Chapter 107 · Jealousy (3)

“When on earth did we?”

I asked blankly, doubting my own ears.

“That is… the day you came to the tower in a state of divine power depletion, I accidentally fell asleep beside you…”

Leo’s voice grew a little smaller, as if he were terribly embarrassed, and his face was blazing.

“My mother taught me that once a man and a woman lie in the same bed and sleep, from that moment on, they must absolutely take responsibility for each other.”

“Uh… that’s true. It’s true, but…”

I was flustered, not knowing how to explain. Whatever Leo had misunderstood, he had misunderstood it completely. Well, considering the age he was when he was locked in the tower, I could understand.

I opened my mouth as calmly as I could.

“But nothing happened between us, did it?”

“Nothing? Sleeping together isn’t nothing?”

Leo flared up and shouted.

“Um… I mean, it’s not just sleeping, there’s something you have to do, right?”

“What do you have to do?”

His question left me speechless.

“That is… I don’t know either.”

I truly didn’t know. I had only lived until twelve in all my lives, and in none of them had I ever learned about lovers.

I had heard that royalty and nobles learned about male-female relationships from their mothers or fathers once they passed ten, but I had no one to teach me.

I was the outcast princess whom even the attendants avoided for fear of Aquila’s reprisals.

The small library attached to Icarus Palace didn’t have any books on the subject either, and I was too busy studying things that would help me survive to bother looking for them.

The only book related to love between men and women I had ever read was ‘Lady Catalina’s Melancholy,’ which a maid had accidentally left in my room. But even that didn’t say what men and women do after lying in bed.

‘I think they just talked about this and that, then kissed, and the next chapter it was morning and birds were chirping and it ended.’

I had heard the maids gossiping that an uncut, complete version of the book was circulating in the underworld, but I had no interest whatsoever.

For one thing, that book wasn’t to my taste. I had been so annoyed after finishing it that I threw it away.

I am someone who gets chills at the very thought of love between men and women. Partly because of my tragic birth, but I simply cannot understand relationships tangled up in such irrational emotions. People who were perfectly fine go crazy because of love, do things they’d never normally do, fight, die…

In my eyes, that seemed more dangerous than any curse or destruction magic. The more you go overboard, the more poisonous it becomes. Whether it’s familial love, camaraderie, or love between lovers, if it can grab you by the ankle, it’s better not to start it at all.

‘Especially if it’s an impossible, forbidden love!’

I looked at the prince of an enemy nation before me. I was touched that this prince was offering to take on a responsibility even my biological father hadn’t wanted to bear, but wrong was wrong. Just sleeping without doing anything can’t be a relationship between a man and a woman! They must do something far more bizarre than kissing!

“I don’t know much either, but I’m certain there’s no need to take responsibility. Besides, only we know about it anyway.”

It was frustrating that I couldn’t explain it properly to Leo. My pride was also a little wounded that there was something I didn’t know. Should I ask the priestesses later…

‘But the priestesses have taken vows of chastity, so they probably won’t be much help.’

They might find the topic itself uncomfortable. Then who should I ask? Freesia or Mila?

Leo looked confused, and also seemed angry.

“You’re saying it’s fine to let it go because only we know?”

“That’s not what I mean…”

“Even if no one knows, fulfilling your responsibility is the path to keeping your honor. And honor isn’t kept for others’ eyes, but to be at peace with yourself.”

There wasn’t a single flaw in Leo’s words, which made it even more maddening.

“Besides, I killed you in a past life. I have to take responsibility for your death as well.”

A hollow laugh escaped me. Paeon is a problem because he has too little sense of responsibility, and Leo is a problem because he has too much!

“I’ve said this before, but it’s fine because Leo didn’t do it on purpose!”

“Even if you’re fine with it, it bothers me. You…”

He spoke in a deflated voice.

“Do you hate the idea of me taking responsibility for you?”

Leo’s eyes were full of hurt.

Ugh, seeing him like that makes me feel like I’ve done something terribly wrong.

“But even if you take responsibility for me, what would you do? Leo is the prince of Kalisa!”

I finally cried out in frustration.

“I…”

He hesitated for a long while. See, this boy is still just a child after all. Making grand declarations about responsibility without any plan?

Just then.

A bird flew down from the sky at incredible speed. It was so fast that I thought it was a magic attack rather than a bird, and I flinched and dodged to the side.

But Leo didn’t dodge—he held out his hand to the bird with a bright face. It was a familiar gesture.

“Mito?”

The moment he said the name, the bird flapped its wings frantically and nuzzled against him affectionately. The small pink bird with a red crescent pattern was truly beautiful.

Seeing Leo call out “Mito!” in an overwhelmed voice, I realized.

‘It’s a carrier pigeon!’

I heard that well-trained, clever carrier pigeons could cross continents—apparently that was true. There was a small cloth tied to the bird’s leg. Leo hurriedly untied it, then stopped before unfolding it. And he looked at me, troubled.

I closed my mouth and awkwardly rolled my eyes.

“…”

“…”

The air froze in an instant.

The one who sent the carrier pigeon was undoubtedly Leo’s father. The man who killed my mother and dealt enormous damage to Santra, the number one person to be wary of. If I witnessed Leo exchanging letters with him and said nothing to the royal family, it would be a huge problem.

But the water was already spilled.

From his memories, I could tell he deeply respected and loved his father. How could I block the first contact in four years from his only remaining family? If I wanted to prevent that, I shouldn’t have gotten him out of the tower in the first place.

“I… don’t mind me, Weo. Just wead it.”

The moment I said that, a familiar voice rang out.

“Princess!”

Startled, I moved close to Leo and whispered.

“Hide it!”

He quickly tucked the letter inside his clothes and signaled the bird on his shoulder to go. The bird named Mito looked at him once as if regretful, then fluttered up into the air.

“Princess!”

Somehow he knew I was in the forest—Paeon was running toward us, pushing through the great trees. I pretended to have just noticed him and turned my head.

“C-Commander.”

The moment he got close, Paeon urgently pulled me away from Leo. He yanked me to his side and glared at Leo fiercely.

“What is the meaning of this!”

Paeon acted as if Leo had kidnapped me. I fumbled and made excuses.

“The prince didn’t ask me to come. A strange-looking animal ran into the forest, so I said we should go see it.”

Even so, Paeon didn’t lower his guard. Leo too glared straight back at him. Both of their eyes were full of hatred.

Caught between them, I didn’t know what to do, and I tugged at the hem of Paeon’s clothes to calm him. But there was something on his clothes…

“Is this… blood?!”

I cried out in shock.

“Ah, no.”

Paeon denied it in a fluster, but it was clearly a bloodstain.

What reason could he have to have blood on him? He hadn’t been hunting monsters, and he hadn’t fought anyone.

“There was an incident today where a knight got hurt during sparring practice. It must have splattered then. It’s nothing.”

Something seemed off, but pressing further would have been strange too.

“I apologize for being late. This will not happen again.”

He spoke businesslike as usual and led me toward the training grounds. I followed him obediently, but I kept my eyes narrowed on the bloodstain.

I couldn’t understand why my chest felt so uneasy.

◇ ◆ ◇

That night.

The moment Paeon entered his room, he covered his mouth with his hand. A violent cough came out, but afraid the next room might hear, he hurriedly buried his head in the bed and shook. Blood soaked into the blanket.

“Hah… hah…”

Only after a long while did he let out a shallow breath and barely raise his head. He felt something hot running down his chin. The taste of blood filling his mouth made nausea surge up.

‘The princess didn’t notice, did she…’

He stared with sunken eyes at the blanket stained with blood.

Over the past ten-odd days, his condition had grown increasingly serious. Every time he used divine power, he felt a sharp pain in his heart, but he displayed superhuman patience and didn’t let it show. He gritted his teeth and endured, and when the symptoms grew severe, he rushed to his office and vomited blood.

At first, it was bearable unless he used a great deal of divine power. But the threshold was gradually lowering. Now, he felt pain even when doing nothing and not using divine power at all.

Fortunately, no one had noticed yet, but Shellman seemed to sense something was wrong.

Shellman was extremely perceptive. During the war, her agility and keenness had been a great help. It would be impossible to deceive her eyes for long.

‘So this is how the princess suffered.’

The thought that Anastasia had endured this pain at the age of four made his heart ache.

But Anastasia suffered because the two powers clashed inside her. He couldn’t understand why he was experiencing these symptoms when he hadn’t even gained mana.

No matter how he thought about it, it could only be divine punishment. But even if it was divine punishment, he should report it to the Great Temple. At this rate, the moment he used divine power, he would vomit blood in front of everyone. There could be no uglier sight.

But he simply couldn’t bring himself to speak or move. The thought of having to part from Anastasia was more terrifying than anything.

Even today, because he had been trying to suppress this dreadful coughing of blood, he hadn’t been able to meet Anastasia on time, and in the meantime, she had disappeared. Though she made clumsy excuses, it was clear that the Kalisan prince had taken Anastasia into that forest.

His heart sank. Alone with the prince of an enemy nation in a vast forest without a single knight.

She was careless, far too careless.

That prince was a dangerous figure. Paeon had read deep hatred toward Santra in the small boy’s eyes. Even if he currently held goodwill toward Anastasia, how long would that last?

And even setting that prince aside, what about the upcoming Foundation Day Festival? What about the oracle calling her the ‘child of God’?

Too many dangers lurked before Anastasia. She was more precarious than a candle in the wind. And if he himself were no longer by her side…

‘But what meaning is there in holding out a few more days…? My whole body might break down soon.’

In the end, it was greed. He was no different from when he had loved Princess Beatrice.

Greed, greed, greed…

Greed for something he must not look upon, something he could never reach.

That greed ruined everything.

Yet even in the moments he loathed and blamed himself, he missed Anastasia. Even though he had seen her today, even though he could see her tomorrow morning, he desperately missed her.

Paeon gasped in pain, then impulsively opened the door and went out.