Chapter 93
His curiosity about Baek I-hae followed him even on the walk home from school.
She knows I’m tailing her, but she’s wary—like a cautious cat.
Seo I-heum had told Seo Do-gyeom to bring Baek I-hae home with him. But it felt awkward to suddenly invite her over out of nowhere, and she didn’t even glance his way—perhaps because she hadn’t heard anything about him.
For some reason I can’t quite grasp, she seems to dislike me too.
Still, the direction she was heading was toward Seo Do-gyeom’s house. Even if she hadn’t heard about him personally, she apparently knew where the house was.
That was reassuring enough to keep following—until suddenly Baek I-hae kicked off and started sprinting. She ran with such fierce, spirited strides that her slight frame thudded heavily against the pavement.
She’s really slow.
But despite the weather, she never slipped out of his sight. Hesitating whether to follow directly, Seo Do-gyeom turned and took a shortcut instead. He waited a short distance ahead, and soon enough Baek I-hae burst out of another alley, panting hard.
Thinking how relentlessly busy she always seemed, he politely guided the backward-stepping girl toward the house.
Baek I-hae.
As Seo Do-gyeom had suspected, she was Baek I-ho’s daughter. The child of the man responsible for his mother’s death.
“I can’t accept it. Why is Father looking after Baek I-hae until she comes of age? She’s the daughter of the man who caused Mother’s death.”
In the early hours of the day she arrived, he went straight to Seo I-heum’s study and got to the point. Old Man Oh’s startled expression suggested they had assumed Seo Do-gyeom had forgotten about Baek I-ho.
As if someone who had lived through it could ever forget that day.
“…I-ho and his wife died in a traffic accident. On the surface, at least.”
“Was it the work of the man who targeted Mother back then?”
“Possibly. He’s so good at cutting ties that gathering information is difficult.”
Seo I-heum signaled with his eyes for Old Man Oh to leave. As Old Man Oh nodded and opened the door, Chai Ryeong was visible waiting outside. Seo Do-gyeom felt a flicker of puzzlement at the brief glance Seo I-heum gave her, but the door closed quickly.
“There are other reasons too.”
“Yes?”
“It’s something you don’t need to know. In any case, I’d be lying if I said I held no grudge against I-ho, but if our positions were reversed, I might have acted the same way. Besides, I-ho could have fled, but he turned back to save your mother. Protecting Baek I-hae is also your mother’s wish.”
“How could Mother…”
“Before she died, she asked me not to hold it against them. So I’m asking you, Do-gyeom. You can resent me if you want, but please don’t take it out on that innocent child—be good to her.”
“…I can’t promise I’ll be good to her. But I won’t resent her.”
“Thank you.”
At Seo I-heum’s faint smile, Seo Do-gyeom pressed his lips together. How could he refuse when the man who had suffered even more than him was making such a request?
He wasn’t thoughtless enough to torment Baek I-hae, who knew nothing about it.
Moreover, she reminded him of Lee Sae-rom, so he couldn’t bring himself to truly hate her.
Baek I-hae had a bright personality. She grumbled at Seo-yeol’s cheeky behavior but never genuinely disliked him; instead, she shielded him when he was in danger and ended up hurt herself—foolishly so.
She seemed strong, yet hearing she cried alone in her room made her appear endlessly fragile.
What a strange girl.
That was his first impression. Still, after she saved Seo-yeol, Baek I-hae felt a little closer, and when she trembled in fear telling him about the danger to Chai Ryeong, he wanted to reassure her.
She seems oblivious sometimes, but her instincts are sharp. When I mentioned Chai Ryeong, Father already seemed to suspect something.
When he spoke to Seo I-heum about Baek I-hae and mentioned Chai Ryeong, his father had only fallen silent. And not long after, hadn’t Chai Ryeong attempted a surprise attack? Fortunately, because they were on guard, it hadn’t escalated into a major incident.
Does she feel like a little sister?
The way his eyes kept drifting to Baek I-hae might be because he felt the same protective urge toward her as he did toward Seo-yeol. She was sometimes even more of a troublemaker than Seo-yeol and just as hard to look away from.
When he heard she’d been kidnapped by Baek Yeong, his heart had dropped. Of course—it was only natural when someone who felt like a little sister had nearly been in danger.
The tiny spark of doubt that began in Seo Do-gyeom came from the most trivial trigger.
This is frustrating.
Not long after the kidnapping incident ended and he felt a strange satisfaction that Baek I-hae had opened her heart to the family, a transfer student arrived.
Ye Eun-seol. Perhaps because of that guy’s flashy looks, Baek I-hae couldn’t take her eyes off him from the start.
It irritated Seo Do-gyeom immensely, and his chest felt heavy, as though something were pressing down on it. It was a strange sensation he’d never felt before.
He also disliked how she addressed Old Man Oh formally as “sir.”
What is this? I swore I wouldn’t resent her—could it be that deep down I actually hate everything she does?
Seo Do-gyeom thought seriously. If his resentment had unknowingly turned into hatred and he found everything she did annoying, that would be a problem.
He now knew Baek I-hae was a good person who had done nothing wrong.
This was his own fault. Ever since she helped Seo-yeol, he’d followed her around, and the sight of her trailing after Seo-yeol bothered him—perhaps because he felt she was stealing his little brother.
I mustn’t hate her. I promised I wouldn’t resent her.
Repeating that resolve, he felt a little lighter on the walk home together. Maybe the self-brainwashing was working.
But whenever he saw Baek I-hae laughing with Seo-yeol, playfully flicking his forehead, that heaviness returned.
Alone in his room, Seo Do-gyeom stared into the mirror. He pushed his bangs up to expose his smooth forehead and muttered,
“…Should I practice getting flicked on the forehead?”
The housekeeper emptying the trash nearby gave him a strange look, but Seo Do-gyeom was perfectly serious.
For the ever-rational Seo Do-gyeom, these were bewildering changes. And since Baek I-hae was at the center of them all, the confusion only grew.
He didn’t hate her, yet he sometimes felt an urge to lock her away somewhere. If he hated her, he’d want her out of sight—but strangely, he wanted to keep Baek I-hae hidden and look at her alone.
There seemed to be many kinds of hatred.
Though I feel it most when she’s with Eun-seol or Yeol. Ah, sometimes even when she’s with Father.
He realized those feelings weren’t hatred only after overhearing Baek I-hae’s phone call by chance.
That I like Baek I-hae?
The tightness in his chest suddenly lifted, as if a hole had been punched through it. Perhaps because he finally had a name for the confusing emotions, or because he realized Baek I-hae had already noticed what he’d been trying to hide.
If she knew, there was no need to hide it anymore.
Acknowledging that he liked her brought a new feeling when he looked at her. The scenery that had always made her stand out now contained only her.
To hold someone in your heart means there’s no room left for anything else.
He remembered Lee Sae-rom’s words: if you love someone, treat them gently, and they’ll stay by your side.
So on the first day they dated, he resolved to be kind to Baek I-hae, and she smiled as though she were truly happy.
She beamed so brightly over a single word—as if she’d gained the whole world—that he wondered if he even deserved to hold her. Though now he had no intention of letting go.
I want Baek I-hae to keep smiling. But… what if someone like Do Ha-jun targets her again?
He thought of Do Ha-jun, who had killed Lee Sae-rom and kidnapped Baek I-hae. Even though Chai Ryeong had subjected him to near-torture, the fact that he was still alive made Seo Do-gyeom uneasy.
Jang Chung-won and Jang Seul-gi, who had lured Baek I-hae into danger for their own lives, were the same. He hadn’t wanted to leave them alive, so he had tried to kill them.
Jang Chung-won lay limp from the violence, breathing faintly. Staring down at him emotionlessly, Seo Do-gyeom heard Jang Seul-gi scream in fury.
“No matter what, Baek I-hae will keep being in danger if she stays with you! Do you think killing us will solve anything? Do Ha-jun said it—plenty of people already know about Baek I-hae!”
If it hadn’t been for the men Seo I-heum sent, Seo Do-gyeom would surely have killed Jang Seul-gi. Trash or not, she was Baek I-hae’s only family.
I can’t lose I-hae. Not like with Mother… never again.
That was why he wanted to protect her. He believed that if he followed Seo I-heum’s example and didn’t display weaknesses openly, no one would target them. Pretending to have something even more precious as bait would fool outsiders easily.
Even if Baek I-hae didn’t understand and resented him, he thought it couldn’t be helped.
“You’re saying you wouldn’t care if I married another man?”
He had definitely thought that way.
But the unfamiliar, resentful glare in Baek I-hae’s eyes held such deep sorrow that it stole his breath.
“At least I could still look at the Baek I-hae in my memories as much as I wanted.”
With a cold smile—as if reality would be different—she turned away.
As she opened the door to leave, Seo Do-gyeom reached out, then hesitated.
If I grab her, will I regret it?
He didn’t know. But he instinctively knew he would regret not grabbing her.
Even knowing that, I can’t bring myself to hold on.
Baek I-hae claimed that not letting go was love, but for Seo Do-gyeom, letting go was the most desperate form of love. If he had ignored her feelings and pursued only his own desires, he would have kept her beside him.
Seo Do-gyeom’s love was clumsy. But no one loved her more sincerely than he did.
