Episode 70. You’ve Already Seen It
In broad daylight—this was far too shameful a topic to be discussed inside the study.
She wanted to end the conversation right there, but until he withdrew the order he had given, Deborah couldn’t leave this room.
In the end, she raised her eyes, which had been cast downward, and met his gaze squarely.
“Wasn’t that… already over back then?”
In other words, she was saying—there was no point continuing a meaningless conversation now.
But he didn’t seem to think so at all.
“I thought it was over too.”
“Then your answer is—”
“But it wasn’t.”
“……”
“I thought I had ended it cleanly, completely… but I was wrong. I hadn’t.”
“……”
Each word he spoke, as if engraving it into her, stirred something foolishly within her chest.
Even after all her vows and resolve, to feel herself shaken again by just a few words—it made her sick of herself.
But nothing had changed.
Deborah no longer wished to throw herself into a fire whose end she could already see.
Her situation was far too precarious now, and the regret caused by that one night had already been more than enough.
Clenching the hand she had curled into a fist, Deborah slowly lifted her head again to look directly at the man’s face—
That face, like that of a beast waiting for the moment to bite into its prey’s throat.
“I’m not.”
The tone was calm, spoken directly to him.
At that, Raymond’s dark brows twitched slightly.
“You’re not?”
“…Yes. I’ve already erased everything from that night, cleanly.”
“……”
I’ve forgotten it all. So that night means nothing to me anymore.
Hearing that, Raymond glared at her as if he would kill her with his eyes.
For a long moment, a sharp tension filled the air—until finally, a chilling voice spilled from his lips.
“Erased everything, you say—”
The quiet tone, as though he were muttering to himself, was so cold that it sent a chill crawling down her spine.
The corner of his mouth curved upward slightly.
“But what should I do?”
With that same icy expression, one side of his mouth lifted just a little—something about it struck Deborah as strangely distorted.
That thought flickered through her mind even in the middle of all this.
At the same time, the faint smile at his lips deepened further.
“I haven’t finished yet.”
His expression seemed to say—Did you not hear what I just said?
‘Why on earth is he doing this?’
The thought flashed through her mind.
The Duke of Cheister wasn’t some idle man doing this out of boredom.
A man of noble bearing, about to be engaged to a woman any observer would admire—why was he being so unreasonable?
Could he possibly have some other feeling toward her? That fleeting thought crossed her mind, but she quickly dismissed it with a bitter, self-deprecating smile.
After considering every possible reason, only one remained.
No—there couldn’t have been any other reason to begin with, and yet she had wasted time circling around it like a fool.
A strange smile began to spread across Deborah’s face, which had been stiff since the moment she entered the study.
Seeing it, Raymond’s eyes narrowed slowly.
“If… what you need is a woman to serve you in your bedchamber,”
She got that far—and then her voice caught.
The very act of speaking those words herself made her feel unbearably miserable and wretched.
Swallowing the hot lump rising in her throat, Deborah continued.
“Find someone else. I… am not that kind of woman.”
She knew well enough that after having crossed that threshold once herself, those words might sound unconvincing to him.
Even so, she couldn’t stand being treated that way.
A woman of easy virtue—someone who could be summoned to his bed whenever he wished.
She didn’t care what others might think, but to be seen that way by this man was intolerably disgusting.
Her jaw was clenched so tight that it wouldn’t have been strange if blood seeped from between her teeth—when suddenly, she heard a voice from him, one she had never heard before.
A low, scraping sound—almost like a beast growling.
That icy gaze, blazing with a blue flame, slashed across Deborah’s face.
“So you’re saying… I’m treating you like a woman who sells her body?”
“……”
“Answer me, will you?”
The voice, laced with suppressed anger, fell cold and sharp like a blade of wind slicing through flesh.
“I… thought so.”
Ha—at Deborah’s reply, a rough, hollow laugh burst from his lips.
“You say things like that because you have no idea what such treatment even means.”
As if trying to suppress his boiling temper, he pressed his fingers irritably against his brow.
If he had ever regarded the woman before him as such an object, he wouldn’t have been doing something this insane now.
He wouldn’t be resorting to these ridiculous acts just for a chance to see her face or exchange a few words.
Not realizing this, the nonsense spilling from her mouth began to irritate him even more.
So much so that he didn’t even realize what kind of mistake he had just made—
not until he heard the quiet words fall from her lips.
“You already… saw it.”
“……”
“You saw… what kind of state I was in, after being treated that way. You saw everything.”
You saw it all—so why pretend you didn’t? Didn’t you see it clearly that day?
Her face as she spoke was eerily calm.
It was as though she were speaking of someone else—neither anger nor sorrow showed on her features.
And that only made it feel all the more unnatural.
For a moment, he felt as though he’d been struck across the head with a blunt object.
—Wasn’t it this low-born wench who deliberately tried to seduce me?
—You filthy wretch! Say it with your own mouth! Didn’t you climb into my bed and wait for me there?
The furious roar of Count Leister, raging like a demon, echoed in his ears.
And then his memory slipped back to the words he himself had said at that time.
—Apologize to the Count.
He had lifted the disheveled woman off the floor and told her to say that.
And now here he was, saying she didn’t understand what it meant to be treated that way—
A low curse escaped his mouth.
Then, for a long moment, heavy silence settled over the study.
If only she had turned pale and burst into tears—he wouldn’t have been struck speechless like a fool.
But her calm indifference left him utterly unable to speak.
Time passed meaninglessly in that helpless stillness—until, unexpectedly, Deborah was the first to open her mouth.
“Please withdraw the order you gave Lady Charlotte.”
For once, the woman who was always so hesitant spoke with clear intent.
It would have been easy enough to comply, but unfortunately, this was something he could not concede.
If he’d planned to back down, he wouldn’t have started this insane business in the first place.
Raymond quietly studied her face as she waited for his answer.
“Choose one of the two.”
“…One?”
“Yes. Either you move your room, or you stay excluded from your duties.”
Her golden eyes trembled violently, clearly not having expected such words.
It was just as he had anticipated.
She was the sort of woman who cared too much about others’ eyes—so naturally, she wouldn’t be able to choose either.
After a long pause, she would surely say something like this:
“…I don’t want either of those.”
Yes, that.
Seeing her react exactly as he had planned brought a faint smile back to Raymond’s face.
“If I pretend none of it ever happened, what will you do for me in return?”
“…Do for you?”
“You should offer me something too, shouldn’t you?”
That would make things fair, wouldn’t it?
Deborah shot him a sharp glance at those words.
Perhaps because he was used to seeing only her timid, obedient demeanor, Raymond found that hint of defiance rather appealing.
If it had been any other servant acting that way, he would have made them pay for it immediately—but seeing this woman, even her defiance seemed endearing. Perhaps he truly had lost his mind.
She kept her lips pressed tightly together for some time, then at last, her closed mouth opened again.
The words about to come out were predictable enough.
“What… do you want?”
As he looked at that pale face cautiously asking the question, Raymond’s lips curved into an even more wicked smile.
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BY ANNA 💓
