Chapter 63 · Responsibility

“How do you take responsibility?”

At Basileo’s question, his mother answered with a smile.

“It means cherishing the other person deeply, never turning your eyes to anyone else, and thinking only of each other. Not abandoning them or running from your duty.”

It didn’t seem particularly difficult. In other words, all he had to do was be like his mother and father. They were, in Basileo’s view, the ideal married couple and the ideal queen and king.

But if the other person happened to be the princess of an enemy nation, things were different.

‘The princess of the country that killed my mother! And the First Princess at that!’

Just yesterday he had resolved. He would no longer be swayed by Anastasia. On the day the divine beast that came every single day failed to appear, he had been deeply shaken.

‘Why isn’t it coming today?’

‘Is she ill?’

‘Has she grown tired of me now?’

Basileo actually loved animals. After studying magic, animals were what he loved most. In the royal palace, the dogs and cats he raised alone numbered more than ten, and he had also kept horses, birds, and snakes. There had been many times he sobbed because he missed those he had left behind in Kalisa.

In any case, he had seen countless animals since he was very young, but it was the first time in his life he had seen a white-furred fox kit. Two fluffy, abundant tails and glittering emerald eyes. It was so cute his heart ached, so cute it tingled.

And it looked so much like Anastasia—as if she had transformed into an animal. Even its behavior was similar. Every time that creature tilted its head with a little whine, pricked up its big ears, or pushed its head forward to be petted, it reminded him of her and drove him mad.

‘They say foxes enchant people.’

Could it be not a divine beast but some bewitching creature? Maybe sending this creature every day was a scheme to enchant him, lower his guard, and make him let go of his hostility toward Santra.

He thought he must not grow close to that fox, but whenever it popped out of thin air, that resolve crumbled away. How could anyone stay still while such a cute creature circled around them and nuzzled up?

He had no choice but to accept the fox. Before he knew it, setting it on his lap while reading or sleeping with it in his arms had become routine.

Not long ago, Basileo had begun reading the storybooks Anastasia had brought, and there was a passage in one of them.

The moon, who hated the heat, could endure the blazing daylight because of the thought of meeting the star she loved.

Logically, it was absurd nonsense, but somehow it stuck with him. He too felt good from the daytime because he knew the little fox would come at night. He wondered if this was all right, but he couldn’t give up the joy this small life gave him.

And then he realized. If the joy he kept tasting were suddenly cut off, how great a loss he would feel. When the little fox that came every day did not come, his heart spun rapidly. He couldn’t focus on anything. His mind was filled with nothing but anxiety and worry.

‘Why am I making such a fuss over a single day?’

Even as he scolded himself—

‘What if it never comes again? And… she too…’

His thoughts jumped ahead and assumed the worst.

‘Basileo, you’ve truly lost your mind!’

He was so disappointed in himself. Since meeting that girl, it felt as if he were no longer himself. Had he always been the kind of person who clung to something and depended on it?

‘That child has ruined me.’

He thought of the sweet candy she had given him. The candy that made him want more after eating it once. This is how a person suddenly develops desire, gets caught in a trap, and collapses. To achieve something, all such desires must be cut off.

‘And yet I got dragged in again! Again!’

He glared resentfully at Anastasia, who was sleeping dead to the world beside him.

Before sleeping with the little fox, he had always suffered from sleep paralysis. Perhaps because the divine beast was made of divine power, it seemed to help him sleep soundly. But yesterday it hadn’t come, and after falling asleep alone with a complicated heart, he was tormented by a horrific nightmare in which his mother’s final moment played over and over. Even knowing it was a dream, he couldn’t wake.

In that agonizing moment, this child had appeared. In a complete mess, having exhausted all her divine power.

‘Why is she foolishly kind like this? All the Santrans are worse than demons.’

The only Santrans he had seen were the cold-eyed king, the knights who looked down on him, and the servants who came only twice a day at mealtimes and wouldn’t even meet his eyes, but he believed that was all of them. He had to believe that. There must be no kind people in this country. Only then could he hate and trample on them with peace of mind.

‘…She’s definitely a mutant. She can even use both divine power and mana. There’s no one like that in the world.’

Maybe she really was an angel sent from heaven. He was secretly ashamed of himself for thinking that, but her sleeping face resembled the angels in the holy paintings he had seen in the temple as a very young child so much.

The light was growing brighter, so he knew he really had to wake her now. He rose and carefully shook her.

“Mmm… Yuz, just a wittle wongew…”

At the sight of her whining cutely as if she thought she was in her own room, his heart rioted again.

“You have to wake up.”

Basileo whispered, but she pretended not to hear and covered her ears with her hands. Unable to help it, he hesitated a little, then called her name.

“…Anastasia.”

He had called that name for the first time. At that, she snapped her eyes open.

“!”

She sprang up and looked around in a fluster. And when her eyes met his, she let out a small scream.

“Eeeek! I was wondering who on earth would be calling my name! You scared me! How long did I sleep? What time is it? I’m doomed, doomed!”

“People probably haven’t woken up yet. Can you use magic?”

“Yeah! I can! Hurry, hurry, lift the mana block. The priestesses wake up early.”

The moment Basileo lifted the mana block, she scrambled away. Watching the spot where she had vanished, he repeated her name once more.

“…Anastasia.”

Just calling her name made the back of his neck flush and his face burn.

‘I should avoid calling it as much as possible.’

He agonized over how to treat her from now on. Anastasia was still younger than him, so she might not fully understand what a grave mistake they had made. It might be better to just pretend it hadn’t happened.

‘But to sleep in the same bed and then pretend not to know—that’s what a scoundrel like my uncle would do, isn’t it?’

And she was the girl who had rushed to him even in a state of prana depletion, for his sake. He clutched his head and agonized, then sighed and made up his mind.

‘For now, let’s say I’ll take responsibility. I’ll think about the rest later.’

◇ ◆ ◇

A few days later, at the training grounds.

“Why on earth is everyone looking at me with such unpleasant eyes?”

Paeon turned and snapped irritably.

From the moment he appeared at the training grounds with Anastasia, the eyes of the Veritas holy knights had been strange. As usual, the knights were doing independent training while he helped Anastasia with her divine power training on one side, but the knights kept glancing at the two of them.

“It’s because everyone was deeply moved by you, Commander.”

Vice-Commander Shellman appeared, waving her hand with a cheerful smile.

“What is that supposed to…”

Nonsense. He didn’t need to hear the rest to know.

Fearing another round of brutal training, the knights hurriedly confessed honestly.

“Truly, it was the first time in my life I’ve seen such a moving scene!”

“A father and daughter reunited after ten years, a dramatic reunion! It felt like watching something like that…”

“I feel like I’ve caught my first glimpse of the Commander’s human side—ah, no, never mind.”

The knight who had been speaking enthusiastically shut his mouth at Paeon’s murderous expression.

“Ahh, what a shame to have missed such a scene! We got separated on the way.”

Shellman looked regretful, but in fact she looked thoroughly delighted.

“So while I was fighting that lizard to the death, our great Commander was sobbing while clutching the princess, is that what you’re saying?”

“Who was sobbing?!”

“Did I phrase that poorly? The princess cried, Princess.”

Paeon glared at Shellman with fierce eyes. Unfazed, she turned smoothly toward Anastasia and bowed.

“I heard the princess was truly brave that day. I’m sure the Commander scolded you for joining the hunting competition, but don’t worry too much about it. None of it was your fault, Princess.”

When Shellman comforted her, Anastasia grinned.

“Thank you, Shellman. But Papa didn’t weally say anything. He didn’t even get angwy. Don’t you think that’s stwange too?”

“Huh? Commander, did you eat something bad?”

“They say people change when their time to die draws near.”

“That won’t do. The Commander is our knight order’s greatest strength, you know.”

At the knights’ giggling, Paeon frowned and swung his sword about, chasing Shellman off like a bird.

“Papa, but weally, why awen’t you angwy?”

Anastasia blinked her round eyes and asked innocently. He was at a loss for words for a moment and looked at her.

“…Stop saying pointless things and continue your training. From now on, we’ll try creating a double barrier.”

She pouted, “Tsk,” then smiled brightly at him. In that moment, his heart ached.

He was already far too angry at himself to be angry at her in the slightest. He couldn’t forgive himself for having followed her to Mount Bifio from the start, and for having set out so complacently only after the afternoon had passed.

That day, Paeon came to know with certainty just how much he loved her. Holding that small, frail body and feeling its warmth, he thought of Beatrice, who had returned as a cold corpse.

‘This person, I absolutely cannot lose.’

He thought that for Anastasia’s sake, he should leave her side. Having no right to love her, if he stayed beside her under the pretext of duty and felt happiness, he would surely be punished again. He believed that if he left her side, God would no longer torment her.

But what if that wasn’t the case? What if, by some chance, he left her and she fell into danger unexpectedly?

“You wewe going to abandon Asha again!”

Her wail, which tore at his heart no matter when he recalled it, came to mind.

The future was unknowable anyway, so… then… at the very least, he would not wound her.

The moment Paeon returned from Mount Bifio, he headed for the Hall of Prayer. And kneeling before the symbol of the god Lux, he prayed.

If You intend to punish me
by punishing her in my place
I will surely stop it.
Even at the cost of my life…
I will protect her to the very end.
Even if that means opposing You.

It was a truly blasphemous resolve for a priest who served God—and moreover for a holy knight believed to be most beloved by God—to make. Of course, he had no idea that it was only in Anastasia’s tenth life that he had finally come to make that resolve.