Chapter 80 · I Resemble Him?

“Wh-what’s the matter, Commander?”

Paeon approached us with a serious expression. Rizen seemed startled that he had been called. Well, I was startled too, so that made sense.

“Your younger sister… I hear her condition is very bad right now.”

The moment Paeon spoke in a sunken voice, Rizen’s complexion deteriorated rapidly.

“I think she’s caught the plague.”

“!”

Rizen went pale and sprang to his feet.

“I-I have to go. I have to go right now. No, I need to fill out a leave request…”

Paeon spoke calmly to him as he babbled.

“I’ve already submitted the leave request for you. I’ve prepared a temple carriage outside, so go and get in.”

“Th-thank you. Thank you so much, Commander.”

Rizen was trembling pitifully. Seeing him like that made my heart ache. In the tall, sturdy young man he had become, I could see the fragile boy from three years ago who had been so afraid of being expelled from Veritas.

In the place where Rizen had left, the cheerful, boisterous atmosphere from earlier was gone without a trace, and a heavy silence settled.

“I hope Sir Tigris’s younger sister will be all right.”

“I know… Losing family is truly such a difficult thing.”

Freesia’s eyes grew moist as well, as if painful memories had surfaced for her.

‘If there is a god, he shouldn’t make kind children like Rizen sad, should he?’

In all my past lives, I had never directly experienced the plague, so having someone close to me affected made my heart heavy. I just prayed that Rizen’s sister would hold out until the herb of life bloomed. Once it bloomed, I would make it into medicine and bring it to her first.

◇ ◆ ◇

That night.

“Papa, has Rizen come back?”

“He returned not long ago.”

“I want to go see Rizen.”

“It’s too late at night. See him tomorrow.”

“I want to see him now.”

Paeon knew from experience that it was hard to bend me once I got like this, so he closed the book he was reading with a snap.

“Then I’ll call him here.”

“No, I should go to him! What are you even saying?”

When I looked at him in disbelief, he furrowed his brow.

“Sometimes the princess seems to forget her station… The princess is not one to go to someone when she wishes to see them—she is one to summon them.”

Does this man truly have no consideration? Is he telling a kid going through a hard time to come and go as he pleases?

“If you put it that way, Papa has no right to stop me from doing what I want either. Hurry up and take me to Rizen!”

“…”

He seemed at a loss for words and stood there, then finally rose from his seat. I don’t know why Paeon always starts fights he’s bound to lose.

The place I arrived at, holding his hand, was not Rizen’s quarters but the Hall of Prayer. The mysterious mist that was always there, and the refreshing sound of water falling into the waterway that was always the same.

‘Come to think of it, I fell in here when I was four.’

Since I usually prayed in the temple’s great hall or the royal family’s private prayer room, it had been a while since I came here. Beyond the entrance, I could see a figure prostrate before the altar at the center of the Hall of Prayer.

When Paeon was about to call out to him, I grabbed his collar and stopped him.

“Shh.”

And leaving Paeon at the entrance, I quietly walked toward the altar. Rizen didn’t notice until I was almost beside him and was sobbing. I whispered very softly.

“Rizen.”

Startled, Rizen raised his head, his face covered in tears.

“P-Princess?!”

He tried to scramble to his feet, so I gestured for him to stay seated and plopped down before the altar.

“Wh-why did you come all the way here? You should have called for me…”

“My knight is sad, so of course I should come. That’s what a princess does.”

He sniffled and smiled faintly. It was a pretty smile, just like when he was young. Rizen was the first friend I ever made, and I had been comforted so many times by that smile. Now it was my turn to comfort him.

“Is your sister in a lot of pain?”

“…”

He stared at the floor with a dark expression, then burst out as if pouring it all out.

“It’s foolish. Both my sister and my mother. She caught the disease a while ago, but they kept it from me until today. Because they were worried about me.”

“…”

“They’ve always been like that since I came to the temple. They never told me about anything difficult. I know how hard it is for the two of them to live alone… Even with the temple’s support, there are limits. I can only visit very occasionally, and…”

Tears welled in his eyes again.

“Receiving this power from God is a tremendous honor and something I’ll be grateful for until I die, but… for my family… honestly, I’m so sorry.”

Watching him like that, Leo’s words echoed in my head.

“They can’t marry, and they can’t retire as they please. They have to be separated from their families and live in the temple no matter what.”

The pain of being deprived of freedom existed for Rizen too. No matter that God granted him power, isn’t it great violence to demand only love for God in return? Fury surged within me, and I turned my head sharply to glare at the altar.

This Hall of Prayer is known as the place with the strongest prana in Santra and the space where communication with God is said to be best. I spoke loudly, as if for the god Lux to hear.

“Don’t worry. Rizen’s sister will definitely get better.”

“…Thank you.”

He seemed to take my words as empty comfort. Well, with no cure discovered anywhere yet, it must have sounded like hollow consolation.

“I’m going to make her better.”

“…?”

Rizen looked at me, puzzled.

“I’m researching a cure. Results will come soon. When it succeeds, I’ll make sure your sister is the first to receive it.”

“Is that true?!”

His face lit up in an instant.

“Of course. But in exchange, you have to let me meet your sister in person.”

“That’s of course all right! She’s been dying to see the princess.”

“Your sister knows me?”

“I talk about the princess every time I go home. Ah, of course, everything about the princess is a secret, but…”

“That’s surprising. I thought you’d only talk about Papa.”

He smiled with his tear-wet eyes half-closed and spoke in a tender voice.

“Did you know? The princess resembles the Commander.”

“What?”

My heart dropped and I cried out loudly. What nonsense was this boy suddenly spouting?

“The way you’re charismatic but kind—you resemble him. That’s also why I made up my mind to become the princess’s knight three years ago.”

“That can’t be. How is Papa kind? Rizen, you’re hopelessly biased.”

“That’s not true. The Commander is a truly kind person.”

Kind? The word ‘kind’ doesn’t suit him. That blunt, ill-mannered man, kind? If he’s kind, then all kind people have frozen to death!

And yet, strangely, these days when I think of him, a corner of my heart grows warm. There’s no way I could feel this way thinking of such a cold man…

“And he cherishes the princess very much.”

That much, I thought might be true. I wasn’t certain, though.

‘That’s right, I’ve just been softened by the thought that maybe that man cherishes me!’

What a weak-hearted person I am. How could someone this weak survive in this harsh world? The man who turned away from me for the sole reason that my mother died because of me. Am I to so easily embrace that heartless, irresponsible wretch in my heart?

‘Absolutely not. No, Anastasia.’

I gazed quietly into the deep waterway where the water cascaded down. That’s right, I had even thrown myself into the waterway to survive. And it was Paeon who made me do that.

Actually, it’s for the best. If he’s come to cherish me, it will be quite hard for him when I disappear, won’t it? I don’t know how much he cherishes me, but I hope it’s as painful as possible. At least as painful as the agony of my whole body burning.

Just as I was lost in thought, Rizen asked worriedly.

“Princess, did being told you resemble the Commander upset you…? I didn’t think you’d take it so seriously.”

“A-no! Still, you shouldn’t say things like that carelessly. If Papa hears, he might be horrified.”

“Why?”

Because that man is my real father. I didn’t say that and subtly changed the subject.

“Anyway, if God has any conscience, He’ll surely make Rizen’s sister better.”

“Y-you shouldn’t say things like that, Princess! Especially in a Hall of Prayer like this…”

Rizen looked alarmed and glanced around. As if the god Lux were actually watching.

“It’s fine. I’m a ‘child of God,’ aren’t I? I can say this much.”

He’s not a god who would listen just because I’m polite, anyway.

Rizen and I left the Hall of Prayer together. I was relieved that his complexion had improved considerably.

“Princess.”

Paeon, who had been leaning against the wall waiting for me, held out his hand to me with his ever-beautiful face. Looking at that heartless face, I felt he probably wouldn’t cry much when I disappeared. That irritated me and, somehow, made me sad.

◇ ◆ ◇

At dawn on the day it had been exactly one week, I couldn’t hold back my pounding heart and woke up three hours earlier than usual. And I secretly used portal magic to come to the greenhouse garden. Until I reached the pot in the secret space deep inside the garden, my heart pounded as if it would burst.

The moment I finally reached that spot.

“It spwouted!”

In the pot, a very cute little baby sprout of fresh green had pushed up through the soil. I held back the urge to dance for joy in the dark greenhouse and cheered inwardly. And I poured divine power generously onto that lovely sprout.

Now this sprout would feed on divine power, grow vigorously, and once it bloomed, it could be used as medicine.

“Wait, there’s someone I need to share this joyful news with!”

I hurriedly used portal magic again. And the moment my feet touched the familiar cold stone floor, I cried out softly.

“Weo!”

“…?”

Leo, still half-asleep and not fully awake, sat up groggily. His black hair, sticking up in a nest, was unbearably adorable. I threw myself at him.

“Ugh!”

“Weo, Weo, Weo! The spwout finally came up! We succeeded!”

As I hugged him and cheered with joy, he spoke in an urgent voice.

“W-wait… Anastasia! Let go of me first and talk!”

“Ah, sorry. Was it hard to breathe?”

I smiled and let go of Leo. His face was red all the way to the tips of his ears.

“You, you! I told you not to suddenly pounce on me like that.”

“But I was so happy. It’s all thanks to you, Weo!”

“What did I even do…”

He trailed off, looking embarrassed. Unable to calm my excitement, I whispered a plan I had now grown somewhat confident about.

“If things go well, I think I can get you out of this tower.”

“What? How?”

“It’s a secret for now.”

Seeing him look incredulous made my heart ache. How much must he have wanted to leave this place?

“It would be nice if Weo could go all the way back to his own country before I leave this pwace…”

At those words, Leo’s deep violet eyes flashed.

“You’re leaving?”