Chapter 10

Ten Minutes Before Running Away from the Pretty Witch

Good grief. This was unbelievable.

Did everyone in this neighborhood have eyes that were purely decorative?

And what was all this talk about a daughter? It had been ages since he’d gotten himself sterilized by burning the tubes shut, after being told that simply tying them off left a high chance of them reconnecting.

Cassian forced the alcohol down his throat.

He’d been with dozens of women over the years, but he’d never made a single mistake.

Even a bastard like me wouldn’t abandon his own child.

The little girl’s lips curled into a bright smile as she crunched on a chocolate cookie. Apparently, she liked it.

Her tiny white teeth looked so small and fragile. They were still baby teeth.

Her father must be an idiot, too.

He didn’t even know his own kid was staying at someone else’s house.

Then again, perhaps the woman had abandoned the child with a useless failure like him because the kid’s father was garbage that couldn’t even be recycled.

Anyway, this was driving him insane. Who knew taking care of a child would be this exhausting……?

He’d keep her with him until the end of the day, then take her to the orphanage as soon as the sun rose tomorrow.

“Looks like you like French fries. Here, have some more.”

Cassian dipped a French fry generously into the sauce and held it up to the little girl’s mouth.

Chomp!

The child accepted the food he offered her like a baby bird waiting for its mother to feed it.

“(It’s yummy!)”

Her short legs dangled and swung in the air. Good grief, she really seemed to like it.

Without thinking, he popped another French fry into her mouth.

Then he realized what he was doing and nearly jumped out of his skin.

‘M-Madness! It’s absolutely not because she’s too cute!’

Her face, beaming as she giggled and declared the food delicious, might have been a little cute, but that didn’t mean she was actually cute.

French fries were greasy, and if sauce got around her mouth while she ate, cleaning it up would be a hassle. He was simply helping her eat.

That was all.

Apart from that, he was merely showing extraordinary generosity thanks to his magnificent conscience, superior moral character, and kind heart.

He’d feed her like this just this once. After that, she’d have to eat by herself.

No, no. Not by herself. He’d kick her out.

Kick her out……?

Wouldn’t it be faster if he just ran away himself?

Cassian entertained these absurd thoughts until he was utterly exhausted, then let out a deep sigh.

“Boss, can you look after this kid for a few days? You’ve already got plenty of kids at home, so looking after one more shouldn’t be too much trouble. I’ll pay you handsomely.”

“How do I know you won’t run off for good after tossing me a measly amount of money? I don’t trust you.”

“Damn it. Didn’t you see me working the other day?”

“Pfft! Is shaking down assassins your job?”

At the owner’s openly derisive snort, Cassian glared at him before burying his nose in his glass.

Meanwhile, the little squirt kept chattering beside him.

“(Mister, I’ll compliment you every single day. So please let me live with you for a few thousan’ years. That orphanage looked really hard to live in.)”

Good grief. She was barely even a hatchling, yet she’d learned a few words and was already chirping away like a little bird.

Life was bitter, alcohol was sweet, and his mind was in turmoil.

Thinking that perhaps it would be nice to die young today, Cassian shouted,

“One more drink!”

This was the most serious predicament I’d faced since I suddenly found myself dumped in front of the mister’s house.

‘W-What should I do?’

I’d managed to return home clinging to the back of the drunken mister, but this was a problem I couldn’t solve on my own.

Teacher Marianne and Uncle Michael weren’t here, so there was no one to fight the bed monster for me if it appeared.

In other words……

‘I’m scared to sleep alone……’

It was embarrassing to admit, but I still needed someone beside me to pat me gently before I could fall asleep.

At Sunshine Orphanage, Teacher Anne-Marie would pat me before bedtime, or I’d sleep snuggled up tightly with my friends.

I’d even have been happy with Totosun, the rabbit plushie I could hug while sleeping, but there was nothing like that here.

I sat alone on the sofa, unsure what to do, when a wonderful idea suddenly occurred to me.

‘That’s it!’

I could gently pat the tipsy mister until he fell asleep, then quietly lie down beside him and fall asleep, too.

That way, I wouldn’t have to sleep alone, and the mister would have someone to pat him gently!

‘It’s the perfect solution!’

I quickly jumped off the sofa and dashed into the mister’s bedroom.

He was lying diagonally across his bed, snoring loudly.

Khuuuuurrrrr……

Every time he exhaled, the awful smell of alcohol wafted toward me, and I had to cover my nose.

“(Mister, I’ll pat you gently!)”

I climbed onto the bed and began patting his exposed belly, which stuck out because his shirt had ridden up.

If I slept with my belly exposed like the monster mister, my stomach would hurt the next day, and I wouldn’t be able to eat anything.

“(Pyororong! Be healthy, abracadabra!)”

I cast a little spell on him, then covered his belly with the blanket I’d been using while staying here.

After that, I wriggled into the quilt beside him.

Sunshine Orphanage had always been warm, but nights in the Empire were cold. If you didn’t dress warmly enough, you’d end up shivering.

“Sleep, sleep, my little baby.”

I curled up, wrapped my arms around myself, and gently patted my body.

I even sang the lullaby Mom used to sing to me.

‘I miss Mom……’

As I tried to remember Mom’s scent, which I’d mostly forgotten by now, I thought of Teacher Anne-Marie, who used to smile at me just like Mom.

I also remembered Uncle Michael and the candy he used to give me.

Still, I couldn’t fall asleep, so I rolled around and tightly grabbed the sleeping mister’s hand.

‘It’s okay. The mister is really good at running, so if the bed monster appears, he’ll carry me on his back and run away with me.’

Khuuuuurrr…… Khuuuuurrr……

As I listened to the mister’s breathing, my eyes slowly began to close.

Oh, wait!

“(Good night!)”

A good child always remembers to say good night.

It was nice being beside the mister because I didn’t have to worry about the bed monster.

Whenever he fell asleep without the help of alcohol, the same dream of a woman invariably returned.

“Cassian. Please die.”

It was an old story.

An utterly ordinary tale woven from happiness and tragedy, sorrow and despair.

The instant a gleaming sword pierced his heart, he thought of a flushed cheek and a tiny hand.

Iris.

Yes. I’d gladly die for you.

Hundreds, thousands of times over.

Even though it was a dream, he could feel the horrible pain.

But he knew how this day ended, so he also knew that this wasn’t true suffering.

True despair came after he’d spilled his blood, when the magic failed.

The woman, utterly despairing.

Him, left completely devastated.

And the one thing that could never return……

“Ah.”

His consciousness was forcibly dragged back to the surface.

Was it a dream?

Cassian stared blankly at the little girl.

Her closed eyes resembled Iris’s.

So did her thick eyelashes and neatly shaped eyebrows.

Her milky-white skin and soft, steady breathing, too.

Overcome with anguish, he struggled to breathe and closed his eyes.

Iris was dead.

Iris is dead.

She’d been dead and buried for a long time.

He knew that perfectly well and had accepted it.

So this wasn’t because he wanted to deny reality. It was simply that the little squirt looked unusually similar to Iris.

Whenever he looked at her, his chest ached for no reason.

His heart, which had once been torn open and bled like crazy, had been completely healed long ago. Yet it felt as though it had been pierced all over again.

Damn it.

Cassian abruptly tried to get up to escape from the little girl.

Or at least, that was what he intended to do.

There was only one reason he couldn’t get up.

“Ah.”

It was the chestnut-sized hand wrapped around his finger.

Cassian stared at that tiny hand, completely dumbfounded.

Did you know how strong a newborn baby’s grip could be?

Driven by the instinct to cling to its mother, a baby could hold on with surprising tenacity, enough to startle even an adult.

But the little squirt in front of him wasn’t a newborn.

She was a toddler who could talk and walk, and who at least vaguely resembled a proper human being.

She was fast asleep, and there was hardly any strength in the hand holding him.

Even if she had a firm grip, all he needed to do was twist his finger slightly to free himself.

For a war hero who had cut down monsters, that should have been child’s play.

And yet Cassian couldn’t bring himself to remove her hand.

Because it was so small.

Because her milky-white skin looked so soft.

Because he was afraid he might hurt her if he applied any force.

Because the existence of such a tiny, delicate creature filled him with a sense of wonder.

And because she resembled Iris.

“Ugh!”

At that moment, Cassian felt nausea rising in his throat and clapped a hand over his mouth.

The deep, overwhelming love that had once settled into his heart.

The tender affection that had made him want to give her everything in the world.

Even after Iris’s death, those feelings remained deeply embedded in his heart. And because of them, he couldn’t find the courage to turn away from a child’s touch.

Iris is dead. She’s dead!

So don’t get attached to this child.

Smack! Smack!

He slapped his own cheeks.

This child could never replace Iris, nor should she.

Just as Cassian struggled alone, trembling with anguish—

“Yaaawn!”

The little squirt opened her eyes.

Whoosh!

She sprang up as soon as she recognized him. After rolling her round eyes around, she gave him the clear, innocent smile of a child who had grown up being loved.

“Hehe.”

Iris’s face overlapped with the little girl’s.

Iris.

The woman he’d loved more than anyone in the world, and the only daughter he’d had with her, who looked just like him……

At that moment, Cassian could no longer hold it in. He rushed to the bathroom and vomited everything in his stomach.