Chapter 69 · The Laselles Estate (2)

Both Paeon and I froze like statues. And whether we were frozen or not, the sound of arguing continued from beyond the door.

“What mother in the world would want to marry her precious son to a bastard! And to a bastard of Kalisan blood who took my husband from me!”

“Lottia, have you truly lost your mind? How dare you say such things! Do you have any idea what the princess has given us?”

“I never asked for it. Father decided on his own and brought it back. If the marriage was the price, I would have refused.”

“I never knew you were such a foolish child who couldn’t see an inch ahead!”

“He is my son. Not Father’s property. Please stop egging him on. He is still too young to make proper judgments!”

“Do you dare to ignore the years I have lived? To deny with that tiny head of yours the judgments that were always right! Princess Anastasia is the First Princess. The one who will ascend to the throne!”

“No one but Father thinks that. What good is being the First Princess? She’s a bastard! Who would acknowledge her?”

Having heard this much, I slid down the corridor. Trying my utmost not to make a sound. My breath caught in my throat. The lady’s voice echoed in my head. There wasn’t a single thing wrong with what she said, and that made it hurt all the more.

Having lived surrounded by warm goodwill for a while, words that pricked at my heart didn’t sit well with me. I had thought my heart had grown hard from being pierced again and again over several lives, but apparently not. I crouched by the window in a corner of the estate corridor and let out the breath I’d been holding. I sensed Paeon had followed me.

‘Why is he following me…’

I didn’t want to see him right now. Of all things, why did he have to hear that too? No, it wasn’t like there was anything bad about it. He was practically the root cause of all this. If I was hurting, he should hurt ten times more.

“Princess…”

At his voice, I cautiously raised my head. Paeon was crouched down following me, so his face was right before me.

His face, as always, was neat and cold like a marble sculpture. Apart from being handsome, this face that had seemed so devoid of emotion when I first saw it had been terrifying. Even after learning he was my biological father, it still was. But having spent nearly four years with him, I thought I understood now. That the emotion filling his eyes was suffering.

I hated him. I hated him so, so much. He had brought me into this world without being able to take responsibility, and he had always turned away from me as I rolled through the briars. And yet why can’t I hate him completely? Why does my chest ache at those sad-looking eyes?

“…Please don’t worry too much. The princess has done nothing wrong.”

He hesitated for a long while before speaking. His clumsy attempt at comfort made me let out a hollow laugh.

“That’s wight. Asha did nothing wong. Mom and Dad did.”

At that, Paeon flinched slightly.

“Princess Beatrice was not at fault either.”

Good grief, even in a situation like this, the way he tried to defend my mother was absurd.

“Then is onwy Asha’s dad at fault?”

“…Yes.”

“Whoevew he is, he’s a weally bad pewson.”

“…”

He bowed his head without answering. I wanted to say something harsher, but this much felt like enough venting, and my heart calmed a little.

“I should go back to Melvian. He’ll think I got twapped in the washwoom.”

I sprang up and dusted off my skirt.

“Papa, whewe did you leave the butlew?”

“Well… I came to find the princess…”

“Papa isn’t my shadow. The butlew must have been supwised.”

“When I said I was the princess’s knight, he understood.”

“Papa is my knight?”

“That’s right.”

I stopped walking and turned sharply to face him.

“What awe you talking about? My knights awe Wizen and Awk. Papa hasn’t even sworn a loyalty oath.”

“…If you wish, I will.”

What on earth is wrong with this man?

“Fowget it! Even if I accept Wizen and Awk, if Papa does that, both the temple and the woyal family will be in an upwoaw.”

I hurriedly ran up the stairs, flustered. Paeon has really gone strange. He must have eaten something bad! Does he think that will make me forgive him?

“Princess!”

Fortunately, when I went downstairs, Melvian and the others were gathered together.

“I looked for you for so long. Where were you?”

“Sir Parsiel got lost, so I rescued him.”

I forced down my dark expression and smiled innocently.

“Haha, even the Commander gets lost. Our estate is so large. I used to wander around looking for my mother for ages when I was young.”

When Melvian mentioned his mother, the earlier incident came to mind and my stomach churned again.

After that, even as I looked at the estate’s beautiful furniture and expensive collections, I couldn’t feel much. I just wanted to return to the temple quickly.

◇ ◆ ◇

By the time we finished dinner and were leaving the Laselles estate, the sun was hanging low.

In the end, Lady Laselles did not join us for dinner. Knowing what a tremendous rudeness that was, I felt a little bitter. How uncomfortable must she have been… Perhaps because of that, Marquis Laselles and Melvian also looked unhappy. Feeling I had unintentionally stirred up family discord, my heart grew heavy.

It had only been an ordinary outing to an estate, yet I felt as if ten years of energy had been drained from me. Hopefully Marquis Laselles wouldn’t invite me again for a while.

“I had such a wonderful time today.”

Mila smiled brightly in the carriage on the way back.

“Next time, I’ll invite you to my home, Princess. Honestly, I think our chef is better.”

Ark, perhaps his pride wounded by the Laselles estate being so large and imposing, had been eager to find fault with something for a while.

“Me, in the Ellenoa estate? That won’t happen unless Awk’s fathew gets stwuck by wightning.”

I answered with a long yawn. As expected, a child’s stamina really is hopeless. I’m dying of sleepiness.

“Princess, are you sleepy?”

When Freesia asked worriedly, Mila giggled.

“So cute~ You’re still like a baby.”

Ugh… A baby?! How much have I grown! My pride stung and I opened my eyes wide, but my eyelids kept drooping and my head lolled this way and that. Unable to bear it, Paeon laid me on his lap.

“Papa’s thigh is too hawd. It’s wike a stone pillow, so it’s not gweat.”

When I grumbled, Mila giggled softly.

“Hehe, Princess. The firmer a man’s thigh, the better.”

Is that so? Right now it’s not much use as a pillow. But no matter how uncomfortable, I couldn’t overcome fatigue, and I soon drifted off to sleep.

◇ ◆ ◇

After Anastasia fell asleep, everyone in the carriage watched her warmly.

“Sir Parsiel, you find the princess cute too, don’t you?”

Everyone was startled by Mila’s unreserved question. To speak to Paeon like that! It wasn’t something just anyone could do.

“…Yes.”

Despite his short, blunt answer, Mila smiled happily, hehe.

Paeon gazed at Anastasia sleeping soundly on his lap. Seeing her expression finally at peace made his heart ache even more. Watching her force smiles since earlier, he felt as if his heart were being carved out by deep guilt.

If even the Laselles family, who were favorably disposed toward Anastasia, said such things, what must it be like elsewhere? In the future too, she would have to face contempt and hatred beyond his imagination.

‘How could I have thought of leaving this person alone in a place like this and going away.’

His former self seemed dreadful and pathetic anew. In the end, he was nothing but a hypocrite and a coward who tried to flee from responsibility using God as an excuse.

Amid all this, there was a part he simply could not understand. In the conversation between Marquis Laselles and Lady Laselles, there were mentions of ‘what the princess gave us’ and ‘I never asked for it.’

He retraced the conversation he had shared with Marquis Laselles on the way to the Laselles estate.

Sylerton Laselles had been smiling faintly the whole time. But that smile was closer to an effort to soften the mood in an awkward space. Only after a long while did he open his mouth.

“Sir Parsiel, I have a favor to ask.”

“…What is it?”

“The person Anastasia likes and follows most is you, isn’t it?”

He thought that was completely wrong. There was no way Anastasia liked him. Setting aside his own personality that made it impossible to grow close to him, he had a history of trying to abandon her and leave.

That day three years ago, Anastasia had forgiven him, but he realized before long that it wasn’t sincere. She only pretended to forgive; deep down, she resented him.

“…That is not true. The princess does not like me.”

“Don’t talk nonsense. Isn’t it known to everyone that the princess regards you almost like a father?”

He hated those words terribly. That he, who had no qualification to be a father, appeared in others’ eyes as acting the part of her father… There could be nothing more revolting.

“Such words are far too generous for me. They would also be a burden to the princess.”

“Anyway, please persuade Princess Anastasia for me.”

“About what?”

“About betrothing her to my grandson. She seems quite reluctant…”

“I cannot do that. Isn’t the princess’s will the most important thing?”

“Do you not cherish the princess?”

At Marquis Laselles’s words, Paeon choked up.

“It is because I cherish her that I will not. Because I wish for the princess’s happiness.”

“Then all the more, you must persuade her. The only way for the princess to be happy is to form a solid tie with our family early on.”

“What is that—”

“I am saying that our family is the only one who can protect Princess Anastasia from Count Alter, Princess Stella, and the countless nobles.”

“…”

“You may be able to protect the princess’s body, but politically you can be of no help to her at all.”

He kept his silence and only clenched his fists. Marquis Laselles was right. He could not become any kind of strength for her.

“What is the reason?”

He asked in a dry voice.

“Why did you choose Princess Anastasia, Marquis? I cannot understand it as merely being antagonistic toward the Alter family.”

Marquis Laselles laughed heartily.

“Let’s call it foresight. At my age, I can roughly see what to place my bets on.”

With that conversation as the end, silence continued in the carriage until we reached our destination.

‘Judging from the conversation earlier, Marquis Laselles must have received something from her. Perhaps…’

He shook his head at the thought that immediately came to mind. It was too absurd.

‘The magic stone of Lake Rubor.’

How could she have given that to Marquis Laselles? Unless she truly had prophetic visions.

No, he had already experienced something similar. When she first came to the royal palace at four, she had said she had dreamed of exactly the same content as the oracle.

‘Could she really be having prophetic visions?’

But in history, the ends of those with prophetic abilities had always been grim. That ability was closer to a curse than a blessing.

‘Why do You give this person such a heavy burden?’

The small body on his lap was too frail to carry such a burden. Looking at her innocent sleeping face, Paeon resolved once more. As Marquis Laselles said, he might not be able to protect her politically, but at the very least, he would absolutely protect her life.

That was the only thing he, steeped in sin, could do.