chapter 48
Even on the way back in the carriage, silence lingered between the two of them.
Elyon spoke first, his tone subdued as he glanced toward Rubiana, who was staring gloomily out the window.
“If Omar knew how we actually exchanged mana, he never would’ve made that suggestion. Using that method for a week? That’s absurd.”
“…You’re probably right.”
“It’s not even worth considering. So don’t worry about it too much.”
Watching Elyon speak so firmly, Rubiana swallowed a sigh.
She couldn’t be as decisive as he was.
The best-case scenario kept knocking at the door of her mind.
‘If I just receive an excess amount of mana for one week like Omar suggested… maybe… maybe my body could return to normal, and I could finally make a contract with a spirit?’
But that was only a scenario—nothing more.
There were no guarantees.
Even Omar, the most skilled physician in the Empire, had said he couldn’t be sure.
The odds were fifty-fifty.
‘And I’m just going to… give up on that fifty percent chance?’
Her life had never been easy. Sometimes giving up was the right thing to do.
But regaining her health by borrowing Elyon’s mana—that wasn’t something she could ever give up on.
‘Still… sleeping with Elyon every night for a whole week… That’s just… impossible.’
Yes. Impossible. Absolutely not.
Rubiana shook her head.
What had happened the night before had been an accident.
Elyon’s mana had suddenly become unstable, and he had needed her.
Feeling the fierce pull of his mana, she had needed him too.
That lightning-like attraction—once had been more than enough.
Even if it was technically just an act of “mana exchange,” doing something like that for an entire week was clearly crossing a line.
A step too far.
Elyon was right.
If Omar had known that the excessive mana transfer involved such intimate physical contact between a man and a woman, he wouldn’t have suggested it so casually.
‘Wait… did Omar really not know?’
Omar had immediately sensed the change in their mana.
She recalled his cheerful smile throughout the entire examination.
Maybe… he had known everything from the start—about the secret act they’d shared the previous night.
After all, wasn’t it Omar who had first suggested they kiss to stabilize their mana?
So what if he’d known everything… and still recommended that method?
What if, to him, it was nothing more than a treatment—something purely clinical, without meaning or emotion?
‘If that’s the case… maybe following Omar’s advice wouldn’t be such a bad idea after all?’
Rubiana glanced at Elyon.
He sat with his arms crossed, eyes closed—but she doubted he was asleep.
Swallowing hard, she gathered her courage.
“Um… Your Highness?”
At her call, Elyon lifted his eyelids.
Those deep blue eyes—like the bottom of the sea—wordlessly asked, What is it?
“Do you really think… it’s impossible?”
One of Elyon’s eyebrows twitched upward in confusion.
Rubiana hesitated, fumbling with her words before speaking again.
“It’s just… if I could endure it for a week and my body really became whole again, I… I’d like to try.”
Elyon’s expression slowly stiffened as the meaning of her words sank in.
A heavy silence settled between them, their gazes tangled with uncertainty and conflict.
‘Good grief… am I seriously begging the villain to sleep with me right now?!’
As Rubiana bit her lip in humiliation, Elyon finally spoke.
“My lady… this isn’t something to take lightly. The relationship we share through mana exchange will eventually have to end.”
“…”
“Our connection is a very limited, fragile contract. So… I don’t think it’s wise for us to grow too close physically.”
Rubiana understood his concern.
But she didn’t want to give up on something she could try—just because of problems that hadn’t even happened yet.
Summoning the last of her courage, she pressed on.
“Even if it means nothing beyond exchanging mana? Even if, after seven nights, I might finally be healthy again?”
“It’s only a possibility, not a certainty. And it would surely leave both our pride and sanity in ruins.”
Their eyes met again, clashing and tangling in the air.
That was as far as Rubiana could go.
She bit down hard on her lower lip—so hard that the taste of blood filled her mouth.
She felt disgusted with herself.
It was as if she’d become trash—someone willing to use any means to achieve her goal.
At last, she bowed her head low.
“…You’re right, Your Highness. I must have lost my mind for a moment. Forget I said anything.”
“…”
And that was the end of the conversation.
Neither spoke again until they arrived at the Payson Count’s estate.
‘Pathetic. Absolutely pathetic! How humiliating! Ugh!’
Once back home, Rubiana claimed she was tired and went straight to bed.
She wanted nothing more than to disappear.
Curled up like a shrimp under the blanket, she punched her pillow, kicked the covers, and groaned.
She prayed, ‘Please, someone rewind time! Or at least erase my memory!’—then cursed Elyon for being so infuriatingly proper.
Her anger simmered, her embarrassment boiled.
She wanted to vanish into thin air.
She wanted to stop existing altogether.
“Aaaahhh!”
Even screaming didn’t help. Nothing changed.
She sprang to her feet.
If she stayed like this, she’d lose her mind—and that would be even more humiliating.
‘When your head’s a mess, move your body. That’s the cure.’
Without hesitation, she changed into her riding clothes.
She took off the communication bracelet on her wrist and tossed it carelessly onto her vanity.
Her gaze at it was icy.
‘Let’s take a break… you and I.’
With a huff, she turned and headed straight for the stables.
Her sudden declaration that she’d be riding again that afternoon—after already going that morning—startled the servants.
No one stopped her, but all watched with worried eyes.
Mounting her horse easily, Rubiana smiled.
“Don’t worry. I’ll be back before sunset.”
“Please be careful, my lady.”
“Hyah!”
She spurred the horse forward and raced away.
The rush of wind against her face felt exhilarating.
Her chest felt clear, her mind lighter.
‘Yes. That’s it. This feeling!’
The confusion, the blushing embarrassment in front of Elyon—it all started to fade.
Before long, she reached the lakeside where she and Stephanie had gone that morning.
After dismounting, she sat under a tree to catch her breath.
The calm view of the lake seemed to soothe her heart as well.
‘Ah, this feels nice…’
Just as that thought crossed her mind—
A sharp, stabbing pain tore through her abdomen.
“Ugh… ah!”
No, no, no—this couldn’t be happening! Panic seized her.
She couldn’t collapse here, all alone.
If she lost consciousness in this empty place, no one would find her for days—she could die here.
The thought of death waiting right beside her sent a wave of terror through her.
‘Right! The communicator! I’ll call Elyon!’
She lifted her wrist hurriedly—
And froze.
The bracelet wasn’t there.
“…Ah?”
Had she lost it? Dropped it?
Then she remembered.
‘Right… I took it off on purpose.’
A weak, bitter laugh escaped her.
How ridiculous this was—she’d left it behind just to spite Elyon, and now she regretted it with everything she had.
‘If you were going to regret it, why take it off? And if you were going to take it off, why regret it?!’
She hated herself for being so foolish.
Meanwhile, the pain in her abdomen only worsened, twisting her insides.
‘Please… please…!’
She prayed desperately that it would stop soon.
But her wish wasn’t granted.
The pain only intensified until, at last, she coughed up blood.
“Ugh… aah…!”
Her strength left her, and she collapsed heavily onto the ground.
Her vision blurred, the world dimming around her.
She tried to move, to stay conscious, but her body no longer obeyed.
Lying helplessly on the dirt, Rubiana stared up at the crimson sky of dusk.
‘You’re really… so cruel. Damn it…’
Her eyes fluttered one last time—then closed completely.
