“Why? Why do you like me?”
“B-because you’re like an angel d-descended from the s-sky.”
Jaelin, her ears flushed bright red, stammered out her answer.
It was a truly foolish and trivial reason.
“A-and you’re kind and g-gentle. Th-that’s why I like you, Young Master.”
“I’m kind and gentle?”
The child before him nodded innocently.
‘That’s all fake, you know. Just a performance. What’s so good about that cheap imitation of kindness?’
Lionel suddenly grew curious.
‘Would you still like me if I were mean to you? If I showed you the real me, not the fake gentleness?’
Just then, a maid brought out snacks.
Freshly squeezed orange juice and cookies generously filled with apple jam were placed before Jaelin and Lionel.
Lionel stared down at the snacks for a moment, then raised his head.
Jaelin, who had swallowed hard, had her gaze glued to the snack plate.
Lionel propped his chin crookedly on one hand and lowered his eyes.
“Then does Jaelin like eating cookies more? Or does she like me more?”
At Lionel’s question, the child squirmed bashfully and then answered in a whisper.
“I-I like you more, Young Master.”
With any other child, he would have ended it there.
He would have simply said, kindly, that he was grateful for their affection, that he too considered them a dear friend.
But he did not want to do that with Jaelin.
A cruel urge to torment her until she cried quietly raised its head from within Lionel.
He wanted to test her.
Whether she liked him enough to give up the cookies. What exactly was this feeling she could call liking him, and how far it could go.
He was simply curious.
Lionel pulled the snack plate before Jaelin toward himself.
“Then I don’t have to give you these, right? Since you like me more.”
Jaelin, her eyes growing wide, soon nodded.
Lionel put a sweet-smelling cookie into his mouth.
The cookie, studded with cloyingly sweet apple jam, dissolved stickily in his mouth.
It was a sickeningly sweet taste. He truly hated sweets, but he forced it down.
Lionel stared intently at Jaelin as he put even her share of the cookies into his mouth.
‘Can you still like me after this?’
Jaelin, who had been watching Lionel, soon lowered her gaze.
Her eyes, sunken in disappointment, burrowed into her book.
‘You say you like me, so why do you make those eyes over something as small as this?’
Lionel’s mood plummeted rapidly.
Even after a long while, Jaelin’s gaze, nailed to the intermediate rune textbook, would not come off it.
Her small hand holding the pencil slowly wrote formulas in the margins of the textbook.
He did not like it.
Come to think of it, the fountain pen and paper he had given her had vanished somewhere, and she had gone back to using the pencil she had before.
“Jaelin.”
Jaelin finally lifted her gaze from the textbook and looked at Lionel.
Without even knowing what was displeasing him, Lionel crafted a gentle smile.
“Where did the fountain pen I gave you go?”
Jaelin lowered her eyes and bit her lip.
After hesitating for a moment, Jaelin barely managed to speak.
“I-I’m sorry. I l-lost it.”
“It’s all right. That happens.”
Lionel spoke in a kind voice and smiled bitterly.
Perhaps because she thought he was disappointed, Jaelin bowed her head deeply and could not bring herself to lift it.
‘If you were going to look so sorry before me, you should have taken better care of it. If you had thought of it even a quarter as much as you treasure that intermediate rune textbook of yours, you wouldn’t have lost it so easily.’
He was angry at Jaelin for losing the item he had given her so easily.
Suddenly, a good idea came to mind. Lionel knew exactly what Jaelin truly cherished.
‘If I take away what you treasure most, will you still like me?’
Lionel, resting his chin idly, asked Jaelin.
“By the way, runes—are they really that fun?”
“Y-yes. They’re f-fun.”
“Why?”
“B-because it’s the only thing I-I can do.”
“I see. Since you enjoy it so much, I’m getting a little interested too. I’d like to learn.”
Perhaps because he had chosen a subject she was interested in, Jaelin’s face, looking up at Lionel, bloomed brightly.
“I-if you learn it too, Young Master, you’ll d-definitely come to like runes.”
“So, about that—could you lend me your book?”
“Y-yes?”
“Why are you so surprised? Since you became good at runes with that book, I think I could study well with it too.”
“Ah……”
Jaelin hesitated for a long while, tugging at her tattered sleeve ends.
Jaelin, crumbling before Lionel’s smile, finally held out the book in her hands.
“H-here.”
Lionel took the worn-out book. The tattered book was in such a state that he did not even want to touch it.
“Thank you. I’ll read it and be sure to return it when you come next time.”
Only then did Jaelin’s expression, frozen stiff as ice, soften a little.
The week flew by, and the day returned when Jaelin and Lionel spent time together.
Lionel took Jaelin to the cave.
He had taught her how to carve, but that day Jaelin could not concentrate at all.
Having idled the time away, Jaelin, as it came time to leave, hovered around Lionel and hesitated.
She looked like someone who had something to say.
Lionel, having organized the carving tools into the box, turned toward Jaelin.
“What’s wrong? Do you have something to say to me?”
He already knew what Jaelin was going to say, but Lionel feigned ignorance and played dumb.
The fidgeting Jaelin barely opened her mouth.
A voice so small it could barely be heard flowed from Jaelin’s lips.
“U-um. Y-Young Master. Th-the book you b-borrowed……”
Lionel wore a smile drawn on his lips.
“Sorry. What should we do?”
The answer he had prepared, waiting for this very moment, finally spilled from Lionel’s mouth.
“I lost your book.”
The piece of wood in Jaelin’s hand dropped with a thud and rolled across the floor.
***
The spring, when flower buds burst forth everywhere, became a faded past, and summer, when the trees deepened into dark green, came to Eduard without fail.
The garden of the Eduard family, usually nothing but quiet and peaceful, was now bustling with the many guests who had come to visit the mansion.
“Lionel, happy birthday.”
Sasha, having swept back her honey-golden hair, held out a gift wrapped in gold foil paper to Lionel.
The girl in a dress layered with pink lace was as smooth and lovely as a porcelain doll.
Even at Sasha’s gracious greeting, Lionel’s expression remained utterly indifferent.
Sasha, having pressed the gift into his hands, soon raised her head and looked up at Lionel.
Lionel, to hide the look in his eyes, smiled gently and greeted Sasha by pressing his cheek to both of hers as a sign of affection.
“Thank you for coming.”
“How does it feel to be thirteen?”
“Who knows. Nothing special. Was it different for you?”
Lionel forced out a question he did not even care about.
Forcibly dragging up the corners of his mouth to fake kindness felt disgustingly difficult today of all days.
It was despairing that even on his own birthday, he had to do only things he hated.
“Of course. It was different. As a celebration of turning thirteen, Father bought me a horse. A lovely one with beautiful white fur.”
“Good for you. What did you name it?”
“Sasha the Second.”
Lionel let out a light laugh at Sasha’s answer and replied soullessly.
“That’s just like you.”
“Right. Isn’t it a name that really suits me? Sasha the Second’s white fur is so beautiful that it suits me perfectly. I tried practicing horseback riding on Sasha once, and the servants all praised me in unison, saying it looked like a painting. You’ll be amazed when you see it too.”
‘Amazed by what, exactly?’
The conversation was so boring he felt like yawning.
Lionel wanted to clamp a hand over that chattering mouth and leave this place at once. But all he could do was smile while hiding his feelings.
“Lionel, why don’t we go riding together instead? The weather’s nice, so it’d be really fun to go out and play together. Since we’re going out to ride, we could have a picnic too.”
Sasha raised both hands and clasped them tightly as if in prayer. Her blue eyes shone like stars with anticipation.
“We can spread a big blanket on the lawn, have the servants bring out lots of delicious food! If you and I sit facing each other and play, it’ll surely look like a painting! Ah, we could even call a painter to capture the scene of us playing……”
The content of the conversation was far too tedious. Lionel no longer heard a word Sasha was saying.
Having pretended to listen with interest while looking down at Sasha’s face, Lionel smiled brightly the moment she finished speaking.
“That does sound fun. If there’s time, let’s go together next time.”
“Don’t put it off—let’s set a date right now. I’m free anytime.”
Sasha was persistent. She had learned through several failures that if she did not secure a promise right now, Lionel would not agree.
Sasha, clinging to Lionel’s arm, lightly shook it with her lovely face.
“Hmm……”
Lionel smiled awkwardly. The body clinging to him was unpleasant.
He wanted to shake off that arm at once and flatly say he did not want to, but that would go against propriety.
Father always said it. One must be careful when refusing. One must know how to decline indirectly so the other person does not feel offended. That is the skill that makes others your allies.
Every refusal needed a reason, a justification.
“Why? Can’t we? Lionel, you seem to be avoiding me these days. I know. It’s an absurd thought, of course. There’s no way you’d avoid this lovely Sasha. But it’s been so hard to see your face lately that I can’t help but think that way.”
Sasha puffed out her cheeks and pouted.
