Chapter 19
The rich aroma of freshly brewed coffee filled the air as I placed a finished cup in front of him.
“Ta-da. Give it a try. It’s Kasia’s special coffee.”
“Thank you.”
Holding my warm tea while he cradled a glass of iced coffee, we sat together at the table by the window.
Beyond it stretched a beautiful countryside, where golden rice fields rippled like waves beneath the breeze.
For a while, we simply admired the peaceful scenery in silence, each quietly sipping our drink.
“It’s a wonderful gallery.”
“Isn’t it? More people have started coming because they say the coffee is good, but it’s still quiet and peaceful…”
My voice trailed off as I looked around the gallery.
Breaking the comfortable silence, he finally spoke.
“Here…”
He didn’t finish his sentence.
But I already knew what he meant.
He was asking whether I had finally overcome the grief of losing Diana.
Whether the pain had faded.
Whether I still mourned her.
“I guess…”
I thought of Diana and searched my own heart.
“I miss her.”
That felt like the most accurate way to describe my feelings.
I was no longer devastated.
I no longer felt as though I would die because she was gone.
But I still missed her.
I still wanted to see her.
Not every day—
Yet whenever I looked up at the blue sky, I sometimes wondered whether she was somewhere out there, living happily.
Whenever I visited places we had spent time together…
Or ate food we had once enjoyed together…
The memories naturally resurfaced.
And I would find myself wishing…
That Diana were here with me now.
It was a bittersweet feeling.
Like someone revisiting places they had once shared with a former lover, only to be overwhelmed by emptiness.
That was how it felt for me.
Each time, what colored my heart wasn’t pain—
It was emptiness.
As though everything had disappeared…
Leaving only me behind.
Lost in thought, I could feel Mikael watching me.
I turned toward him.
“What is it?”
“Nothing.”
He gave a bitter smile before taking another sip of his coffee.
“I just realized…”
“You may have been the person who treasured Diana the most.”
“…Diana was someone everyone couldn’t help but love.”
I answered softly.
A gentle smile naturally appeared as I remembered her.
“It wasn’t just me.”
“Wherever she went, people adored her.”
Some people seem born carrying sunlight within them.
Wherever they go, they naturally become the center of attention.
They effortlessly draw everyone’s eyes.
Diana was exactly that kind of person.
She was a light to everyone around her.
In high society, she brightened every gathering with her beauty.
Within the duchy, she illuminated the land as a wise and compassionate Duchess.
To Ken and Nick…
She was a warm, loving mother.
To her husband…
She was an unwavering partner.
“…That’s true.”
“There was never a place where she wasn’t loved.”
Mikael nodded.
“Even within our own family…”
“Diana was the most lovable child.”
“She was our light.”
“Now that I think about it…”
“I suppose everyone in the Allison family was like that.”
How should I put it…
The members of the Allison family embodied everything people expected from true nobility.
Perhaps it ran in their blood.
Not only were they all remarkably beautiful…
Their character was equally noble.
The Allison family held a prestigious place in high society.
People admired them.
Everyone loved every member of that family—
Including Diana.
“You were the same…”
“When we were young, you shone just as brightly, Mikael.”
As I looked at him and said that…
He turned to me.
“…Was I?”
“Of course.”
“I’m only saying it now, but do you know how popular you were among the young ladies back then?”
“I mean…”
I stopped myself.
It suddenly felt like I was praising him far too enthusiastically.
“Anyway…”
“It was true.”
“You shone just as brilliantly as Diana.”
Mikael looked at me.
Then he slowly spoke.
“So did you.”
“…Me?”
“You always shone just as brightly as Diana.”
I looked back at him.
There it was again.
That unfamiliar gaze.
The same look I had seen at the seaside villa.
“And you still do.”
His eyes met mine directly.
“When we were younger…”
“I wanted to become friends with you.”
“But for some reason…”
“You always avoided me.”
“…I wasn’t avoiding you.”
“Really?”
“So I misunderstood?”
“…”
The truth was…
I had avoided him.
When I was very young…
I had liked him so much.
I was afraid he would notice.
I believed someone like me could never belong beside someone like him.
Oddly enough…
Although I had always been comfortable around Diana, who resembled him so much…
Standing before Mikael made me feel completely different.
It felt as though no one could ever discover those feelings.
That was how I had been back then.
Embarrassed, I quietly took another sip of tea.
Silence settled between us.
I could sense Mikael smiling faintly as he watched my profile.
Then, without warning, he spoke.
“Kasia.”
“There’s something you should know.”
I looked at him.
His expression had become completely serious.
“One thing is certain.”
“Everyone who loved Diana…”
“Has found a way to move forward.”
“…”
“But…”
“I don’t think you’ve truly escaped from her yet.”
“What I’m trying to say is…”
His voice grew gentler.
“It’s not good to remain bound by the past forever.”
“You know what I mean, don’t you?”
I quietly met his gaze.
It was a strange feeling.
As though he had seen straight through me.
As though he had struck the very heart of the matter.
Looking at me, Mikael continued.
“If you still want to…”
“Just tell me.”
“…”
“I can still erase your memories.”
* * *
Seven years earlier.
It was not long after the news spread throughout the Allison Estate that I would be marrying the Duke.
Late one night…
Mikael came to see me.
“Kasia.”
“Don’t do it.”
Hearing someone knock on my door, I stepped outside.
There stood Mikael, wearing an expression filled with urgency.
Not long had passed since he had lost the younger sister he cherished.
Despair clouded his eyes.
“If you go through with that marriage…”
“It may ruin your life.”
“…Come inside, Mikael.”
I invited him into the house.
I already knew why he had come all this way to oppose the marriage.
With Diana gone…
My marriage to the Duke threatened to complicate everything.
Even if it was purely to protect the children…
To the Allison family, who knew none of the circumstances, it was an unimaginable shock.
Because of that…
Seeing Mikael lose the calm composure he always possessed didn’t surprise me.
What truly caught me off guard…
Was the first thing he said after entering the house.
“I can use magic.”
“…What?”
My eyes widened in shock.
After checking that no one else was nearby, he lowered his voice.
“My powers awakened quite a long time ago.”
“But I never told anyone.”
“It would’ve only caused trouble.”
“So I never used them.”
“…”
His words reminded me of something I had once heard.
One of the Allison family’s distant ancestors had married a magician.
Even now…
A marriage between humans and magicians was extremely rare.
Ever since then…
Though only once in perhaps a hundred years…
Someone in the Allison bloodline would occasionally inherit magical abilities.
Diana had possessed no magic.
Neither had Mikael ever shown any sign of it.
I had assumed they were both ordinary.
“I can manipulate memories, Kasia.”
Mikael knew how close Diana and I had been.
He knew the rumors claiming that I coveted the Duchess’s position…
Or that I had loved my friend’s husband…
Were complete lies.
Although I had never told him the truth behind Diana’s death…
He had already realized there was another reason I had agreed to marry the Duke.
That I was trying to protect everything Diana had loved.
He continued.
“I’ll erase every memory you have of Diana.”
“…”
“It may sound cruel…”
“But my sister is already gone.”
“Forget her.”
“And live for yourself.”
“Please…”
“Don’t sacrifice your own life for my sister.”
“…”
“If not for your own sake…”
“Then do it for mine.”
“Please.”
His voice broke as he spoke.
He was drowning in despair.
Looking at me as though he were watching the last flickering flame of a candle about to disappear…
He pleaded with me.
Yet strangely…
To me…
He looked like the one whose flame was about to go out.
He looked as though he might collapse at any moment.
“If you marry the Duke…”
“How am I supposed to live with myself?”
“…”
“I’ll spend the rest of my life feeling guilty.”
“Guilty that you threw your life away…”
“Because of my little sister.”
“How am I supposed to face you after that?”
I quietly looked at him.
Then smiled…
And gently embraced him.
“I’m alright, Mikael.”
“…Don’t.”
“Please don’t, Kasia.”
“You know what kind of bond Diana and I shared.”
“You know what she meant to me.”
“…Mikael.”
“This is something I truly want to do.”
“I’ve already prepared myself to devote my life to it.”
“…”
“So please…”
“Don’t ask me to stop.”
“If anything…”
“Turn your back on me, just like Count and Countess Allison.”
“Only then…”
“Will my choice have meaning.”
Mikael’s body began trembling…
As though he were standing at the edge of a cliff.
I continued holding him tightly.
Or rather…
I deliberately avoided looking at his face.
I knew it was only respectful not to witness the grief spilling from him.
So I simply embraced him.
His sorrow flowed into me.
Diana’s death must have been unbearably painful for him as well.
Something almost impossible to accept.
He was her family.
He must have grieved even more deeply than I did.
I gently rubbed his back.
“I’m sad too.”
“That Diana is gone.”
“…”
“Let’s both overcome this…”
“In our own ways.”
“This…”
“This is simply the way I want to overcome my grief.”
“…”
“But that’s exactly what makes me so sad.”
It wasn’t the answer I had expected.
My eyes widened.
Slowly…
He lifted his face from my shoulder and looked directly at me.
“…How can you transform your grief into something like this?”
At that moment…
I realized something.
The tears filling his eyes…
Were not for Diana.
They were for me.
“Losing Diana…”
“Was painful enough to make me want to die.”
“But when I see you trying to take her place…”
“I just want to die.”
I stared at him in silence.
This time…
He embraced me.
As though comforting me.
As though gently soothing my heart.
“Take care of yourself.”
“…”
“And someday…”
“When you’re finally able to leave that place…”
“Let’s meet again.”
My heart sank.
Unable to find any words…
I simply remained in his arms.
That night…
Mikael cried for only one person.
For me.
He wept over the weight of the choice I had made.
It was the only night anyone had ever cried solely for my sake.
And he was the only person who ever had.
I knew…
I would never forget that night.
