1. Regression
If she had known this would happen, Seirena thought, she would never have left the Knights. If she hadn’t, things wouldn’t have turned out this way.
It was her mistake not to regard her talent as a talent. She hadn’t cherished what she held in her hand.
Her title, her family, and her talent.
She should never have become the Queen.
No, perhaps that was not something she could have avoided. If so, she should have at least never given up her sword. Then, she might have been able to use that very sword to stab the man before her to death!
Seirena’s eyes, filled with hatred, stared intently at the man standing opposite her.
But she couldn’t. Seirena looked down at her own hand, which was too weak even to lift.
She saw the hand that had once been beautiful, now emaciated, covered in scars, and horrifyingly ugly.
Who would ever think of this hand as a queen’s hand?
It wasn’t just her hand. No one would think of her as the Queen now.
Seirena was only twenty-nine years old. Yet, with her hair turned completely white and her body reduced to skin and bones, she looked well over fifty.
The one saving grace, she thought, was that there was no mirror in her place of confinement, preventing her from seeing her own face.
“Do one thing useful, for once.”
At the words of the man—her uncle, whom she had once believed cared for her—the hostility in Seirena’s expression gave way to a dazed blankness. A useless thing.
She was useless. She was not especially more beautiful or more clever than other women.
Eight years ago, her uncle had married her off to a king older than her deceased father, telling her to be grateful to him.
“It is the highest position a woman can attain.”
She had believed him then. His words.
She had thought her uncle loved her.
She thought he would look after her and her younger brother, Ezra, after they had become complete orphans, having lost both parents.
So, she trusted him and followed his lead. Because her uncle was the only person she could trust.
“I told you, you should have at least borne the King a child.”
At this remark, spoken almost with pity, Seirena’s head snapped up.
On her skeletal face, only her bloodshot eyes began to glow fiercely.
“Why? So you could kill them?”
At Seirena’s words, Count Hunter shut her mouth. Though there was no chance the soldier standing behind the door would hear, he was offended that Seirena dared to challenge him.
He spoke that way, but he was secretly relieved that there were no children between Seirena and the late King. If there had been, her daughter might have become the Crown Prince’s wife and eventually the Queen, which would have complicated things further.
It had taken nine years. Nine long years.
Nine years ago, the death of her father, his older brother, Count Hunter, had been a godsend to him.
“I had hoped not to dirty my hands.”
When it became clear Seirena wasn’t going to commit suicide, the Count clicked his tongue and picked up a dagger. If Seirena took her own life here, it would make things easier for the Hunter family.
His own daughter had married the Crown Prince through the trust he had earned from the King by offering Seirena as Queen.
However, a mere Crown Prince’s wife was not what he desired. He wanted his daughter to become the Queen.
Count Hunter had fabricated a plot, accusing Queen Seirena and the First Prince of colluding and attempting to murder the Second Prince, thereby framing them both.
The First Prince, the Prince’s wife, and Seirena were swiftly confined, and the third trial awaited them tomorrow.
The third trial was for the attempted murder of the Second Prince.
The Count wanted Seirena dead before she could stand trial.
She must not be present in the courtroom.
“Do you intend to live forever hearing talk of you as a wasteful Queen, so obsessed with men that you committed adultery with your stepson?”
The Count smiled, a repulsive, sickening expression. Seirena’s body froze.
A depraved woman, mad for men.
A wench who squandered the national treasury on luxury.
All lies. Yet, everyone believed it.
Seirena shuddered lightly, recalling the humiliations she had suffered during the past two trials.
“This is your doing.”
A faint, trembling voice escaped Seirena’s lips.
Did she know? Count Hunter let out a hollow laugh but said nothing. The girl was useless now, but for a time, she had served her purpose. Thanks to her, he had gained the King’s trust. Thanks to her, he could pin the money he embezzled from the national treasury on her.
But…
“You discard what is useless.”
Seirena’s eyes widened at the Count’s words.
No, it wasn’t the words. The Count approached as if to embrace her, then recoiled quickly as if she were somehow filthy.
Seirena’s head dropped slowly. Her gaze landed on her own abdomen, where the dagger was plunged.
“Guard!”
Worried about getting blood on his hands, the Count pounded on the door. He quickly rushed out of the open door before Seirena could call for help.
“Damn it.”
A curse, one she hadn’t uttered in years, flowed weakly from Seirena’s lips.
Utterly used, utterly betrayed.
And utterly abandoned.
She thought she had cried so much that she had no more tears left, but her eyes welled up again.
She had trusted him. She was barely twenty years old. After losing both her parents on the same day and becoming a complete orphan, her uncle appeared.
He was not a stranger. Their relationship, in fact, had been good.
The relationship between her uncle and her father had also been good.
So, naturally, her uncle became the guardian of Seirena and the young Ezra.
He had promised to hand everything over to her when she turned twenty-one, but instead, he used her trust to swallow up the entire family estate.
She had believed. Believed he would love her. If not like her father, then at least as her uncle.
Knock. Knock.
Just as her vision started to blur, someone knocked on the door from outside.
Seirena quickly composed herself.
The dagger remained lodged in her abdomen. Seirena remembered from her decade of experience as a knight that pulling it out would cause the blood to drain faster.
“Come in.”
Seirena’s voice barely managed not to break. She knew who the person arriving this time was.
She had, after all, not been waiting for her uncle.
At her word, the guard opened the door, and a person with a hood pulled over their head entered the room.
“Welcome.”
Seirena forced a smile, using her sleeve to cover her abdomen so the dagger would not be visible.
The visitor was a mage. She knew she shouldn’t show any weakness.
“You called for me, Your Majesty.”
Despite her no longer being the Queen, the mage still addressed Seirena as “Your Majesty.”
Was it mockery? Seirena tried to read the mage’s expression, but as her uncle had said, she was utterly ‘useless’ at reading people.
“I called for you because I have a favor to ask.”
Fortunately, the mage did not look like she was sneering at her words. Seirena considered that a small mercy.
People’s contempt, their disregard—these things were quickly destroying her.
“Speak your mind.”
At the mage’s invitation, Seirena adjusted her posture. She felt the sleeve covering her abdomen become soaked and heavy.
A strong smell of blood filled the air, but the mage stood still, pretending not to notice.
The mage was watching this young Queen’s life ebb away.
A depraved and luxurious villainess. That is what everyone called her.
Recalling the rumors that she changed men every night after the King’s death, and that she bought a new diamond necklace daily, the mage felt a slight sense of pity for Seirena.
“I told you before… that I was researching a spell to revert youth.”
At Seirena’s words, the mage felt the brief flicker of pity fade. Was youth truly the only thing she desired, even in the face of death?
The mage shook her head and spoke coldly.
“No. Not youth, but time. More precisely, traveling back to the past.”
“Yes, that.” Seirena smiled faintly.
The arm covering her abdomen was losing strength and kept slipping. Yet, she tried to hide the wound from the mage until the very end.
“I want to turn… to turn back time. If you want my… my soul…”
“No, Your Majesty.”
The mage cut off Seirena’s words and spoke. She had realized what this dying Queen wanted.
She probably wanted to turn back time so she could run away before being captured.
If not that, then… The mage shook her head.
She wasn’t interested. Magic required a price. And this Queen had absolutely nothing to offer as payment.
“I don’t need your soul. You are already dying.”
Seirena’s eyes widened at the mage’s words. The mage watched slowly as the twenty-something Queen, who looked over fifty, registered her shock.
The golden hair that had once shone beautifully was now completely white, and her eyes, once praised as the most expensive amethysts on the continent, were hideously bloodshot.
Was this the final end of the Queen who had been celebrated as the most beautiful?
“But you… you said you would help me someday.”
A voice that was impossible to tell if it was suppressing anger or tears flowed from Seirena’s lips.
The mage spoke with the same inscrutable, expressionless face.
“Yes, Your Majesty. I said I would help you someday. But that was on the condition that you could pay the price.”
“You said you wouldn’t take a price…”
Short, wheezing breaths burst from Seirena’s mouth, suggesting her strength was failing.
The mage looked down at the Queen’s blood-soaked abdomen and sleeve and sighed.
There are two kinds of prices to pay for magic.
The price paid to the mage who uses the magic. And the price paid to the world that is altered by the magic.
For ordinary magic, the mage pays the latter price. In return, the mage simply takes a higher price from the client.
But the magic Seirena desired—that was impossible.
“You have nothing to offer the world.”
Someone who is already dying can’t possibly offer anything to the world. With those final words, the mage turned and walked straight out of the room where Seirena was imprisoned.
“Damn it.”
Uttering a curse for the second time, Seirena closed her eyes. Breathing became even more difficult, and her rasping gasps were painfully loud.
I don’t want to die. I didn’t want to die.
Regret surged over her like a tidal wave.
I should not have quit the Knights. I should have told Ezra I loved him.
If I knew I would lose everything in the family anyway, I should have held a magnificent funeral for my parents.
- And even to that person…
