His shout, one I’d never heard before in my life, struck my ears like a blow. I turned my gaze from the cave toward the marquis, and there he was, glaring at me with a terrifying intensity.
In all my life, up to that moment and beyond, I’d never seen the marquis this angry. He’d always been indifferent to whatever I did.
Was he furious because I’d left the ailing Sys alone? It seemed Sys meant more to the marquis than I’d imagined.
It was something I already knew, but I couldn’t help feeling a bitter pang. Unlike those days when we’d treated each other with mutual indifference, I’d thought we’d grown a little closer, but that must have been my own illusion. Then and now, I meant nothing special to the marquis.
Seeing him worry only about the crown prince stirred a sense of disappointment in me, which suggested that at some point, I’d started giving my heart to the marquis and harboring expectations.
It left a bitter taste in my mouth, but my feelings weren’t what mattered right now. The priority was to treat Sys, who must still be suffering from fever even at this moment, as quickly as possible.
“Before you scold me, I think you should have the crown prince seen by a physician.”
“What do I care what happens to a crown prince who couldn’t even stay by your side!”
The marquis twisted his face in anger.
“Falling from a horse and coming down with a fever, then wandering off alone—are you out of your mind!”
He pressed his hand to my forehead, venting his frustration. Despite his angry voice, the touch of his hand on my forehead was exceedingly gentle.
I didn’t fully register what he was saying, but it was clear he had mistaken the sick person for me, not Sys. Pushing aside my confusion, I corrected him.
“It’s not me who fell from the horse and has the fever—it’s His Highness the Crown Prince.”
At my words, the marquis furrowed his brow. He scanned me from head to toe with a skeptical gaze, as if conducting a thorough examination.
After checking my condition for a while, still seeming unconvinced, he pressed his own forehead against mine.
“Your Grace!”
A man in the uniform of a royal knight approached and addressed the marquis, who was still holding my face with a furrowed expression.
“We’ve found signs left by His Highness the Crown Prince here as well… Miss? Isn’t that Miss Eliant?”
Because the marquis had been standing protectively in front of me, the knight only noticed me belatedly. He hadn’t even finished his report to the marquis before shouting in surprise. It showed just how many people had been roaming the area in search of me and Sys—more than ten gathered around us and the marquis in an instant at his cry.
“Miss Eliant, where is His Highness!”
One of the gathered people urgently called out to me, asking about Sys’s whereabouts. To the current me, he was a stranger, but to the me from that time, he was someone I knew well.
Clad in the golden armor of a royal knight, he was Sys’s childhood friend, who would later become the youngest captain of the imperial knights in history when Sys ascended to the throne as emperor.
At his age back then, he was far too young to be captain of the knights. Many had grumbled about the unconventional personnel decision by Emperor Sys, but no one doubted his skill.
Isnal Huirn Lionel—he was the current Count Lionel, a genius swordsman who came along once in a century.
“Miss Eliant!”
“Count Lionel, how dare you raise your voice in front of whom.”
The marquis stepped in front of Count Lionel like a shield as he approached me reproachfully.
“My apologies, Your Grace. But this concerns the safety of His Highness the Crown Prince.”
He bowed his head respectfully before the marquis in apology, yet he didn’t bend his will.
From the time Sys was crown prince until he became emperor, Count Lionel had always stood by his side, protecting him. Not just from physical threats, but as a friend and as a subject, Count Lionel was a steadfast ally to Sys.
“Miss Eliant, please tell us quickly.”
“Count!”
The marquis directed his unfiltered displeasure at Count Lionel. It was unfamiliar to see the marquis revealing his emotions so openly.
I grabbed the arm of the marquis, who was standing as if to shield me. He turned to look at me, having been glaring at Count Lionel.
“I’m fine.”
I stepped out from behind the marquis to face Count Lionel.
“His Highness the Crown Prince is in that cave over there. His fever is severe, so hurry and go with a physician.”
As soon as I finished speaking, Count Lionel dashed toward the cave like an arrow. I wanted to go with him, but the knights’ strides were far faster than mine. My joining them would only be a burden, no doubt.
The marquis seemed deeply displeased with Count Lionel’s attitude, furrowing his brow as he watched the count’s retreating figure. There was nothing particularly wrong with how the count treated the marquis’s daughter, but I wasn’t an ordinary marquis’s daughter, and the marquis was right beside me. Count Lionel should have been even more courteous than he was. Moreover, the look in his eyes toward me clearly conveyed his disapproval.
The marquis must have sensed it too, for unlike his usual composure where he rarely showed emotions, he openly displayed his displeasure toward Count Lionel.
I’d received such looks from Count Lionel more than once or twice, though the marquis might not know. From our first meeting until just before his death, Count Lionel had never liked me. He never openly ignored or rebuked me, but he simply didn’t favor me. His reason was that I was utterly unfit as empress or as Sys’s consort.
It was something I was used to, but it seemed unpleasant for the marquis, as he still didn’t hide his discomfort.
“Let’s go.”
“You’re not going to His Highness?”
Surprised, I questioned him, and the marquis furrowed his brow again.
“Why should I go to the crown prince?”
“Pardon?”
I froze, unable to respond to his question. I’d assumed the marquis would naturally go to Sys. Hadn’t he been searching for Sys all this time?
Come to think of it, earlier too, the marquis had spoken words that prioritized me over Sys. His unexpected words and actions were more than enough to confuse me.
Perhaps my thoughts showed plainly on my face, for the marquis looked at me with a complicated expression. His face was a tangled mix of pity, disappointment, and regret.
“I…”
“Yes?”
“How could I leave you alone?”
“But…”
“Even if the crown prince were dying right now, the one I must stay by is not him—it’s you.”
The marquis reached out his hand toward me. His large hand gently pulled me by the back. Drawn by his strength, my body buried itself into his chest. Though the marquis himself was a civil official, the Eliant family had produced commanders-in-chief for generations—a martial lineage. Even now, with his ongoing physical training, his chest was solid.
“Bionne, my beloved daughter.”
It was a much broader embrace than that of Sys, who had not yet fully matured as a man. The firm support against my back and the chest wide enough to envelop my whole body felt warm and comforting.
His tone when saying he loved me was far from tender. But the marquis’s characteristic gruff manner made it feel all the more sincere. This man, who had likely never uttered the word love in his life, was saying it to me.
While my mind was in turmoil, my hands embraced him in return. The dampness of his clothes seeped through to my palms. I pictured the marquis wandering through the rain all night, searching not for Crown Prince Sys, but for me.
It wasn’t an illusion. As I’d felt, my relationship with the marquis had changed from those days. He no longer looked at me with indifference or turned away.
Tears flowed down, wetting his chest. Feeling the warmth spreading there, he slowly stroked my back.
“When I heard you’d disappeared, I was filled with regret. If something happened to you, I could never forgive myself.”
His tone remained calm and gruff, but the emotions within were anything but.
“I’m sorry. I’ve been inadequate and made things hard for you. Forgive this father who only realized after nearly losing you. My daughter, my child.”
“Fa… ther.”
It was a whisper, soft and small, but he couldn’t have missed it. Father said nothing, but I could feel his hand trembling faintly as it stroked my back.
I’d always yearned for his attention. I’d craved his love, desperate to be acknowledged as his daughter. I’d lived a life of frantic struggle, hoping for even a sliver of warmth in those cold blue eyes that gazed upon me.
Pitiful over the years spent miserably longing only for love, I’d given up on it. This time, I’d sworn never to crave their love again. Yet foolishly, was I still thirsting for love?
My heart ached so much at Sys’s confession, at Father’s confession—perhaps because I still loved them.
I lifted my head to look at Father’s face.
His cheeks looked sunken and haggard, as if he hadn’t eaten a thing in the day that had passed, and his unkempt beard stirred pity in me.
I reached up and touched his beard. The prickly sensation at my fingertips was no dream. The warmth directed at me in his blue eyes, once felt as cold as ice, was no lie.
‘I love you too, Father.’
I was his daughter. Then and now.
* * *
“Rant.”
“…”
Even at my call, Rant kept his head bowed, lips sealed, unmoving. I watched him while tapping my fingers on the table. With a sigh, I called his name again.
“Rant, answer me.”
At my question, the child bit his lip. His eyes reddened around the edges, yet Rant shed no tears. It was admirable, but at the same time, it left me pondering how to handle this.
Rant, who had always nodded obediently to whatever I said, was stubbornly resisting like this for the first time. His willful behavior inwardly flustered me.
“Are you not going to answer at all?”
“I don’t want to.”
Rant lifted his head and met my eyes. Determination settled in his dark brown eyes, which were usually soft and yielding.
“I don’t want to, Sister.”
“Rant!”
“I heard you were in danger—how could I just sit still!”
This wasn’t the child who always responded quietly and politely. Startled by his sudden loud voice, I must have shown surprise, for Rant flinched, stiffening his body and tightening his lips.
“I’m sorry for startling you. But if something like that happens again, I absolutely cannot follow your words.”
As Rant fell silent, a quiet settled between me and the child. I fell into thought, unsure how to deal with this unexpected fierce rebellion from him.
Upon returning to the mansion under Father’s protection, what awaited me was news that Rant had gone missing. The men of the household, assembled to search for me, were mobilized once more to find Rant.
Fortunately, before the day turned, we found Rant wandering near the forest where the hunting tournament had been held. But his actions were far too dangerous to dismiss as mere childish impulse and let slide as if nothing happened.
The site of the hunting tournament had been cleared of dangerous animals by the knights beforehand, but the surrounding areas were teeming with ferocious beasts. It was an extremely perilous place for a child not yet grown to wander alone.
I wasn’t unaware of why Rant had slipped out of the mansion and roamed there. Knowing full well that he’d done it to search for me made it all the more impossible to just overlook.
“Rant, you are the child who will become the heir to the Eliant Marquisate. If something were to happen to you…”
