Jade realized that he could not persuade Deborah any further.
“Then, now, are we…… not even friends anymore?”
Hearing that question which came out only after a long while, for the first time, a loud sound of laughter was heard from Deborah’s mouth.
“By no means.”
Deborah, who smiled brightly, spoke toward Jade.
“Where on earth would I go to find a good friend like Jade, there’s no way I would do that.”
Those words were truly her sincere heart.
Not a sweet-sounding remark made while considering the opponent’s mood, but a remark truly welling up from her sincere heart.
Deborah thought.
That a good friend like Jade would never exist again in her life in the future either.
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