Chapter 64

It might sound obnoxious, but Woon Seong-ha had never once in his life thought of himself as lacking.

And why would he? Objectively speaking, he had it all.

A head taller than his peers, with the kind of height that turned heads. Features so clean-cut they looked sculpted. And a sharp mind that had kept his grades at the top of the class, right up until he’d had to set studying aside to make a living.

He was like a white heron, standing alone and unbothered in the middle of a mudflat of poverty.

As a child, whenever he walked through the market holding his grandmother’s or grandfather’s rough, work-worn hand, dressed in his shabby clothes, the grown-ups’ admiring remarks had followed him without fail.

“My goodness, look at that family’s grandson. That face is so bright it’s blinding!”

“Child, wherever you end up, you’ll never starve just sitting there looking like that.”

“Mm, that face alone could feed you.”

At times like that, young Seong-ha would simply duck his head, unmoved.

Of course, it wasn’t in Seong-ha’s nature to lie back under a persimmon tree and wait for fruit to fall into his mouth. Working himself to the bone to earn his own keep suited him far better than sitting still ever did.

Still, the fact that he never came up short next to anyone, anywhere, had always been a given to him — as natural as breathing.

But lately, for the first time in his life, Woon Seong-ha had started thinking he was pretty pathetic.

There was exactly one reason. Do Je-hyeon.

On his phone screen, Do Je-hyeon holding Sae-i in the rain.

And this morning, in the classroom, Joo Sae-i surrounded by her classmates, all of them talking about Do Je-hyeon.

This wasn’t even their first project together — it was their second. And the fact that Do Je-hyeon had become her acting partner, someone she traded aching, soulful looks with, turned Seong-ha’s stomach inside out.

…God, how pathetic can I get.

Seong-ha bit down on his lip.

In his head, the scene from earlier kept replaying — the moment Sae-i had spoken to him and he’d snapped back at her out of nowhere.

“How was it? Did I look okay?”

“Honey was practically dripping out of your eyes with Je-hyeon. Like you two were in your own little world. You looked great together.”

Her face, blinking in confusion at his biting tone, utterly lost as to why he’d said it that way.

The memory of those clear eyes made his stomach twist like something had curdled in it. Guilt and humiliation crashed over him in a wave.

A memory from before suddenly surfaced.

All those girls who’d been dazzled by his looks, confessed to him, and been flatly turned down — hurt by it.

Some of them, stung in their pride, had taken to snapping at him or getting needlessly irritated whenever they passed him.

Back then, he hadn’t understood it at all.

What’s with her? She’s the one who confessed and got rejected — why’s she taking it out on me? That had been about the extent of his sympathy.

But now, he understood those irrational, childish outbursts down to the bone.

It was jealousy.

The bitterness of not being looked at. The hurt of watching someone look at anyone but you. All of it tangled together into the single most foolish kind of spite in the world.

Maybe that was why Joo Su-yeon had tormented him too, back then.

Thinking that over only made him regret his own behavior more. I… I just did the same thing to Sae-i that Joo Su-yeon did to me.

…I’m never snapping at her again.

With a deep sigh, Seong-ha let his head drop onto the script lying on his desk. His eyes bored into the page as if trying to burn a hole through it.

Forget Do Je-hyeon — he wanted that seat beside her in the picture to be his.

He wanted to stand next to Sae-i already. He wanted to be the one acting opposite her, the one holding the whole of Joo Sae-i’s attention.

And to do that…

I have to try harder.

Woon Seong-ha’s grip on the script, dense with text, tightened until his knuckles went white.

A boy’s competitive streak, and his first love, were catching fire together.

Sae-i couldn’t stop thinking about how cold Woon Seong-ha had been to her all morning. Pretending to be diligently copying down notes from the blackboard, she quietly tore a corner off her notebook.

Seong-ha was still glaring at his script like he meant to chew through it.

She slid the neatly folded note toward him.

[Are you free after school?]

Woon Seong-ha’s eyes dropped to the note. He frowned for a moment, then picked up his mechanical pencil and scrawled an answer in crooked letters.

[Why?]

Just one word. Guess he’s still annoyed. Undeterred, Sae-i wrote again.

[You have your lesson with Teacher Seong Hye-sim today, right?]

[I wanna watch too]

Woon Seong-ha’s hand froze the instant he read the note. The pencil lead spun uselessly against the paper.

She’d expected an answer right away, but he pressed his lips shut and seemed to think it over for a long time.

…Guess that’s a little much to ask, huh?

Watching someone learn their craft could feel embarrassing to show off. And on top of that, he’d seemed unusually touchy today.

Meanwhile, Woon Seong-ha’s thoughts were a mess.

He was terrified his skills would look lacking.

In front of a Sae-i who’d already rehearsed opposite Do Je-hyeon on set, how small would he look, just going to some lesson?

If she sees me right after Do Je-hyeon… she’ll be disappointed.

As his hesitation dragged on, Sae-i carefully took the note back and added a few more words.

[If it’s too much just say no T.T]

[Sorry if I made this awkward!!!]

The moment Woon Seong-ha saw the word “sorry,” his heart dropped.

He glanced sideways and thought her shoulders looked slumped.

They weren’t, really — she was just leaning against her desk — but to a boy blinded by his crush, it looked like her whole world had just collapsed.

No, wait—

The guilt of having made Sae-i feel small swallowed his inferiority complex whole in an instant.

Disappointment or whatever else could wait — first he had to fix those drooping shoulders.

Flustered, Woon Seong-ha shot upright before he even realized what he was doing and blurted out loud.

“N-No! Let’s go right now! We’re definitely going!”

Have you lost your mind, Seong-ha…

Go where, right now? It’s after school, and this is first period…

“…?”

A silence followed.

Every pair of eyes in the room snapped toward Seong-ha and Sae-i at once.

Only then did it hit him. It was the middle of class, and in the middle of passing notes, he’d gone and shouted out loud without thinking.

Realizing what he’d done a beat too late, Seong-ha hung his head. His face turned a deep, ripe-tomato red.

“…Woon Seong-ha, Joo Sae-i. What exactly are you two doing over there!”

The teacher’s chalk flew through the air and landed precisely on Seong-ha’s desk.

“Both of you, go stand in the back!”

Thanks to Woon Seong-ha’s blunder, the two of us ended up banished to the back of the classroom, standing side by side.

Seong-ha stood with his ears burning red and his mouth shut tight, while I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing.

Standing through the rest of class turned out to be boring.

Naturally, I leaned toward the script Woon Seong-ha had open in front of him.

“What are you looking at?”

“…Here.”

Woon Seong-ha, a little stiffly, slid the script over toward me. I skimmed through it, nodding to myself.

He acted like he hated the idea just a minute ago, and then the second I said let’s go, he jumped up and shouted.

This back-and-forth mood swing. However I looked at it, there was really only one diagnosis.

Puberty. Classic puberty.

Huh? Storm and stress, they call it.

Boys really do get touchy around this age. Ryu Do-gyeong does it, Do Je-hyeon does it — they’re all snippy lately.

Guess I, in my boundless generosity, will just have to put up with it. I smiled good-naturedly and stole a glance at his now-meek profile.

Meanwhile, there was no room in Woon Seong-ha’s head for the script at all.

…Isn’t this a little too close?

Standing right beside him, Joo Sae-i’s presence felt overwhelming. Sharing one standing desk meant their shoulders nearly brushed — mostly because of his own size.

If he turned his head even slightly, he could see the crown of her head.

Next to him — well over six feet — Sae-i looked impossibly small. Her thin, pale hand rested near his own, much bigger one.

Standing side by side like this, the difference between them was obvious.

Joo Sae-i was small, and slender, and pale…

…She smells nice.

A faint, soap-like scent drifted up from the collar of her school shirt.

Woon Seong-ha swallowed hard. He was almost afraid the pounding of his own heart could be heard from where she stood.

“Seong-ha, this stage direction’s really good.”

Sae-i looked up at him, pointing to a note scrawled in the margin of the script. The instant their eyes met — clear, transparent eyes.

“W-What?”

“I said this is good.”

“Y-Yeah…”

Woon Seong-ha hastily jerked his gaze up to the ceiling. His face felt like it was about to burst.