Chapter 4

As I followed Gi In-hwa into the meat restaurant, I felt the eyes of the people sitting at the two inner tables turn toward us.

I didn’t raise my head and walked quickly to my seat.

Then I began gathering my bag and phone, which had been left lying around.

I intended to go home.

We had become a couple starting today, but a sense of unease that this couldn’t go on like this washed over me.

I concluded in a very short time that it would be better to take one step back for now, re-examine my future plans, and scheme for tomorrow.

“Junior, I got your coffee. I didn’t know what you like, so I went with something safe.”

As I was putting my bag on my shoulder, Yoon Yoo-seon said, pointing at the table.

I glanced at him, still sitting across from me, then fixed my eyes on the takeout coffee cup on the table.

Yoon Yoo-seon said as if boasting that he had gotten it, but that was what Gi In-hwa had bought.

I quickly picked up the coffee.

“But you’re leaving already? I’m disappointed we didn’t get to talk much, Jo Yoon.”

Yoon Yoo-seon, who had pronounced the two syllables of my name with special emphasis, put on a deliberately glum expression.

I only showed a slight look of discomfort and didn’t answer.

There had been a few times before when people like Yoon Yoo-seon—easygoing and sociable—had approached me.

I am always alone, strange rumors follow me, and my appearance is shabby.

To someone like Yoon Yoo-seon, I must look terribly pitiful.

But none of them lasted long.

Yoon Yoo-seon will also fall away soon.

I am more exclusive, more true to instinct, and more selfish than anyone.

“The ice has probably melted a bit, so don’t drink it if it’s watery. Next time we meet, I’ll buy you a new one.”

Yoon Yoo-seon said, looking at me with a pleased gaze.

To be precise, his pleased and satisfied gaze was on the plastic cup I was carefully cradling.

This person seemed to have seriously misunderstood something.

To correct that, and with a faint ulterior motive, I replied loudly and clearly.

“I don’t intend to drink it anyway. I’m taking it because my boyfriend bought it.”

Yoon Yoo-seon’s eyes went round with doubt.

The two tables that had been noisy fell silent all at once.

Dozens of eyes were on me.

Ignoring their gazes, I walked over to Gi In-hwa and said, “Senior, I’ll contact you when I get home.”

Gi In-hwa looked at me without answering.

A gaze of anger—as if dumbfounded, as if absurd, as if he’d been hit—anger I had braced for him to rain down on me while I blackmailed him, but which he hadn’t shown even a little.

Having barely obtained that one small fragment, I turned around with a feeling of victory.

Behind me, No Joo-eun’s sharp voice saying “Isn’t she crazy?” reached me, but I ignored it.

Six months starting today.

It was definitely Gi In-hwa who had said that, and I was determined to keep to that deadline even if I had to hold back tears.

So this much should be fine.

I never said we had to date secretly.

*

I took a taxi home and arrived a little after nine at night.

I hardly ever use public transportation other than taxis.

No, I can’t use it.

So I usually just walk most distances, but today had been unusually long and hard, so I took a taxi.

After washing up, I dealt with the takeout coffee cup I had carefully carried from the meat restaurant.

First I threw out the contents, washed only the cup clean, and removed the water.

After confirming it was completely dry, I went into my room and pulled an old cardboard box out from under the bed.

I opened the lid and placed the plastic cup in one corner of the box.

Inside the box were coated gum wrappers, an unopened bandage, a half-folded aluminum pull tab, a used eraser, and a palm-sized leather diary.

They were all things I had received from Gi In-hwa, or things Gi In-hwa had lost.

Maybe they were simply things he had thrown away.

Whatever their stories, these objects, overlaid with memories of me, are treasures far too precious to me.

If the house caught fire…

I imagine this often, and if the house caught fire, the only thing I would grab is this box.

Everything else is just stuff I don’t really care about.

I carefully pushed the lidded box back under the bed.

Then I sat at my desk and opened my notebook.

I checked off the sentence that said ‘Blackmail him and date him for now.’

Since I had succeeded, I also wrote ‘success’ small next to it.

The minimum period I had in mind was one year, and that had briefly plunged me into frustration, but thinking it over again in the taxi home, I thought, ‘Still, isn’t this pretty good?’

The outcome could have been far worse.

What I had done today was that kind of thing, and just because the results weren’t as good as hoped didn’t mean I could blame Gi In-hwa.

The unreasonable one wasn’t Gi In-hwa but me.

Gi In-hwa, who hadn’t gotten angry at me and had calmly even negotiated, is a Buddha or a Jesus.

Not that he’s holy to that degree—just that he was that detached.

The only emotion he had let show was that ‘sneer.’

The smile that had seemed, for an instant, to look down on me.

When I said I wanted to date him.

When I finally confessed that I had blackmailed him like that because I wanted to date him.

Near my heart, it felt as if an unhealed wound might reopen, so I quickly shook my head and erased the thought.

Then I gripped a pencil with an eraser and pressed down hard as I wrote in the notebook.

Win his heart within six months.

Time is tight, but since he is my destined partner, I will definitely succeed.

I read it over once carefully, then flipped the pencil and erased it.

I wrote again.

Make him realize within six months that Jo Yoon is his destined partner.

This sentence seemed a little better.

I set this as my second plan.

With a resolute heart, I added in small letters on the line below.

I will use any means necessary.

No matter how dirty or sneaky the method, I will use it without a twinge of conscience.

Do not forget that survival and quality of life are at stake.

I even drew stars on both sides of the last sentence.

Beside it I scribbled ‘shameless’ and ‘no face left to lose’ and circled them.

Satisfied, I scanned it once more with my eyes and closed the notebook.

Then I picked up my phone and found Gi In-hwa’s number.

I anxiously bit at my right thumbnail, and at last typed a message.

[Senior, it’s me. Jo Yoon, the one who’s dating you starting today. I’m texting to let you know I got home safely. This is my number, so please save it. Tomorrow is Saturday—what are you doing?]

The question about what he was doing tomorrow, Saturday, seemed too sudden and not smooth.

Still, after agonizing, I didn’t erase it and sent it as it was.

I waited ten minutes, but there was no reply.

I waited twenty minutes, and there was still no reply.

When it was almost thirty minutes and there was still no reply, I pulled out the fingernail I had been biting and picked up my phone again.

I began typing quickly.

[Senior, this is Jo Yoon. Since our relationship is far from an ordinary couple’s, I think we need a few rules. First, I’ve decided one. When you receive a message, unless there’s a special reason, don’t ignore it—always reply at least once. If possible, within twenty minutes. This is a rule, so please follow it. And don’t forget that there was an unfair transaction between you and me with both our futures at stake.]

I didn’t really like it, but I put the part reminding him of the ‘blackmail’ at the end.

It was an unavoidable choice for the relationship to progress.

As strong as Gi In-hwa’s repulsion toward me was, and as formidable a person as Gi In-hwa was, I also needed to push hard at the beginning.

After waiting about ten more minutes, the phone screen lit up.

A welcome name—Gi In-hwa.

[How did you get my number.]

It was an utterly cold one-liner, but it was the first message from him that had reached me.

A message like a treasure to keep forever.

I was happy.

Only now did it truly feel like I was dating him.

I had known Gi In-hwa’s number since high school.

I had pretended to have business in the senior-year teachers’ office, sneaked a look at his homeroom teacher’s desk, and memorized it.

We weren’t on speaking terms, so I had only kept it saved all this time.

I couldn’t recite my stalking history in detail, so I just sent ‘It’s a secret,’ a message that might be a little creepy from Gi In-hwa’s perspective.

There was no reply.

It was a message that didn’t require a reply.

I paused for a moment, then sent today’s last message.

[I may have secrets from you, senior, but I don’t lie. Sleep well, see you tomorrow.]