Chapter 153. If the Duke Learns This Fact
“Oh my!”
Late at night, while inspecting the lamps in the central corridor, Butler Kyle’s hand suddenly paused.
What could have caused such a commotion at this late hour?
His sharp gaze turned toward the source of the noise.
Then his expression changed after spotting someone standing a few steps away.
Kyle quickly walked over.
“You should have just left it.”
He said that as he approached and noticed the tray in Deborah’s hands.
At the same time, he did not miss the fact that the bowl on the tray had been completely emptied.
“Ah, it’s alright now…”
Kyle stared silently at the face shaking its head.
Sunken eyes.
Rough skin.
A pale face that looked as though it might collapse at any moment.
The traces of illness were still evident everywhere, making her claim that she was alright completely unconvincing.
At least one fortunate thing was that she seemed to have regained some energy after Lea’s visit earlier that day.
Considering how gloomy his master had been the entire time the woman before him had been bedridden, it truly was a relief.
“Please give it to me.”
As he reached out toward the empty bowl, Deborah carefully handed him the tray.
Then, as if she had something she wanted to say, she hesitated for a long time before finally moving her lips.
“Has Jade— no, I mean, Mr. Wilkins returned?”
Deborah quickly corrected the name that had slipped out by habit.
At that sight, Kyle answered with a gentle smile.
“Yes, he returned a little while ago.”
“Ah… I… see.”
“He is in the study right now.”
“Would you like to go see him?”
Normally, in a situation like this, a butler should first obtain the master’s permission before guiding a guest.
However, Kyle, who had served him for many years, knew very well.
The person his master would welcome more than anyone else was the one standing right before him.
After hesitating briefly, Deborah nodded.
Kyle smiled gently at her.
“Come, this way.”
For a moment, every step she took felt remarkably light.
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“Come in.”
Not long after she knocked, a voice came from inside.
Deborah took a deep breath and firmly turned the doorknob.
The first thing she noticed upon entering was the faint scent of ink brushing past her nose.
Next came the sight of bookshelves packed tightly together.
And sitting at the desk in front of them was Jade.
“……”
Seeing him studying something with a serious expression, she suddenly wondered whether she was disturbing him unnecessarily.
But after coming all this way, she could not exactly turn around and leave.
As she stood there hesitating, unable to do either, Jade noticed something strange and slowly turned his gaze toward the left, where Deborah stood.
His indifferent gaze visibly wavered the moment it met the pale face standing in the middle of the study.
Perhaps because he assumed no one but Kyle would come looking for him in the study at this hour.
Or perhaps because the visitor was someone he had never expected.
In that brief moment, countless emotions crossed Jade’s face and disappeared.
Unable to endure the awkward silence, Deborah cautiously spoke first.
“Sorry for coming so late.”
“I just had something I wanted to say…”
Only then did Jade abruptly rise from his seat.
“Ah, something to say…”
“F-first, come sit over there.”
Pointing toward the sofa, Jade strode forward.
Deborah slowly followed behind him.
“……”
“……”
A brief silence passed between them as they sat facing each other across the table.
Then again, it was the first time they had sat face-to-face since the day he told her about the pregnancy.
It was only natural for things to feel awkward.
“I’ll prepare some tea— Ah, right, at this hour…”
Unable to bear the silence, Jade started speaking.
Then he realized how late it was and awkwardly stumbled over his words.
It was the first time she had ever seen such behavior from someone who was usually so composed, and a small laugh escaped her without realizing it.
That little laugh gradually softened the awkward atmosphere between them.
“…I heard from Lea on the way here.”
After silently looking at Deborah for a long time, Jade finally spoke again.
Words he had hesitated to say because he could not figure out how to begin.
Deborah slowly nodded.
If not anyone else, she felt she had to tell Jade personally.
That was why she had come here.
If not for him, would she even be here like this now?
The day she first left Elpengreen.
The terrible day when her entire world collapsed.
And even recently, the day she collapsed unconscious on that rain-soaked road.
In every moment when she had been unable to stand on her own, Jade had been there beside her.
Whether it was because of his sense of responsibility stemming from Helena Lowell’s request.
Or whether it was simply the goodwill of a friend, as he claimed.
To Deborah, it was a kindness she could never repay, even in a lifetime.
That was why she wanted to tell him the decision she had made before this day ended.
With her own lips.
“I’m going to have the baby… and raise the child.”
“That’s what I’ve decided.”
“……”
After listening to her calm declaration, Jade remained silent for a long time.
She had only wanted to tell him about her decision.
She had not been expecting any particular reaction.
Yet her chest suddenly felt heavy.
Even so, she had no desire to reconsider the decision she had already made.
Still, she could not help feeling afraid and lost.
It was only natural.
She was in no position to provide even the minimum conditions necessary to raise a child.
Without anyone to rely on, every step she took from now on would undoubtedly be difficult and exhausting.
How could she not be afraid?
How could she not feel terrified?
As she stared blankly at the end of the table with a suffocating heaviness in her chest—
“It won’t be easy.”
“……”
Those were the first words he spoke after the long silence.
That it would not be easy.
Perhaps because she had expected that reaction to some extent, she did not feel hurt.
After all, anyone who heard about her circumstances would have said exactly the same thing as Jade.
Deborah nodded.
“I know.”
“I know it won’t be easy…”
“……”
“Of course it’ll be difficult.”
“There will definitely be times when I’ll want to give up everything…”
Jade listened quietly without interrupting as her words flowed out like a confession.
“But…”
Grasping her clasped hands tightly, Deborah let out a long breath.
“Strangely enough, I couldn’t think of anything else.”
“As if it had been decided from the beginning…”
“……”
“I may not be enough, but I’ll work that much harder.”
“To become a good mother…”
She wanted to hear words of encouragement.
Not necessarily congratulations or praise for making the right decision—
But at least one simple sentence telling her not to worry because things would work out.
Even Lea, who had boldly asked what she planned to do, had looked troubled for a long time after hearing that she intended to have the child.
Perhaps that was why.
Why she had come all the way here at this late hour to say something that could have waited until tomorrow.
Simply because she needed someone’s encouragement to steady the anxiety lingering in her heart.
And somehow, she felt that Jade would be the one to give her those words.
But—
“If that man, the Duke of Cheister, learns about this.”
Thud-!
The hypothetical question that left his mouth caused her heart to sink heavily.
Her trembling golden eyes stared at Jade’s rigid face.
“Have you never thought about that?”
“……”
“If he learns that she’s carrying his child.”
“If he learns that she’s carrying Cheister blood.”
“Have you never thought about what he might do afterward?”
The sharp words pierced deeply, and she found herself speechless.
She had never once thought about it.
The moment she had lost her will to live, she opened her eyes and discovered that a child had come into her womb.
Simply coping with that fact had already been overwhelming.
Her thoughts had never reached beyond it.
“I won’t let him know… no, he won’t find out.”
Her restless, wandering gaze clearly revealed how confused Deborah was.
Even so, there was a reason Jade had deliberately brought up this subject.
Because he saw himself reflected in the child growing inside her.
The illegitimate child of the Cheister family.
That dreadful title which had followed him throughout his entire life.
People who loved gossip often claimed that living as the illegitimate child of a noble family was dozens of times better than living as a poor commoner.
But those were merely the words of people who had never experienced it themselves.
If only his mother had been a commoner and met an ordinary man before giving birth to him.
If only his father had been a man whose wife was solely his mother.
…No, if he had never been born in the first place.
No one would ever know that such thoughts had bruised his heart thousands upon thousands of times throughout his childhood.
In the Kingdom of Ruvake, noble families—especially those of the upper class—generally acknowledged their illegitimate children.
Of course, circumstances varied.
And even when acknowledged, it was often little more than an empty gesture, since they were still forbidden from officially bearing the family name.
But at the very least, they were rarely abandoned irresponsibly the way lower nobles or commoners often were.
Yet this was none other than the Cheister Ducal House, a family comparable to royalty itself.
Moreover, even if illegitimate, it would be the first child of the young Duke.
And the real issue was this:
If Deborah gave birth to a son rather than a daughter…
There would be no need to think any further.
That was why he was saying this.
Because he felt that someone had to explain what it truly meant to bear Raymond von Cheister.’s child in the Kingdom of Ruvake.
At that moment, Jade’s eyes slowly darkened with solemn resolve.
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