Chapter 3

In the dark street, even with only the cream-colored light spilling from the shop and the sign light overhead, Gi In-hwa’s face is dramatically framed.

From long ago, that was simply the kind of face he had—a face that sucked people in, bewitched them, devoured them; a face to which any similar expression could be attached; a face with a strangely strong pull.

The black pupils within his wide-open eyes gaze at me coolly.

Holding this newly discovered wonder, I gazed back into his eyes.

The cigarette smoke Gi In-hwa burns isn’t unpleasant.

Strangely, I thought it wasn’t unpleasant.

Not in the least nauseating, not irritating, and it doesn’t even seem harmful to my health.

Rather… it’s nice.

I don’t know why, but that was simply what I thought.

“Didn’t you call me because you had something to say?”

He asked low, flicking ash with his fingertip.

On his expressionless face, the same ennui lay spread, and boredom brushed across it.

Only then did I pull taut the nerves that had briefly slackened.

I had to pull myself together.

It wasn’t the time to wallow in private sentiment just because we’d met after so long, just because everything about him was welcome and gladdening.

This chance wasn’t something I could seize anytime I wanted.

Gi In-hwa isn’t unconditionally kind to everyone, and he observes basic courtesy and moral duty only to the extent possible.

His priorities are clear, and at the top of that list always stand two unchanging figures.

Naturally, I am not included in it, and I cannot be.

If I failed now, it would only become harder later.

Then my grand plan might completely go up in smoke, and I truly hated that.

Anxiety rushed in because I absolutely hated that, but I feigned calm as much as possible and nodded firmly, saying, “Yes. I have something to say.”

“Then say it. I’m going in once I finish this.”

It was as if he were pronouncing that was all the time he would allot me.

But if I were going to cower at that much attitude, I wouldn’t have planned this enormous thing at all.

I lifted the gaze I had briefly lowered and spoke in a strong voice.

“Speak casually to me. I’m your junior and younger.”

Besides, you spoke casually to me before, senior.

“Is that all you have to say?”

“No.”

“I don’t have time.”

Gi In-hwa raised the half-burned cigarette and slowly fitted the filter between his red lips, which looked as if blood had seeped into them.

I’d felt this before, but this person’s personality is subtly bad.

But when you look at him, he’s also subtly tender.

Look at him now.

I told him to speak casually, and he does.

I am about to throw stones at this prickly yet tender person, at this person’s cold yet warm heart.

First I swept my eyes around.

After confirming that all the club members were inside the restaurant and no one nearby was watching us, I steadied my breath and opened my mouth.

“What I’m about to do now is… blackmail. The target of the blackmail is you, Gi In-hwa, and the content of the blackmail concerns No Joo-eun.”

As if giving a class presentation, I brought out the introduction as prepared and glanced once at Gi In-hwa’s face.

Gi In-hwa had lowered his gaze slightly without any change in expression.

He seemed to be watching the cigarette in his hand burn down.

I couldn’t tell what he was thinking, and he showed no sign of replying, so I went straight to the main point.

“No Joo-eun dated Professor Choi Hyung-joo of the English Department from the winter of two years ago to last summer.

Professor Choi Hyung-joo is forty-five this year and married.

He even has two children, one in high school and one in middle school.

So the two of them were in an affair, and anyway they did break up, but after the breakup, Joo-eun went to the professor and lied that she was pregnant.

So Professor Choi gave Joo-eun twenty million won on the condition that she get rid of the child.

You probably didn’t know because you were in the military then, In-hwa, but this is all one hundred percent clear fact, with not a single lie.”

I spat out the words I had prepared and memorized down to a script in a small but clear voice, quickly, and then paused once.

I still had a lot left to say, but already my heart was pounding as if it would burst, and I was out of breath as if I’d just sprinted a hundred meters.

I had been aware from the start that I was doing something frightening.

If it was natural to be nervous, then it was natural.

But because I hadn’t expected such a violent physical reaction, I was somewhat flustered.

Meanwhile, Gi In-hwa, exhaling smoke as leisurely as if he existed in a completely different world from me, dropped his cigarette on the ground and asked impassively, “So?”

Already steeped in panic, I momentarily went blank at Gi In-hwa’s utterly calm reaction, so unexpected.

“So?”

So, what?

No, right, yes.

There were words that should follow.

I had to stop resting and quickly bring out the more important next words.

But, like a lie, I couldn’t remember the next order.

It felt as if I’d been hit by the stone I threw, as if I’d prepared a presentation so diligently only to have everything ruined by a single question from the professor midway through.

While I, thrown into confusion, repeated only “So… I mean… so…” Gi In-hwa picked up the cigarette butt he had thrown away.

“You said you’d blackmail me. I’m asking what you want.”

“…Ah.”

Fortunately, thanks to his kindly pointing it out, I recovered my memory and, without even managing to gather my confusion, continued like a machine.

“Yes, then, continuing… I came to know that fact unintentionally, through a truly accidental incident.

I can’t say now how I found out, but I thought that someday I definitely wanted to tell you, In-hwa, if no one else.

And also… once I knew, I thought I should use it to my advantage, and since an affair is a matter that very much deserves condemnation on social and moral grounds, and moreover since there was even an exchange of money between Joo-eun and Professor Choi Hyung-joo, if you reject my proposal, In-hwa, I intend to report this fact to the school, and I’ll write a formal complaint too.

If that happens, Joo-eun’s future…”

“Hey.”

I, who had been reciting memorized words almost in a trance, came to my senses at the suddenly interjected cool voice.

“Yes?”

“I’m asking what you want.”

That part was about to come out in just a moment, but this person couldn’t wait and cut me off.

My disappointment lasted only a moment; realizing that the time limit of ‘while I smoke one cigarette’ had already ended, I hurriedly replied.

“Dating you, senior.”

My heart, which had been pounding as if about to burst, seemed to truly burst the moment I uttered the final word, and now even tinnitus was ringing in my ears.

‘Dating you, senior.’

I thought that I had finally said it.

It hadn’t been smooth, but the plan had been carried out somehow, and now the ball had left my hands and passed to Gi In-hwa.

I stared only at Gi In-hwa’s face with the earnest heart of someone awaiting sentencing.

Even though I had blackmailed him by seizing his weakness, I was trembling so much it was as if I’d forgotten that.

Blankly, desperately, piercingly, I fixed my gaze only on his lips, where the verdict would be pronounced.

And because of that, I ended up seeing it.

For a very brief moment, a clear sneer brushed the corner of his mouth.

It was only an instant, but I saw it clearly, and I resented myself for having seen it.

“The period?”

But that was that, and this was this.

Since the sign of affirmation had come, I had to answer before he changed his mind, and since I was answering, I had to extract as much as possible.

Leaving my bleeding heart as it was, I became a cold negotiator and proposed.

“Indefinite…”

“No.”

Yeah, honestly, I knew this wouldn’t work.

“Until I graduate…”

“Can’t do that.”

Yeah, this one is also a bit much from Gi In-hwa’s perspective.

How would he know when I’ll graduate?

“Two years…”

“Too long.”

This is long too?

Well, sure, if it’s long, it’s a long time.

“Then one year.”

“…”

At Gi In-hwa’s silent gaze, filled with refusal, I felt like crying.

I thought it was unfair when I had yielded this much, and I also felt the frustration that, at this rate, the blackmail might as well not have worked.

It felt as if everything I had agonized over and prepared throughout last winter break was going up in smoke.

Almost in despair, I said, “Six months. I can’t back down any further either.”

Then Gi In-hwa finished the negotiation in a tone that was, rather, threatening: “Six months starting today. As long as it doesn’t interfere with my life. If you change your words later, you won’t be able to attend this school either. Because I intend to do exactly that.”

Starting today, of all things.

Today was already over.

He’s really skinning a flea for its liver.

That’s really too much.

Resentment rushed in like a tsunami.

I felt like I might truly cry, so I bit my lip and lowered my head.

I clutched the long, drooping sleeve with my fingertips as if wringing it out, as sagging as my shoulders.

Before I knew it, my palms were covered in cold sweat.

Too much.

Really.

I was looking only at the floor and repeating that in my head when Gi In-hwa, above the crown of my head, drove in the wedge in a low, unwavering voice.

“If you understand, answer.”