Chapter 107
Lionel could not immediately understand what was happening to him.
He tried to speak.
There were clearly things he had to say, and his lips moved accordingly.
But no sound came out.
Back when he had mistaken love for hatred, the subtle lump in his throat had begun as a faint flutter.
Now, that sensation had become a nauseating revulsion.
And now, that revulsion was blocking his voice.
“……”
For a brief moment, Lionel could only move his lips blankly, and a chill spread through his chest.
Agnes was looking up at him.
His first thought was that she must not find out.
Lionel hurriedly felt around his neck, realized his cravat had loosened, and quickly pulled it back into place.
It was not only the marks of self-harm that he had to conceal.
At this moment, he did not want anyone to realize that he had lost something.
He neither had the shamelessness nor the right to expose himself floundering in guilt before Agnes.
This pain was never meant to be shown.
The only person who had to bear it was himself.
He could not let Agnes see something so hideous.
“Are you feeling unwell?”
Just as Agnes was about to continue her formal inquiry, a knock sounded, followed by Simon’s voice from outside the door.
“Your Grace. Madam Leuceviten has come to visit.”
Lionel instinctively glanced at the clock.
He remembered that after hearing about the stage before, he had sent word to Leuceviten, asking her to visit the ducal estate whenever she had time.
It was because he still remembered how unusually excited Agnes had looked the day she spoke with Leuceviten.
Perhaps if Agnes kept in touch with Leuceviten, she might recover at least a little of the vitality she had lost.
Still, he had not expected it to be today.
Especially not at this hour.
Yet, he found himself thinking it was rather fortunate.
If things continued like this, Agnes would surely notice something was wrong with him.
Unable to produce a voice, Lionel simply tilted his head toward Agnes instead.
Understanding what he meant, Simon politely addressed Agnes.
“Madam wishes to see you, Lady Agnes. If it is inconvenient, I shall send her away.”
Watching Lionel’s actions, Agnes lowered her gaze once more.
“No, I’ll meet her.”
Throughout the process of a maid helping her put on a thin pair of lace gloves over her bandaged hand and combing her hair, Agnes kept looking toward the door.
As though Lionel were not in the room at all.
Without turning her head until the very end, Agnes finished preparing herself and quietly left the room.
*Rattle.*
Only after the sound of the wheelchair’s wheels faded into the distance did Lionel collapse onto the bed like a puppet with its strings cut.
His long fingers frantically tore off his cravat, and as he clutched at the front of his shirt, the blockage in his throat finally gave way.
“Gasp!”
Like someone who had only just begun breathing again, Lionel clung to the bed sheet and expelled his breath.
As though coughing.
“Cough—, Haa… Hng.”
“Your Grace! What is happening? Are you all right?!”
Startled, Simon hurried over and tried to support Lionel.
Pushing his hand away, Lionel pressed his forehead against the bed sheet that still retained Agnes’s warmth.
His shoulders, held rigidly straight, trembled violently, making his agony painfully obvious.
As he forced his throat open with one cough after another, he gradually felt the tightness deep inside his throat begin to loosen.
“A doctor,”
Lionel gritted his teeth and forced the words out.
“Bring… a doctor.”
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Agnes did not look well as she headed toward the drawing room either.
She had not agreed to meet Leuceviten for any grand reason.
Rather, it was because watching Lionel carefully gauge her every reaction as though he were a criminal had become unbearable.
She would have preferred it if he had treated her with the same cold and emotionless attitude as before.
Besides, simply looking quietly at Lionel’s face now naturally brought the military uniform to mind, making her want to get away from him as quickly as possible.
That was why she had fled the bedroom as though escaping.
Yet the image Lionel had shown her a little while ago would not leave her mind.
The expression that could not continue speaking.
The cravat fastened almost excessively neatly.
And even the way he could not properly meet her eyes.
The scene kept returning to her mind like a splinter lodged beneath her fingernail.
Moreover, the fact that a large portion of her memory had been cut away still weighed heavily on her mind.
Lionel had brushed it off as being his fault, but she was certain that could not possibly be the whole story.
After hesitating for a moment, Agnes finally spoke.
The maid who had helped her during lunch happened to be pushing her wheelchair.
“My memory after lunch isn’t complete. Could you tell me what happened?”
At the question, the maid widened her eyes in surprise.
“You don’t remember?”
“No. That’s why I don’t even know why my hand ended up like this.”
“Your hand… I believe you must have cut it on the broken bathroom mirror.”
At those words, Agnes looked down at her lace glove.
Come to think of it, Lionel had also been wearing a glove on his right hand.
Could it have been for the same reason?
“Could you… tell me more?”
“Well… we don’t really know the details either. In the middle of lunch, you suddenly went into the bathroom and didn’t come out for quite a while…”
The maid slowly continued her explanation.
She began by saying that when the bathroom door finally opened, Agnes had looked like someone who had been terribly frightened by something.
Then she explained that because Lionel had shielded Agnes, no one had been able to see exactly what had happened.
“From inside, we also heard raised voices for a moment. It sounded as though Lady Agnes was shouting something at His Grace.”
The maid added that after the brief commotion, the bathroom had fallen silent again.
“After that, we heard His Grace shouting for a moment as well… Th-That’s everything I know. I’m sorry I couldn’t be of more help, Lady Agnes.”
The maid could not bring herself to tell the truth about Lionel’s cry, which had been closer to a scream of despair.
It was because Simon had specifically ordered everyone to keep silent about that part.
If word got out that the Duke of Valheim had completely lost control of himself, it would do the family no good.
Even so, those fragmented facts alone were enough to drain the color from Agnes’s face.
‘He had another episode.’
Agnes desperately tried to dig through the memories that refused to surface.
‘Could I have been the one who broke the mirror?’
It was the first time she had lost her memory since her trauma had resurfaced.
‘Could it be… that I said something strange?’
For example, something about the carriage accident.
Otherwise, there was no explanation for the unstable state Lionel had shown in the bedroom.
But if Lionel had realized everything, why had he said nothing?
It was only an uncertain suspicion.
Yet her anxiety continued to grow like a snowball.
“Lady Agnes, are you all right? If you’re still unwell, shall I ask the guests to leave?”
At the maid’s cautious question, Agnes slowly closed her eyes before opening them again.
Before she realized it, they had already arrived in front of the drawing room.
“I… I’m fine.”
Far from fine, her mind was in complete turmoil.
But she did not have the courage to return to the bedroom and face Lionel again.
Moreover, she decided that it would be better to meet Leuceviten while she had the chance.
Previously, because Lionel had persistently demanded an answer, she had replied that she would think it over.
However, Agnes had no intention of stepping onto the stage.
So she thought it would be better to decline in person.
As she entered the drawing room, a head of fluffy brown hair caught her eye.
“It’s been a long time, Your Grace.”
The one who greeted Agnes was Kain, who was standing beside Leuceviten.
He rose from his chair and smiled politely.
Soon after, Leuceviten also slowly inclined her head toward the direction where she sensed Agnes’s presence.
“It is a pleasure to see you, Your Grace. I heard you recently went through an unfortunate incident. I hope your health has improved.”
Realizing that Leuceviten was referring to the kidnapping, Agnes answered as though reading from a prepared script.
“Yes. Thank you for your concern.”
The first to notice the exhaustion hidden beneath Agnes’s formal reply was Leuceviten.
Kain also seemed to notice how dry and worn Agnes’s face looked, lowering the corners of his eyes slightly.
Neither of them, however, chose to mention it aloud.
After a brief silence, Leuceviten spoke again.
“This old woman has been rather thoughtless, coming at such a late hour. I do hope I haven’t caused Your Grace any inconvenience.”
As she spoke, Leuceviten gently patted the back of Kain’s hand beside her.
“My grandson told you, through His Grace, about the new theater and dance company I intend to establish. I wished to explain the plan to you personally, so I came myself.”
Agnes was about to reply that there was no need for that.
However, Leuceviten’s lips parted just a little faster than Agnes could refuse.
“I intend to build the new theater somewhere other than the capital. It will be quite far from here.”
Leuceviten’s gaze turned toward Agnes.
Though she could not see, her eyes felt as warm as though they were gently caressing Agnes.
“Would you consider coming there with me?”
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