Chapter 18

Startled by the sudden voice, I dropped to the floor. Raising myself from the bed had been for nothing.

Behind me—since when, I did not know, perhaps from the very moment I opened my eyes—Pavel sat on a couch with his legs crossed.

“…Your Highness.”

“Why not try calling me by name again.”

“That is…”

His suspicion was plausible, but I felt a little wronged. I had never once let his name slip from my lips like that.

And of all moments, the very first time I called his name had to be overheard by the man himself!

“Did I collapse?”

“Now you know how to change the subject, too.”

“……”

Since I had indeed changed the subject, I had nothing to say. I waited for his answer with considerable shamelessness.

A very faint smile flickered at the corner of his mouth and vanished.

‘He smiled?’

Lately I kept feeling as though I was witnessing unfamiliar sides of Pavel.

Of course, Pavel smiled often enough in his usual way. Only the corners of his mouth, without the slightest movement in his eyes. Like a marionette that had been taught that lifting the corners of the mouth was what smiling meant.

Pavel, who had been watching me sprawled on the floor as though finding it amusing, suddenly rose to his feet.

“How long do you intend to stay like that?”

“Ah, I…”

Making a foolish sound, I hastily braced my hands on the floor to get up.

My body, raised in haste, was fortunately in far better condition than before. It had quickly returned to something close to my usual state.

As I straightened my clothes and tried to avoid his gaze, Pavel let out a deep sigh, as though dragged up from somewhere deep underground.

“Wh-what are you doing…”

“Stay still.”

His hand, which had approached before I knew it, reached toward the nape of my neck. Flustered, I stammered, and Pavel spoke as though issuing a command.

His fingers picked up a hairpin that was barely dangling near my collarbone.

It seemed the hairpin that had held back the side of my hair had come loose when I collapsed.

“You look a mess right now.”

He furrowed his brow as though it were some great problem. And yet all that had happened to me was a few wrinkles on otherwise perfect outing clothes.

“You seem utterly incapable of hiding your emotions.”

“…Me?”

“You’re making an aggrieved face right now, too.”

Just as he said, I was indeed feeling aggrieved by his words.

Knowing that if I continued the conversation this way, I would dig my own grave endlessly, I cleared my throat and asked him again.

“Ahem. Did I collapse?”

“Can you not see for yourself?”

Of course I knew that. What I meant was whether he had been the one to find me collapsed, but…

“According to the imperial physician, it seems your energy was suddenly depleted.”

“My energy?”

“He also said it seemed you had suddenly used a great deal of power.”

“……”

He seemed to expect me to nod with an exclamation of understanding once I heard his words.

When I still wore a puzzled expression even after hearing everything, his brow arched into an even steeper curve.

“I suppose I’ve had a lot on my mind lately.”

If not that, there was no particular reason. I must have accumulated more stress than I realized.

“Enough to suddenly deplete your energy?”

Pavel was persistent, as though expecting some answer from me.

“What power?”

He almost seemed to be coaxing a particular answer out of me. This time I did not hide my curiosity and tilted my head.

“…Never mind. The carriage is prepared, so go on now.”

“Gizelle…”

“I told her you were resting briefly because you were feeling unwell.”

“…Thank you.”

Gizelle was fervent about Pavel. Gizelle, who had never failed to obtain anything she wanted, had one sole craving—Pavel. How must she have felt when Pavel delivered news about me?

‘She must want to kill me right about now.’

The thought was satisfying, and yet it gave me a headache. Once I returned to the Erdona estate, another round of bickering seemed certain.

“Then I will see you next time, Your Highness. Thank you for not turning away from me and looking after me when I collapsed.”

“Surely it is my imagination that that sounded entirely like an insult?”

“…Goodbye, then.”

At my belated farewell, Pavel finally let out a hollow laugh.

Perhaps because my body was weary, even my fear of Pavel felt fainter.

Even before I stepped down from the carriage, I could feel Gizelle’s fierce aura. I felt like staying in the carriage and turning the wheels to go anywhere else.

Behind the furious Gizelle, Jessie was looking at me with a worried face.

After taking a deep breath, I opened the door and stepped out.

“What are you scheming?”

At the same moment, Gizelle’s sharp voice pierced me.

“What scheme would I have? You’re the one with ulterior motives.”

“Now you’re trying to catch His Highness Pavel’s eye?”

“…You really are consistent in your thinking. Do you think I’m you?”

“What could be hard for you! I’m the one who used my power! Tell me, what are you scheming!”

I ignored Gizelle and walked on, then suddenly stopped. There was some truth to her words. Gizelle must have expended an enormous amount of stamina at the barrier ritual.

Dragging that exhausted body out here to confront me—she must have been that uneasy.

“Why? Are you afraid His Highness might take an interest in me instead of you?”

“What?”

Gizelle, caught off guard by my hitting the mark, visibly grew flustered.

“I suppose so.”

“You…”

Just as I was about to walk past her, I stopped and stepped closer to Gizelle. Her pallor was plainly visible.

‘You really are something, too.’

“If you’re tired, go and rest, Gizelle. Even for someone destined to become the next imperial mage, the barrier ritual must have been too much.”

“…How dare a wretch like you.”

The more she spoke, the more strength seemed to drain from her, until even her lips turned pale. The sight was somewhat pitiful, but at the moment I did not even want to look at her.

“At this rate, you’ll say my scheme was making you collapse, too.”

“…Saya.”

Gizelle, who had barely managed to utter my name, bit her lip and trembled. She seemed utterly indignant at not being able to get a proper word in against me.

‘Getting angry at me only hurts you.’

“Then rest, Gizelle.”

Gizelle, unable to strike back even at the end, soon staggered. Moments later, her maids rushed to support her.

“…Are you all right?”

Only Jessie came over and checked my complexion. Actually, my stomach had been queasy again for a while. I was proud of Jessie for noticing.

“Let’s hurry upstairs.”

I did not want to lose a won battle by staggering.

It was several days after the barrier ritual.

One morning, Jessie climbed the stairs grunting under an armful of mail addressed to me.

“What is all this?”

“I don’t know either. It says they’re price offers?”

Jessie handed me the mail with wide eyes. They were offers to buy the Trillin estate I had purchased for several times what I had paid. There was a whole pile of them.

I did not know why anyone would pay such a price for that estate, but now that things had come to this, living in that house was out of the question.

Whatever the reason, a desirable property was highly likely to be coveted by nobles in the future. Unless I wanted rumors spreading that the Red Erdona who had fled the capital was living in Trillin, I had to give up that estate.

‘Surely not… No, it can’t be.’

The memory of running into Pavel on my way out after meeting the agent a few days ago came to mind, but I quickly shook my head. I should not even speak such thoughts aloud. Shoo, shoo!

So I had no choice but to decide to sell the Trillin estate. The good news was that I had accidentally become someone who had succeeded at speculation.

‘With this money, I should be able to find a better estate.’

And so today, Jessie and I were to take a carriage to the outskirts, an hour away, to look at estates.

My body had been weak ever since the barrier ritual, but I could not delay any longer. There was no better time to leave the Erdona estate than now.

After the Imperial Grandson invited me to the barrier ritual, the whispers about me had died down, and Gizelle still had not recovered her strength since the ritual.

Kirill was not in the capital, and Pavel had not come to the Erdona estate either. The matter of finding Chadie had also reached a lull, since I had agreed to help the guild.

Now all I needed was a way to stay in contact with Cersi even after leaving Erdona. Since Cersi was a mage organization, finding such a method would be no problem at all.

‘Now is truly the right time!’

I had dragged my weary body out, but mentally I was not tired in the least.

“Jessie, are you all ready?”

“Yes! Almost done!”

Jessie handed me silk gloves and smiled brightly. Was it really that wonderful?

Suddenly I recalled the time not long after I had first brought Jessie in. Jessie had treated me strictly as her employer. She had done whatever I asked even then, but there had been more desperation in it. She must have thought that if she fell out of my favor, she would lose the job she had been lucky to get and end up back on the streets.

“…Jessie, are you crying right now?”

“I-I’m sorry, my lady. Please don’t dismiss me.”

Jessie had spilled the water she was bringing me to wash my face. It was nothing—just a carpet deeply stained. But Jessie knelt before me as though she had committed some terrible sin and begged for forgiveness.

Watching tears plop from those big eyes, I felt terribly sorry for her. It must have been her first time in such a position, and being the sole means of support for her family must have weighed heavily on her.

I should have noticed that first—it was my failing.

I took Jessie’s hand and raised her up. As I agonized over what to say to comfort her, the more I hesitated, the more frightened she became.