Chapter 117. Therefore, Leave on Your Own Feet
It was a question asked with the knowledge that Charlotte was the final decision-maker who approved the hiring of female servants.
Of course, a request from the butler, Graig, had been involved in that process, but she could not bring up that story in this situation.
Charlotte, with a deeply stiffened face, slowly began to open her mouth.
“At the request of… an acquaintance, I hired her personally.”
“An acquaintance’s request?”
At the sharply ringing tone, Charlotte bowed her waist before her.
“……Yes, My Lady.”
“How could a person like you, who is so clear about separating public and private matters, handle things in such a manner!”
At the thunderous roar, Charlotte’s face immediately sank into darkness.
Though decades had passed since Charlotte first knew her, in all those long years, she had never once seen her in such a fit of rage.
Not even when her husband treated her so harshly, nor on the day he passed away at the same time as the lowly mistress he had kept by his side his whole life.
She was a person who never lost her smile or her dignity.
To the point where those watching from her side felt sorrowful.
Facing the Grand Lady so enraged, Charlotte’s heart grew heavy, feeling as if it were all her own fault.
“Are you saying you brought her in even while knowing she is a lowly orphan with no parents?”
It was not only the Grand Lady who was angry.
Cecilia, her angelically beautiful face crumpled, glared at Charlotte with a fierce gaze.
“……I am sorry.”
At Charlotte’s words of apology offered with a bowed head, a sharp, hollow laugh burst from Cecilia’s mouth.
And once again, a heavy silence descended upon the drawing room.
While sharp words were exchanged back and forth around her, Deborah stood frozen in place, unable to even breathe.
Watching Mrs. Charlotte being reprimanded right in front of her was an incredibly agonizing thing for Deborah.
She would rather endure any amount of blame poured upon herself, but she could not stand seeing another person receive such harsh reproach because of her.
It was even more so because Mrs. Charlotte was the person who had shown her the most warmth after Hanna since she arrived here.
How much time had passed like that?
Breaking the silence that had continued for a long while, Eleanor finally spoke.
“Exactly since when… have you been frequenting the Duke’s bedroom?”
The expression of Eleanor as she voiced that question looked extremely wretched.
But it was the same for Deborah as well.
It felt as if the secret matters between the two of them were being exposed in detail before everyone.
Just as she stood there, unable to answer due to the surging shame, Cecilia strode toward Deborah.
Slap!
At the sharp rupturing sound that sliced through the air, the shoulders of those watching with bated breath flinched.
There was no one to stop it, but even if there had been, it happened so
instantaneously that there was no time to intervene.
“How dare a thing like you remain silent when the Grand Duchess asks a question!”
“…….”
The fingertips that struck her were so fierce that by the time Deborah raised her head back to its original position, her cheek had already swollen red.
Swallowing a groan, Deborah finally opened her mouth.
“About two months…… it has been roughly that long.”
At the words from Deborah’s mouth, everyone’s faces turned to shock.
Eleanor, who had asked the question, leaned back against the sofa while holding her forehead as if dizzy, and Cecilia glared at Deborah with a gaze full of contempt, as if looking at something filthy.
“……Is it even fitting for a lowly and dirty wench like you to dare occupy the Duke’s bedroom?!”
“…….”
“I don’t know what kind of sweet talk my brother gave you…… but someone like you will never set foot in our Cheister family.”
In other words, she was telling her not to dream vain dreams at all.
She wanted to say that she had no other desires except simply being by his side…… but it felt like there was no one who would believe those words.
After a moment, low words flowed from the mouth of Eleanor, who was leaning against the sofa.
“……You must know well. Who he is currently exchanging marriage proposals with.”
“…….”
Deep fatigue was etched over her low, muffled voice.
“I do not know how far this matter will become known…… but the important thing is, there must absolutely be no case where the marriage between the two families is ruined because of you.”
Those determined words were like a warning that she would never forgive her if such a thing happened.
“In my heart, I want to kick you out right this instant, but—.”
“…….”
“That would only result in incurring Ray’s resentment once he finds out…….”
Only then did Deborah realize the reason why she was not kicking her out immediately.
As all motherhood likely is, she loved her son so very much.
She was afraid that her son, upon his return, would resent his mother for finding out she had kicked out the maid he kept in his heart.
That was why she was holding onto her now and saying these things.
Clearly, she was the person who wanted to kick her out more than anyone else, yet she was enduring and enduring it, unable to do so—
It was the moment the question that hadn’t been solved was finally answered.
“Therefore, leave on your own feet.”
The thing she wanted to say the most finally flowed through her lips.
“I am telling you to disappear quietly from this place, and from before my son, on your own, without causing trouble to anyone anymore.”
“…….”
“If you promise to do so, I will give you a sum of money that will not leave you disappointed.”
Mother—!! In an instant, a sound like a scream erupted from Cecilia’s mouth, but Eleanor’s gaze remained unshaken.
She simply stared intently, as if the answer that would come from Deborah’s mouth was the only thing that mattered most.
Before such a woman, how could she possibly hold out?
She could not bring herself to cling and beg, saying she truly loved her son and asking to be allowed to stay only by his side without any other desires.
Even though she had prepared her heart again and again, thinking that such a moment might come someday…….
The moment that moment became reality, she did not become as calm as she had thought.
It felt as if the ground beneath her feet was collapsing and the world before her was dark, as if she might just crumble away on the spot.
Whether it was because she suddenly remembered what he said to her before leaving and what she said to him, or simply because it was such a moment, nothing came to mind.
Even though it was an event from only a day ago, it felt so distant that it seemed like a story from a long time ago.
Deborah finally nodded toward the Grand Lady, who was waiting for an answer.
“……I will do so.”
“Truly…… you are saying you will do as I said.”
At the question asked as if to confirm once more, Deborah nodded her head just as she had a moment ago.
“Yes…… I will do so.”
“…….”
Words that flowed out quietly.
Seeing Deborah’s face, which contained neither sadness nor anger—nothing—Eleanor’s expression was somewhat strange.
Since she had heard the answer she wanted, Deborah thought she would be happy…….
Even in the midst of it, Deborah felt that was very strange.
But what did that matter at this moment…… suddenly, such a self-mocking thought occurred to her.
Ah, there was one important thing left.
The words she almost forgot.
“However, the money you said you would give…… I will not accept it.”
For a moment, it seemed as if the Grand Lady’s pupils convulsed slightly.
But that was the end of it.
At the words saying that was enough and that she should leave now, Deborah bowed once more in greeting.
And then she immediately stepped out of the drawing room.
The empty attic.
Sitting on the bed, Deborah took a look around the room.
“…….”
She had feared the moment of being kicked out from here so much, yet why was her heart so still?
Her own state, so indifferent that she could not understand it herself, was simply strange.
She wanted to seek forgiveness from Hanna before leaving…….
Would she be a little sad, or would she feel relieved that I disappeared just when she didn’t want to see me?
Unknowingly, a chuckle escaped her.
After looking around the attic once more, Deborah soon shook herself off and stood up.
There was nothing good about dragging out time.
Walking to the chest of drawers, Deborah took out an old bag from there.
The bag she had brought when she first came here.
The image of that moment, when she had come with only one set of maid uniforms provided by Teacher Helena inside it, suddenly came to mind.
How could it be such a shabby and miserable sight?
Ah, in a moment, Deborah realized the reason why she was so calm.
A total orphan with nothing.
Even though she was clearly in the same state as back then, there was one thing that was different.
The memories with him, the warmth he shared, and the moments she was happy beyond her station.
All those memories were stacked one by one in her heart, and before she knew it, it was packed tight.
Though her empty hands with nothing remained the same, the love he gave.
It was the moment she finally realized that it had made her strong.
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