More Than Coincidence, Fate (6)
Jung Hee-sung’s performance cut off abruptly.
It was as if some strange power, one that could not be measured by human knowledge, had forcibly stopped his playing.
Opening his eyes at that oddity, Jung Hee-sung saw Do-hyun’s shocked expression.
And when he followed Do-hyun’s gaze, he saw something like a ball floating in midair.
“Gasp…!”
Strength left Jung Hee-sung’s hand, and he nearly dropped the violin before gripping it tightly again.
【Ah, seriously, I was getting nervous because I thought I wouldn’t be able to find you. Who would’ve thought the two souls had met?】
It had a strange appearance that was difficult to describe in words.
It looked infinitely deep, as if darkness had gathered into one place, yet it kept splitting apart as if made of collected light.
One thing was certain.
It was an existence that could not be understood through their common sense.
Is this a dream?
But it was too vivid to be a dream.
On top of that, Do-hyun was right beside him.
Jung Hee-sung barely managed to collect himself and stepped in front of Do-hyun.
【There’s no need to be so wary! I’m an existence that isn’t allowed to interfere recklessly, so normally, I can’t even touch a hair on your heads.】
For some reason, Do-hyun felt as if that lump was grinning.
“Normally?”
At Do-hyun’s murmur, the lump wavered.
【Let’s just skip over those tiny details!】
Jung Hee-sung’s wariness rose even higher.
He had no idea what was happening right now, nor what that strange thing was.
But one thing was certain.
He had to make sure Do-hyun was safe.
Can I protect him?
At the sudden weak thought, Jung Hee-sung bit his lip.
It was only a small lump about the size of two of his fists put together, but it felt as though he were facing the vast universe itself.
A cold sweat ran down his back at the sensation of becoming a faint, insignificant being more fleeting than dust.
【Hmmmm. It looks like you’re afraid of me, strange souls.】
As if it were thinking, the lump moved to the right, then to the left, drifting here and there.
Then, at some point, it stopped still.
【Humans introduce themselves when they meet for the first time, don’t they? I’ll introduce myself. I am an “Adjuster.”】
“Adjuster…?”
【If I had to express it using human words, yes. I don’t particularly have a name, so just call me whatever you’re thinking. “Lump” will do!】
At those words, both Do-hyun and Jung Hee-sung flinched.
“Did you read our thoughts?”
【What a small human you are! I didn’t mean to read them, but they flowed in naturally.】
Do-hyun’s mind began spinning quickly.
A strange lump calling itself an Adjuster.
And it had called him and hyung “strange souls.”
If hyung and I have something in common… it’s that we have the same illness.
Do-hyun’s thoughts continued, one after another.
Then, could these “strange souls” mean….
【Correct!】
At that voice, Do-hyun startled.
【The small human is quite clever! Yes. What you thought is right!】
In an instant, the lump flew right in front of Do-hyun and began circling around him.
It happened before Jung Hee-sung could even stop it.
【Not-small human, there’s no need to be nervous. Today, I’m only here to talk. I’m a lump with that much knowledge about humankind.】
Jung Hee-sung realized there was nothing he could do.
And he also realized that the best course of action right now was to listen to what this strange lump had to say.
Giving up on trying to keep the lump in check, Jung Hee-sung asked what he wanted to know.
“What exactly are you going to talk about?”
【Both of you were rejected by humans for no reason, weren’t you?】
“!”
“!”
At those words, Do-hyun and Jung Hee-sung were both startled.
Do-hyun and Jung Hee-sung’s eyes met.
Both Do-hyun and Jung Hee-sung had always felt a strange sense of déjà vu when they talked to each other.
An odd sensation, as if they had met someone who understood them perfectly.
It was something both of them had felt.
But that had been real?
【It isn’t only humans. Anything with life has no choice but to find you unpleasant.】
“What… what does that mean?”
Do-hyun’s voice trembled terribly.
【Strange souls. You were born with incomplete souls.】
“Incomplete souls?”
【Yes. You can call it a soul, or at times, essence, origin, source… It has many names. And those souls are “complete” in every living thing. Even the soul of that tree swaying outside the window.】
Do-hyun and Jung Hee-sung had no choice but to quietly listen to a story they had never even imagined.
【But sometimes. Very rarely. A mutation is born. There is a flaw in a soul that should have been complete. It is an event so rare that it might happen once every hundreds of thousands of years in a single universe.】
“That mutation is….”
【Yes. You two.】
Do-hyun’s face, which had been shaking with shock, gradually settled.
In his darkly lowered black eyes, acceptance and emptiness appeared.
So that was it.
When he had been younger than he was now, he had wished for his parents to love him.
Thirsty for affection that never returned, he had even pleaded for it before.
Even while watching the caregivers who couldn’t handle him change again and again, he had hoped the next person who came would like him.
He had wanted someone to speak warmly to him and share their warmth with him.
Before meeting hyung, it had been a wish that had not come true even once.
But that was because I was a mutation.
Because I was a “strange soul.”
It might be better this way.
He had always been curious.
Why did everyone hate only him so much?
What did he have to do so they would not hate him anymore?
Now that he had finally heard the answer, perhaps it was better this way.
Because he would no longer hold on to useless lingering hope.
And….
Do-hyun carefully looked back at hyung.
If I said I was happy because hyung is the same as me, because the person who is the same as me is hyung, would hyung think I’m a bad child?
The moment he thought that unconsciously, Do-hyun suddenly remembered that the suspicious lump could read thoughts and froze.
Fortunately, whether the lump had not read Do-hyun’s thoughts or simply had no interest in them, it continued its explanation.
【Of course no one could find the cause of the illness you two are suffering from. It isn’t a problem of the body, but of the soul. Your bodies are trying to hold in souls that want to scatter, so of course they cannot endure it. Both of you have a field where you are strangely, almost genius-level outstanding, don’t you?】
At those words, Do-hyun thought of hyung’s performance, and Jung Hee-sung thought of the moment Do-hyun had been acting.
【Since the soul is unstable, should I say the body evolved in order to survive…? To fill in the lacking part of the soul, one side developed abnormally. At that moment alone, through your brilliant talent, even your incomplete soul becomes momentarily “close to complete.” That is the level of your talent. A great talent that will never appear again in the world.】
At those words, Hee-sung thought of how people with autism sometimes showed genius-like talents.
【Hmm, it’s a little different from that. Well, it doesn’t matter.】
Hee-sung frowned at the realization that his thoughts had been read again without his permission.
“So what happens to us?”
【If things followed their original course, your bodies would simply collapse and you would die….】
At those words, Do-hyun’s eyes wavered once.
【But since I found you, the story changes a little.】
“Why were you looking for us?”
At Jung Hee-sung’s sharp question, the lump smiled.
Even though it was a lump without eyes, a nose, or a mouth anywhere, Jung Hee-sung felt that it had smiled.
【Because you are beings who have strayed from the natural order. That puts you under my management. As an “Adjuster,” my job is to free incomplete souls from their bodies so they do not go against the flow.】
“That… doesn’t that mean dying?”
【From your point of view, it would be death.】
“…So you’re telling us to die? Because of that damned natural order?”
【I was originally planning to do that.】
Unlike Jung Hee-sung’s sarcastic tone, the lump remained calm and waited to continue.
【But it seems another method has appeared.】
“Stop beating around the bush and get to the point.”
【All right, all right. So impatient.】
The lump spun once in place, then said,
【There is a way to not go against the natural order without freeing your souls. I can make an incomplete soul complete!】
At those words, neither Do-hyun nor Jung Hee-sung could remain calm.
For a brief moment, hope settled over both of their faces.
【However, it’s only possible for one of you!】
And that hope shattered immediately.
At the words declared in such an endlessly bright tone, Do-hyun’s eyes filled with shock.
“Why? Why? You can’t save both of us?”
【I am only an Adjuster. Saving and killing lives is not under my jurisdiction. If that were possible, I would have introduced myself as a god, not an Adjuster.】
Jung Hee-sung spoke through gritted teeth.
“Why can only one of us live?”
【It’s already fortunate that even one of you can live! Luckily for you, in one universe, and even in the same space, there are two incomplete souls. On top of that, the qualities of your souls match so well that they even caused resonance. I didn’t know something like this was possible! It’s the first time I’ve seen it since I came into existence! It’s extremely rare!】
The lump spoke with great excitement.
【One of your souls will fill in the flaw in the other person’s soul! If that happens, the two souls will mix. Neither of you will be the same as before anymore. However, since the reconstruction will happen around the soul that holds the initiative, the self that remains will belong to that side.】
At those words, Do-hyun remembered hyung’s face as he had brightly smiled while talking about his younger sibling.
He remembered the way hyung had suffered while calling his time as a violinist merely the past.
And he remembered how, in the end, he had held the violin in his hands and played more intensely than anyone else.
【Ah. I think I forgot to mention something earlier. I said your talents momentarily make your souls close to perfect, right? But there’s no way that wouldn’t strain your bodies. The more you displayed your talents, the more your bodies would have broken down.
Besides, just now, you caused a resonance powerful enough for me to find you. Well, you probably didn’t know what you were doing…. But that means you released souls that were barely being held together out of your bodies. In other words, you shortened your own lifespans.】
“H-how much shorter did it become?”
【The small human is still relatively all right, but… the not-small human is the problem. Your body will collapse before the Earth turns thirty more times. With the resonance you caused just now, about a year must have disappeared. Tsk, tsk.】
For a moment, Do-hyun’s thoughts stopped.
What have I done?
He was the one who had clung to hyung, who said he had let go of the violin, and forced it back into his hands.
Everything he had been certain of collapsed in front of a reality that felt unreal.
Only one fact remained now.
I drove hyung toward death.
Do-hyun’s body began trembling like an aspen tree.
Jung Hee-sung noticed something was wrong with Do-hyun and pulled him into his arms.
He hugged Do-hyun tightly and poured words over the small crown of his head.
“It’s not your fault. I chose it.”
“Hyung, because of me, I….”
“I was just an idiot with a mouth full of empty words. Look, I brought the violin all the way here. In the end, I wouldn’t have been able to let go of it anyway. Do-hyun, look at hyung. Hm?”
Jung Hee-sung lifted Do-hyun’s head and met his eyes.
“It was my choice. Do-hyun, it was the result of my choice.”
Do-hyun realized his words were sincere.
But the truth did not change.
It’s my fault. I have to take responsibility.
Do-hyun’s trembling stopped.
Just as Jung Hee-sung was about to feel relieved at the sight of Do-hyun seeming to calm down,
“Please save hyung.”
“You! What are you saying!”
Jung Hee-sung turned pale with horror and grabbed Do-hyun’s shoulders.
Do-hyun looked at Jung Hee-sung with firm eyes.
“Hyung chose it, but I was the one who pushed you.”
“I said I’m fine!”
“Hyung has a younger sibling you love. And you’re a famous violinist, right? I don’t know much, but if people recognize you to that extent, then I know that means you’re amazing.”
Frustrated, Jung Hee-sung shouted,
“What does any of that matter!”
“Hyung has a lot to lose.”
At the unexpected words, Jung Hee-sung’s body stiffened.
“I have nothing to lose. I haven’t built anything up. So it’s better for hyung to live.”
Do-hyun spoke with all his sincerity.
Jung Hee-sung was about to say something, but Do-hyun’s words were a little faster.
“And more than anything, I want you to live, hyung.”
“…Why?”
“Because you’re a good person.”
As Do-hyun said that with a clear smile, Jung Hee-sung’s throat tightened.
If Do-hyun had said it simply because he wanted to take responsibility, it would not have hurt this much.
Do-hyun’s words, that he had nothing to lose, pierced sharply into Jung Hee-sung’s heart.
Why this little kid?
Why did words like that have to come from the mouth of such a small child?
Over Do-hyun’s face, he saw himself overlap.
Jung Hee-sung slowly closed his eyes and opened them again, then looked at the lump.
“Do we have to decide that right now?”
【If the body collapses too much, things become a little troublesome, so the sooner the better…. But there is still a little time.】
“How long?”
【About a week?】
“Then we can delay the choice until then, right?”
【Well, that much is fine!】
At those words, Jung Hee-sung nodded and said,
“I’ll decide in a week. Come back in a week.”
【All right. Since I’m a kind Adjuster, I’ll specially grant your request.】
The lump circled once around Jung Hee-sung and Do-hyun’s faces, then disappeared without any warning.
The hospital room after the strange lump disappeared looked no different from usual, so it felt as if they had dreamed it all.
“Hyung, we….”
Jung Hee-sung cut off Do-hyun’s words.
“Did you think I’d be happy if you gave me your soul?”
He was wearing a face Do-hyun had never seen before.
His expressionless, stiff face seemed as though he were burning with anger, and at the same time, as though he were enduring a deep sadness.
“You want me to survive with your life.”
Jung Hee-sung muttered lowly, then let out a scoff as if he could not believe it.
He could not calm down at all.
His heart was beating like mad.
“To say something like that so….”
Without any hesitation.
As if he felt relieved.
No, with an almost happy expression….
Jung Hee-sung let out a bitter breath.
Had there ever been a day in his life when he had been this angry?
He was angry.
So angry that he could not endure it.
So angry that tears flowed down because he could not suppress the rage.
“H-hyung.”
Do-hyun fidgeted and reached out his hand.
Jung Hee-sung coldly shook off that small hand.
“I’m sorry, but I think I’m a little too worked up right now, so I need time to calm down. Let’s talk tomorrow.”
Do-hyun’s heart dropped.
Has hyung become disappointed in me?
Does he no longer like me?
When he thought that, a fear greater than when the lump had said he would die came rushing in.
He wanted to grab him right away, but he could not reach out because he was afraid of being rejected again.
Moisture filled the eyes that had remained dry even when he spoke of death.
But Jung Hee-sung did not soothe Do-hyun.
Unable to endure that cold gaze, Do-hyun lowered his head.
“I… Then I’ll go.”
Do-hyun, who had clasped both hands tightly together, spoke in a small voice.
“Tomorrow. I’ll come again tomorrow.”
After saying that, Do-hyun got down from the bed.
Moving slowly, as if his feet would not leave the ground, Do-hyun hesitated in front of the door for a long time before turning back.
Jung Hee-sung was looking out the window.
Biting his lip tightly, Do-hyun opened the door and left the hospital room.
Once Do-hyun’s footsteps had completely faded away, Jung Hee-sung buried his face in both hands.
An unsteady breath slipped out through his fingers.
After a long while, he lifted his head.
His bloodshot red eyes were shining with a strange light.
“Lump…. Are you still here?”
