Chapter 7

“Is something uncomfortable, Saya?”

The coffee house was dimly lit. It seemed to have been chosen deliberately, since it was a place for lovers. With the low lighting, people tended to be discreet about things like kissing.

The man deliberately sat down right beside me. Feeling as though the discomfort was entirely mine to bear, I shook my head.

“I’m fine.”

“With a face like that, you’re bound to be found out.”

He smiled gently and pointed out my expression. He was right. I followed his lead and smiled as brightly as I could.

He pushed aside a glowing orb that floated in the air. The lighting dimmed further, and the surroundings quickly grew dark. We would be less visible to others now.

“Much better, isn’t it?”

“…I suppose so.”

Just as he said, with the light gone it was far easier to move. I no longer had to manage my expression, either.

“So who exactly are we supposed to be found out by?”

“By unspecified people?”

He said that and reached out. He slipped his hand under my hood and tilted my face back slightly so it would show.

“For that, you need to be visible at least this much.”

As his touch brushed my hair, that spot tingled.

Coffee was set before us, and the employee’s gaze lingered on the man before withdrawing. But the man looked only at me, with a face as though the employee’s gaze had not touched even the smallest nerve.

“I have a question.”

“What is it?”

Since I needed to say something to make it look natural, his question was welcome.

I had no talent whatsoever for socializing. Especially not with a man this handsome. I was only enduring it because of the circumstances.

“Why are you trying to find that person?”

“I told you. Because she’s an old friend…”

“If she was such a precious friend, couldn’t you have just kept in contact from the beginning?”

Nolmen Erdona had wanted me to sever all ties with the orphanage completely. There was nothing in Erdona I could do as I pleased. He wanted me to belong thoroughly to Erdona, so he isolated me.

Until I had acquired the manners and knowledge befitting one of the Erdonas, he did not allow me to step even a single foot outside the estate.

Under his sharp gaze, I felt as though I were being interrogated by Chadie herself. But his question was personal. It was not something a mere employee handling a request needed to know.

“I can explain that once I meet Chadie.”

“Then you should be able to explain it to me as well.”

“Why?”

At my question, Chadwick was silent for a moment.

“…Actually, we’ve found someone who might be Chadie.”

“Really?”

When I unconsciously raised my voice, Chadwick quickly covered my mouth. Because of that, the distance between him and me closed abruptly.

“…You mustn’t raise your voice.”

He removed his palm and whispered into my ear so as not to look suspicious.

“The person is quite suspicious of everything.”

At the sudden whisper, the fine hairs on the back of my neck seemed to stand on end. He smiled and drew away from me. He was full of ease, like someone teasing a real lover.

It seemed Chadie’s childhood germaphobia was still the same even now. Thinking of the young Chadie, I smiled without realizing it.

Chadwick was still keeping close.

“So you’ll need to give that person an answer they can accept.”

I took a moment to collect myself. It had been a long time since I had told anyone about my past.

The first time had been with Kirill.

“You may have noticed, but I’m also from the Dollin Orphanage.”

“……”

“I was adopted before Chadie. Even after I was adopted, I tried to keep in contact with the orphanage, but I was not allowed to.”

“By the people who adopted you?”

I nodded slightly. I had never told even Kirill this much detail about my circumstances.

With Kirill, I had gone out of my way to hide the fact that Nolmen Erdona persecuted me. Back then, I believed that to be worthy of Kirill, I had to become thoroughly one of the Erdonas.

‘All of it was pointless.’

I erased the useless thoughts and continued.

“And by the time I was able to look for her later, the Dollin Orphanage had disappeared.”

“…I see.”

The man nodded slightly, his face expressionless as though lost in thought.

“Even if I explain, I want to do it in person, so please arrange a meeting as soon as possible.”

“…I’ll relay that as it is.”

“Thank you.”

I finished speaking and took a sip of coffee. The aroma of the now lukewarm coffee was strong.

“Come to think of it, I don’t even know your name.”

“My name, you mean.”

“Yes.”

He stiffened as though I had asked something I should not have. He did not look like the man who had been smiling so brightly just moments ago.

Well, it made sense that a guild master’s information would not be good to have spread around. Thinking I had asked something unnecessary, I opened my mouth again.

“I’m sorry. You don’t have to tell me…”

“It’s Chadwick.”

“…No surname?”

“Just call me Chadwick.”

At his firm voice, I nodded.

Chadwick, Chadwick. It sounded like a name I had heard somewhere many times, but I could not remember.

‘Did I see it in the peerage register?’

The first thing I had done after coming to Erdona was memorize that tiresome peerage register from cover to cover. Which family had whom, whose son was whose son-in-law. Things like that.

‘Then is this man a noble as well?’

Just then, the door of the coffee house opened with a loud chime. I could not take my eyes off the door, like an animal caught in a trap.

“Do you know them?”

Of course I did. The people who had entered were Kirill and Gizelle. The two of them came in naturally and were being shown to a table.

They did not seem to have noticed me yet. I pulled my hood down further to cover my face.

“Yes. I know them. There’s nothing good about being caught.”

“…Hmm.”

I did not know whether Kirill had seen the correction article or not, but I did not want to be caught by him. I did not yet have the confidence to endure his contemptuous gaze.

“Let’s go now.”

“Let’s.”

Fortunately, Chadwick asked nothing. I pulled my hood fully over my head and pressed close to Chadwick’s side.

Kirill and Gizelle were walking toward us from the opposite direction. Please, just let them pass by. Please, please…

“Could that be, Saya?”

Gizelle’s voice rang out, small but clear. The two of them stopped right in front of the table where I sat.

When I raised my head, Gizelle and Kirill were looking down at me.

“So it wasn’t a complete lie after all. The lover, I mean.”

Gizelle’s face was pale, as though she had been struck. Kirill stood beside her, staring down at me blankly.

His gaze suffocated me. There was contempt in Kirill’s eyes.

No, his gaze was not on me. Kirill’s eyes were fixed on Chadwick. And the more they were, the tighter Chadwick intertwined his fingers with mine.

“Saya, do you know them?”

“No. Let’s go quickly.”

I wanted to escape Kirill’s gaze as soon as possible. My heart pounded as though it would burst.

I passed by Kirill with Chadwick. Even then, Kirill stood as though nailed in place.

* * *

“You’ve seemed out of sorts for a while now.”

At Chadwick’s words, I raised my head.

The carriage was large enough to seat six at least. I nearly applauded the guild’s financial power once again.

I slowly shook my head.

“I’m just tired.”

“Who was that?”

“……”

He asked a great many questions. As though the client were him, not me. At first I had answered one by one without much thought, but gradually I had closed my mouth.

What did I trust him with, to go spilling my private affairs? I had only asked him for a request, and nothing else had anything to do with that request.

“That’s none of your concern.”

My voice was far colder than before, because I was in a bad mood. Even so, he maintained a relaxed expression, as though it hardly mattered.

“There is one thing I’m curious about.”

“What?”

“If Chadie doesn’t want to see you, what will you do?”

“……”

He seemed to know that the way to get me to open my mouth was to ask about Chadie.

I had no choice but to meet his eyes. My heart, which had sunk endlessly from Kirill’s gaze just moments before, sank even deeper.

‘If Chadie doesn’t want to see me…’

No matter how much I agonized over it, my answer did not change. Rejection was familiar.

Not once had I ever felt that I belonged somewhere. The only future I had ever hoped for was with Kirill, but he did not want me. Rejecting, and being rejected again and again.

And on top of that, being engaged to someone who did not even know me well.

There was no one anywhere who needed me. In this world, I was nothing but an impurity.

Perhaps the reason I had wanted to find Chadie stemmed from the impure hope that she might still need me now.

“I can understand that.”

“You understand that she might not want to see me?”

“Yes. I would feel the same.”

After all, I was the one who had broken my promise and left her there alone.

“……”

Before I knew it, the carriage had arrived a short distance from the Erdona estate. I had no intention of riding all the way to the front of the residence.

“Thank you for bringing me. I trust you’ll handle the rest thoroughly.”

“…You needn’t worry. As for finding Chadie, I will give you a definite answer next time.”

“Yes.”

The moment I stepped from the carriage, a cold wind wrapped around me. When I let out a sigh, white breath scattered in the air.

It seemed winter would soon be here. My only thought was that I wanted to reach the warm southern countryside of Trillin before winter fully set in.