Chapter 39 · Imperfect Happiness (1)

“What on earth just happened…!”

Freesia stared intently at the limp Tanian with a pale face, then spoke.

“I think he was cursed. A curse that kills you if you reveal the boss’s information. I’ve seen someone die that way… exactly once.”

Just what kind of person was this ‘boss’ to use such a chilling curse!

“So that’s why he never spilled any information no matter how much he was tortured. Because he’d die anyway…”

Rizen shook his head with a horrified face.

“Serves him right, but he was the only one from that group still alive. Catching the boss is back to square one now.”

Ark looked disappointed.

We watched for a moment as the guards cleared away his body, then returned to the temple. Freesia was gloomy and quiet the whole way back in the carriage.

‘As I thought, what that bastard said before he died must be bothering her…’

Even in death, he was nothing but a nuisance to the world. To drive a child who should have been brimming with joy and happiness into anxiety!

“Hey, why do you look so glum? If you want to survive at the academy, you’d better start practicing keeping your spirits up.”

At Ark’s words, she seemed even more uneasy. She wilted completely and bowed her head low. Ugh, you unhelpful boy!

Don’t worry, Freesia. I’m about to give you a miraculous makeover!

◇ ◆ ◇

“Th-this is me…?”

Freesia said in a trembling voice, looking at her reflection in the mirror. Once her long bangs that had covered her eyes were snipped away, her transparently shining violet eyes stood out clearly. With her damaged hair tidied into a fresh black bob, she was an utterly lovable little lady.

Perhaps because she had thrown off her rags and changed into a neat girl’s suit, she even looked intelligent.

“When the princess suddenly asked us to prepare clothes for a girl about twelve years old, I wondered what was going on—I never expected you’d bring such a cute little guest!”

Rosa said proudly, holding her scissors and wiping sweat from her forehead.

“This is our second masterpiece after the princess.”

“Don’t we seem totally talented?”

Rosa and Yuz’s eyes sparkled. It seemed that, having no occasion to dress themselves up in temple life, they had found a new joy in brushing, cutting, and dressing these little girls.

“Fwee sister, you’we so pwetty. Just wike a nobwe young wady!”

“A noble young lady…? Th-that’s too much.”

Her face turned red as a beet. But her earlier gloom was nowhere to be seen, replaced by a shy smile.

“Why is this taking so long? I’m starving to death.”

Ark threw the door open and walked in. Then he saw Freesia and started, shrinking back hesitantly.

“Wh-who is that?”

Freesia pouted at Ark, who hadn’t recognized her. At that, Ark’s face turned visibly red.

‘Well, well, look at that.’

“…The food is getting cold. If you’re done, hurry out.”

Following him as he bolted out, we went to the garden, where a long table was laden with all kinds of food. It must have been sent by the royal family—far off, Sierra was pulling a food cart.

Freesia didn’t know what to do with the feast of fine dishes she was seeing for the first time in her life. Clear turtle soup, cod dishes, lamb cutlets, olive beef, a great turkey dish, and even cheese fondue.

Honestly, my mouth was watering too. Having been cooped up in my room for so long, eating only simple meals, it always felt like I was barely eating at all.

“Papa, sit down quickwy too.”

When I tapped the seat beside me, Paeon, who had been watching us from a distance, shook his head as if to say he was fine.

“Hurry!”

“Please do as the princess says, Sir Parsiel. If you just stand there like that, the rest of us will get indigestion trying to eat.”

At Sierra’s cheerful words, Paeon awkwardly and cautiously sat down beside me. I pretended not to notice how much he was watching my every reaction. In any case, it was surprising that this man even had a sense of tact. It seemed my days of ignoring him had had some effect.

‘But I mustn’t misunderstand this as him turning over a new leaf or developing some special affection. Now that so many people know my life rests in his hands, he’s just worried.’

Meanwhile, Ark was restless throughout the whole meal. It was the first time I had ever seen him like that. He kept glancing at Freesia, and whenever their eyes were about to meet, he’d whip his head around and stare at the food.

‘So that’s his type, is it… He’s about to do something disastrous while he has a betrothed.’

So Ark’s taste ran toward neat, pretty girls. Considering her station, it was absurd, but honestly it was entertaining, so I just watched.

Rizen was a very kind and mannerly boy, so whenever Freesia seemed unsure how to eat a dish she’d never seen before, he’d smile warmly from across the table and explain. Freesia kept murmuring, “Thank you, Sir Rizen,” and each time, Ark looked displeased.

How would Stella react if she saw this? The very thought was delightful. I was grinning and watching them, even forgetting to eat, when Paeon suddenly rose and brought the plate of hotcakes from the center of the table over to me.

“…?”

When I stared at him blankly, bewildered, he said awkwardly.

“…You like them, don’t you.”

It took me a moment to understand what he meant. A laugh burst out of me on its own.

“Hahaha! Hahahaha! Papa has gone cweepy!”

“Gone creepy?”

His face flushed with embarrassment. My giggling made the three priestesses smile too.

“It seems Sir Parsiel has finally learned how to express goodwill.”

“Trials do make people grow.”

Their teasing made his face redder and redder. Rizen seemed surprised by this side of the commander he’d never seen before, and by the three priestesses treating him so casually. He still revered Paeon like a commander in the heavens. But I couldn’t stop laughing at the priestesses’ wit.

And I felt something very unfamiliar. My heart tingled as if a swarm of ants were marching through it.

‘What is this?’

The feeling didn’t fade easily. And those ants kept tickling my heart, making me laugh and laugh.

‘Strange.’

As I was investigating this curious symptom, Rizen suddenly cried out as if something had occurred to him.

“But why is no one talking about it?”

“?”

“About the princess being able to use divine power now!”

He was very excited as he looked at me.

“Ah…”

Having already seen the nobles make a huge fuss, I answered without much feeling.

“Ah? Is that all? You didn’t say a word to us and just—! We were worried sick thinking the princess was really ill!”

Ark sprang to his feet and said.

“A Polyops… This is my first time hearing of it. I didn’t even know such a thing existed.”

“Isn’t it also the first time a royal has manifested divine power?”

“What happens in a case like this? Does the princess become part of the temple?”

It wasn’t common, but nobles who manifested divine power had a choice. Whether to belong to the temple or not. But most didn’t want to be bound to the temple, where they’d have to give up all freedom and live a monastic life. Especially if they were the eldest son or daughter who had to carry on the family line.

This was exactly where I began to doubt whether a god named Lux really existed. Commoners and lowborn must join the temple unconditionally when they manifest divine power and spend their lives in service—but nobles are exempt from responsibility? A god who gives benefits selectively?

‘But seeing as I keep regressing, maybe there is one…’

If there weren’t a god, such a thing wouldn’t be possible. Then maybe it’s an evil god?

“It will probably be according to the princess’s choice. She only needs to decide before she comes of age, so there’s plenty of time. But whatever the princess decides, I hope she stays at the temple for a long, long time.”

Rosa said brightly, and my conscience pricked. I had absolutely no intention of belonging to the temple… Neither the royal family nor the temple was a place for me.

I…

Because I’m going to leave.

Only then did I realize what that feeling from earlier had been. I…

‘I was happy.’

But only an imperfect happiness. Happiness can only be fully savored when there are no elements of anxiety. Something I could never have as long as I remained in Santra, whether in the royal family or the temple. I clutched my chest until my fists turned white.

I mustn’t feel this for long. If I do, I might not be able to leave when the time comes. And if I die again, then it will hurt ten times, twenty times more than anything before. They say it’s far more painful to have happiness and then have it taken away.

But no matter how much I tried to calm myself, my little heart kept tingling for a long time.

◇ ◆ ◇

After the emergency state council, Alter’s humiliation became the most talked-about topic over drinks among the nobles. Especially among those who found the Alter family distasteful.

“It was the first time I’ve seen Count Alter lose his composure and shout with no trace of noble dignity. He was always such a composed man, wasn’t he?”

“Thanks to that, his pretense was exposed to the whole world. Pfft! To think he planned to raise his former betrothed’s bastard child with love… How hard must it have been for him to put on such an absurd play?”

“But Princess Aquila has been humiliated… I wonder how she’ll respond.”

“Since the adoption fell through, there’s no need to maintain the betrothal. Won’t she break it off?”

“Then Count Alter will have been abandoned by two members of the royal family. Who would want to be betrothed to that house now…”

And they also gossiped about the Laselles family’s windfall and the bastard princess’s astonishing ability. The king had forbidden mention of it for the princess’s safety, but rumors spread on wings, and nearly every noble came to know of the princess’s power.

They had not the slightest desire to support the bastard princess, but they realized it was now impossible to completely exclude her from the succession. The Laselles family seemed to be trying to exploit that quickly, and the various houses split as they sought their own interests.

A new political landscape had opened in Santra.