“Please, Bee…”
Thinking my silence was an answer, Sys collapsed before me, his arms wrapping around my waist as if he’d never let go, filled with desperate tenderness.
“How can I make you rely on me?”
“…”
“How can I get you to trust and depend on me? Please, say something, Bee.”
It wasn’t that I didn’t trust him. I was simply unused to leaning on anyone. I was accustomed to finding solutions myself, my body reacting before I could even consider relying on someone else.
The problem wasn’t with Sys—it was with me.
“I love you.”
“…!”
“I love you, Sys.”
I sank to the floor beside him. The cold marble seeped through my thin dress, but it didn’t matter in that moment.
I loosened his arms from my waist, pulling them forward. His hands, slightly larger than mine, were unusually cool. I pressed them tightly, as if to warm them.
“How can I put this feeling into words?”
I placed his hand over my heart, hoping he’d feel its wild beating. His body flinched through our joined hands.
Smiling softly, I met his gaze.
“Every time I see you, my heart races like this, yet I pretend it doesn’t. When other women approach you, I burn with jealousy inside but act unbothered, armoring myself with boldness to hide my feelings.”
“Why?”
He looked at me, uncomprehending.
“Why hide it?”
“Because I’m a coward.”
I reached for his cheek. His skin was smooth as porcelain but never cold, its warmth spreading through my fingertips.
“I acted prickly, curling up like a hedgehog to hide my cowardice.”
His elegant brows trembled faintly.
“What made you so afraid?”
His eyes twisted with pain.
“What made you curl up like that?”
I gently traced his tense brow, soothing it.
“I’m scared of losing you, Sys.”
“What?”
“If I pour out all my emotions, will you tire of me? Will you be disappointed and leave? Will you turn to her again…?”
“What are you talking about, Bee?”
His confusion was understandable.
He wouldn’t abandon me for Irene now. He was here, in my hands, looking only at me. I knew this, yet deep inside, a part of me trembled with fear.
I cupped his face with both hands. He surrendered to my touch, his warmth filling my palms.
“I know you love me.”
“But?”
“Even knowing that, I’m afraid.”
“Bee.”
“That’s why I’m a coward.”
I didn’t know what my expression was, but his face grew sadder than before.
“What can I do to ease your fear?”
“…”
“Is there anything I can do?”
His trembling voice was thick with emotion. I carefully stroked his cheek.
“Don’t change.”
I loved how he called my name tenderly, how my reflection filled his golden eyes, the thrill of his whispered love.
“No matter what I do or how I act, keep looking at me like you do now.”
He took my hands from his face, his golden eyes fixed on me like they were nailed there.
“That’s all?”
He kissed my palm.
“No matter what you do.”
His lips brushed my forehead.
“No matter how you appear.”
His kisses trailed from my eyes to my nose, then my cheek.
“I love you.”
He pressed his lips to mine, a simple, unadorned kiss, unlike the electrifying ones before.
I caught his face as he pulled away, pressing my lips to his again. His eyes widened, and I grinned.
“You’ve made a promise now. You can’t back out.”
“I have no intention of backing out.”
His lips curved into a gentle smile.
“I warned you I’d kill you if you slipped from my grasp.”
“Oh, right.”
He chuckled, recalling that moment.
“Are you sure you’re okay with this?”
He placed his hands on my shoulders.
“It’s what I want.”
I wrapped my arms around his waist, sinking into his embrace.
“I might go mad and lose control someday.”
“Ha, that’s fine. I’m already mad for you, my Bee.”
I’ve been mad for you forever, Sys.
But that would remain my secret. Forever.
Because I’m utterly selfish.
Act 24: The Mastermind
“My lady, perhaps you should rest?”
I shook my head at the butler’s concerned words.
By now, the person disguised as me would have entered the sealed palace where the First Consort was. Fortunately, Pison Trading Company had found someone skilled in swordsmanship and combat, with a build similar to mine.
Luckier still, their eyes were a shade of green close to mine. In bright light, the difference in hue might give them away, but a hat casts shadows over their face, making it hard to distinguish. With a golden-brown wig and Madame Miela’s meticulous touch, they looked so much like me that even I was momentarily fooled. As long as they didn’t speak, they could deceive the First Consort for a while.
The scratch of my pen on paper was the only sound in the quiet study.
If I didn’t keep working, worry would drive me insane.
The butler sighed at my stubbornness. Giving up on persuading me, he silently refilled my empty teacup.
“Haa.”
My hands moved over documents, but my senses were fixed on the palace. Work was futile in this state.
I gave up, setting down my pen. A sigh escaped me.
“The knights have started moving, yes?”
“Yes, the Eliant knights, imperial knights, and Pison Trading Company’s forces are surrounding the sealed palace, awaiting the signal.”
Despite the chaos of war with Canaan, Father and Sys had spared knights for me. In a time of war, pulling away the empire’s finest was no small feat.
“It’ll be okay, right?”
“Yes, everything will be fine.”
The butler’s firm response eased my nerves slightly.
The knight infiltrating the palace as I carried a flare developed by Pison Trading Company, its piercing sound audible even outside the sealed palace. It was a precaution in case they couldn’t rescue the children alone or faced danger.
The knights waiting outside would storm in the moment the flare sounded.
Please, let them save the children safely…
I sipped my tea to soothe my dry throat, but the unease lingered. To calm myself, I fidgeted with the ring on my finger, slightly thicker than most, twirling it around.
“My lady, that’s…”
