Chapter 127. Things Must Be Different from Now On
Her consciousness, submerged in a deep slumber, slowly rose to the surface at the sensation of something tickling her hair.
It was a pleasant feeling, as if a spring breeze were blowing.
The moment she realized it was a hand stroking her hair, Deborah woke from her sleep.
Visible through her slowly lifting eyelids was the face she had seen before falling asleep last night.
The moment her eyes met the blue gaze looking down at her, the man’s lips curved softly.
“I was just about to wake you up anyway.”
Exactly how long had he been doing that? The thought that he had seen her sleeping caused her face to flush hot instantly.
She hurriedly raised her hands to hide it, but unfortunately, they were blocked by his grasping hands.
The man leaned down and gently pressed his lips against Deborah’s.
“I figured you’d be getting hungry by now.”
Deborah stared blankly at his lips as they lightly touched hers and pulled away.
Last night, the two had fallen asleep as if collapsing, without even being able to eat dinner.
As soon as she had soaked her body in the warm bathwater, a languid energy had rushed in, and after washing, she simply couldn’t overcome the pouring drowsiness.
Perhaps because her stomach had been empty for so long, she felt an intense hunger that made her insides ache.
However, more than that…….
“When…… did you wake up?”
He said that even with a body that hadn’t fully recovered from the fatigue of travel, the man had searched for her until that hour yesterday.
It was only natural for him to be tired enough that it wouldn’t be strange even if he fell into a deep sleep until late afternoon, yet if her memory served her right, the man had been awake until the very moment she fell asleep yesterday.
It was only natural for her to be worried about whether he had even slept at all.
Looking at Deborah, the man spoke as if it were no big deal.
“About an hour ago?”
Deborah’s eyes widened at the statement that he had been awake an hour earlier.
“You should have…… just woken me up…….”
She wasn’t so dull as to not realize the person lying next to her had woken up, so she must have been truly exhausted.
Even so, to think she had been sleeping without a care in the world in front of a person more tired than herself…….
As she bit her lip out of sheer embarrassment, the man gently pulled her lower lip out and rubbed it with his finger.
“Why would I, when you were sleeping so soundly?”
“But still…….”
“Now, come on, get up. There’s a lot to do today.”
Deborah’s body was automatically pulled upright by the strength of his hand pulling her from behind her back.
“Things to do……?”
“Yes.”
Raymond chuckled at the sight of her blinking with wide eyes, wondering what on earth that meant.
“After we eat first.”
Deborah just watched silently as the man left the bed while saying those words.
At her hesitant appearance, as if she were reluctant, Raymond tilted his head slightly.
Only then did her closed mouth slowly open.
“I…… just want to stay here.”
“…….”
Raymond was silent for a moment at those quietly uttered words.
She wondered if what she said sounded unpleasant, but honestly, she lacked confidence.
The confidence to remain composed in front of all the gazes she would face once she left this bedroom.
As if he had noticed that feeling, he sat back down on the bed.
“I understand, but—.”
After spitting out those words, he took hold of Deborah’s arm with his hand.
“Even so, things must be different from now on.”
“…….”
“If you’ve resolved to stay by my side, you have to be dignified in front of anyone so that no one can ignore you.”
His tone was distinctly different from a moment ago.
Deborah also understood those sternly spoken words.
It might have been different when no one knew, but now everyone had come to know the relationship between the two.
Then, it was right that things should change, whatever form that might take.
Even if she couldn’t become a being worthy of him, at least she shouldn’t become an obstacle.
But…… that could not be as easy as it sounded.
If everything worked out the way one intended, the time she had passed wouldn’t have been so painful and difficult.
That was why she lacked confidence.
She, who couldn’t even confidently step out of this bedroom right now…… wondered if it was truly okay for her to be by his side.
She knew she was pathetic for having such thoughts even after coming this far, but she couldn’t find her way in the face of a reality that was too heavy to handle.
Whether he was thinking something after seeing her downcast face, after a moment, he lightly patted Deborah’s arm.
“Alright, let’s take it slow.”
“…….”
“There’s no rush, so one thing at a time, slowly.”
It was unlikely he could fully understand the pressure Deborah felt.
Since their innate status and backgrounds were different from the start, it might be more natural for him not to understand.
Nevertheless, the man was trying to understand Deborah’s position in his own way.
Slowly, so that she wouldn’t get scared and give up beforehand.
One step at a time, so that she wouldn’t collapse during the walk that was already difficult to take.
Because she knew that heart, she couldn’t bring herself to say she couldn’t do it, or that she couldn’t hold on any longer.
Even if the moment she crossed that door, gazes of cold contempt and disdain pierced her whole body like daggers.
Deborah nodded silently toward the man looking at her.
“Yes, I will do that.”
As if he liked that answer, the man’s eyes soon curved softly.
—
Fortunately, their late meal was set on the second-floor terrace.
Of course, that must have been the man’s consideration too, but no, more than that right now—
“……What did you just say?”
Deborah’s long eyelashes were trembling, so great was her surprise.
Unlike Deborah, the man very calmly set down the wine glass he had been holding onto the table.
“Today, the person who will make your dress is coming.”
As expected, she hadn’t misheard; a frown instantly formed between Deborah’s brows.
“A dress for me…… what on earth do you mean by that?”
Deborah asked back as if it were absurd.
A dress; that commotion had happened just yesterday.
It wasn’t a week ago, nor a month ago, but just yesterday evening, not even a full day had passed.
Yet on the very next day, today, a person was coming to fit her clothes of all things.
It might be a bit much to say, but for a very brief moment, she even wondered if his judgment had been clouded due to a lack of sleep.
However, he answered with a very calm face this time as well.
“As a matter of urgency, we need to prepare a few outfits to wear here and the things you’ll need when we go.”
“…….”
“Things like clothes to wear when sleeping or outdoor clothes— well, I don’t know the details, but women will need this and that. Oh, it would be good to have a riding habit made in advance too. While we’re at it, I’ll ask for that as well—”
“Ah, no…… wait, Duke, wait a minute.”
Deborah hurriedly cut off the man’s words that were racing endlessly.
Watching him tilt his head slightly as if asking why, she was suddenly at a loss for words.
She felt as if her mind had gone blank, not knowing where to start or what to address.
After thinking and thinking for a long time, Deborah finally opened her mouth.
“I, ne— no, it’s okay. It’s not like I don’t have clothes to wear right now, and I still have the clothes you bought me last time.”
She was about to say she didn’t need them, then quickly changed her words upon recalling the cold war that had occurred over that matter previously.
Although she had left them in his bedroom when she departed Elfengreen, she had two perfectly fine outfits he had bought her.
Expensive outdoor clothes that she wouldn’t have dared to wear in her entire life.
So it was fine, there was no need to call someone specially— as she said that, for some reason, the man’s expression was strange.
With a brow that furrowed instantly, the man spat out as if he were dissatisfied.
“It’s not like you’ve already forgotten what I said yesterday.”
“What I said…… yesterday?”
“Yes.”
Watching him give a short nod, Deborah recalled her memories of yesterday for a moment.
—I’m going to call off the engagement.
—As soon as that matter is settled, I plan to introduce you to people at the right time. As my wife, and as the Duchess of Cheister.
Ah……. A low sigh escaped Deborah’s mouth.
Only then did she understand what the man was trying to say.
He was saying she couldn’t remain as that shabby low-level maid who secretly went in and out of his bedroom forever.
Because she couldn’t dare to stand by the side of the great Duke of Cheister while wearing a worn-out, shabby dress.
Just like his words that things must be different from now on, she had to discard everything and leave not a single trace of her shabby past self.
At the sight of her tightly biting her lip in silence, Raymond let out a thin sigh.
“There’s no need to think about it in a complicated way. Just—.”
Stopping what he was saying, he swallowed his silence for a moment.
He looked as if he were hesitating over whether to say the words that were about to follow.
Perhaps because it was an appearance she usually didn’t see from him, Deborah’s face was soon filled with wonder.
Only after a long while did his closed mouth finally open.
“In the end, I was just the same. No different from those I laughed at for being pathetic.”
“…….”
“The desire to feed you only delicious things, to have you wear all the clothes that are said to be pretty, and to always make you smile happily.”
“…….”
“I just want to see that and boast to myself, childishly.”
Watching him press down on his eyebrows as if he were embarrassed, for some reason, one side of her chest ached.
The feeling of the bridge of her nose stinging for no reason even though she was happy.
Did the man know? That she became more happy than anything else by that one heart of his, more than anything he said he wanted to do for her.
At that moment, Deborah prayed fervently.
Please, let this moment last forever—.
She didn’t need anything else, so please, let this one man remain purely in her life.
Not even knowing whom the prayer was for, Deborah repeated and repeated it endlessly.
☆▪︎▪︎▪︎☆
