Ch 5.2
It was expected.
Since I knew what he wanted to say to me, I had no desire to hear it.
“I believe our conversation ended back then.”
“It has not ended for me.”
It was like talking to a brick wall.
I did not hide my look of disgust as I turned to look at him and stopped walking.
“No matter what the Duke says, I will not change. Are you going to keep acting like this? You must know well how wearying
this kind of behavior makes a person.”
“……So, shouldn’t the Lady cut me some slack as well?”
“Pardon?”
What on earth is that supposed to mean?
Why should I cut you any slack?
“You cannot say you don’t remember the words and actions you directed at me. As you know, I endured many things during those times. So, shouldn’t the Lady also give me a chance?”
Ha, what a spectacle.
Does he mean to say he endured the ten-plus years Belita spent loving him?
And so, he’s asking me to endure the same?
“You realize you are being incredibly unreasonable right now, don’t you?”
“I know. But I am doing this because I feel it is the only way to even have a chance.”
Kane Maxius was a thoroughly rational and calculating human being.
Therefore, he must know that his words and actions were outside the bounds of common sense.
“Just what is the reason for this? Do you truly believe that acting this way will make me return to you, Duke?”
I felt so frustrated.
I kept saying no, over and over, but the person before me wasn’t even listening.
So even though I tried my best to avoid him, it was maddening that he used schemes just to meet me.
I hadn’t been curious about the reason why Kane was acting this way, but I felt like I was going to lose my mind, so I thought I should finally hear it.
“You are finally looking at me properly.”
“Ha.”
I was so dumbfounded for a moment that I burst into a hollow laugh.
He truly is a person who interprets everything his own way.
“I happened to see the letter the Lady left for me.”
A letter?
What letter is he talking about?
“A letter?”
“Yes. It was tucked between the pages of a book in the study.”
I had no memory of writing such a letter.
I quickly searched through Belita’s memories.
A letter…….
A letter, indeed…….
Please, remember.
However, even though I traced back to quite old memories, the memory of writing a letter did not easily surface.
Then, as I dug through even younger memories, a hazy memory from when I was twelve suddenly came to mind.
In the memory, a pretty twelve-year-old girl with shimmering blonde hair was sitting on a bench in a garden.
‘Where is this?’
At that moment, a boy who looked very much like the current Kane was walking across the garden.
The boy had cold, hollow eyes. Though he was naturally calm and quiet, he didn’t used to have eyes like that.
After the Ducal couple died in an unfortunate accident, the boy changed, and the girl stayed by his side every single day without fail.
Even though the boy saw the girl, he did
not even pretend to notice her.
But the girl was happy.
Even though the boy ignored her, she was grateful to be able to see him every day.
Then, she felt the desire to preserve this feeling exactly as it was.
It was certainly a girlish sentiment.
The girl went straight into the mansion.
She went up to the second floor and entered a certain room.
It was a space filled with bookshelves packed with books.
No one was there.
It was natural.
The owner of the mansion, the only one allowed to enter here, had just left the mansion.
The girl found paper and dipped a quill in ink.
And she began to write her emotions exactly as they were, without any filter.
It was the first letter Belita had ever left for Kane.
[To Lord Kane—no, to the Duke.
Duke, it’s me, Belita.
My heart hurts so much lately because your eyes look so sad.
I will protect you, Duke, so please don’t be
too sad.
If you have a bad dream, I will go into the dream and defeat all the bad people who bully you.
Because Belita will protect the Duke forever.
My mother and father said so.
They said because I am your fiancée, I will become the Duchess when I grow up.
So I won’t leave you, and I will be with you forever.
Duke, I love you.]
The girl wrote a short letter, pressing down hard with her pen to fill it with her sincere heart.
Then she pulled a book from the study, opened it, and hid the letter between the pages.
It was a little game she played, hoping the boy would find it later.
At that time, the girl believed that if she stayed by his side, the boy would look at her someday.
She believed she would love the boy until she died.
‘I really did write a letter.’
It was such an old memory that I hadn’t even thought of it.
“Do you remember?”
Perhaps noticing that I had recalled something, Kane was looking at me and smiling with an “I knew it” expression.
“Yes, I remember.”
“I found out after reading that letter a year ago. Just how great the feelings the Lady held for me were.”
A year ago would roughly coincide with the time Kane and Adela broke up.
So, are you saying the reason those two broke up was ultimately because of me—no, because of Belita?
Just because of that letter?
It was staggering.
This situation, where the original story was twisted because of a setting that never appeared in the original work, was beyond absurd.
“I was twelve years old.”
But nothing changed.
The letter that Kane saw and was moved by was written by Belita to Kane.
“It was a letter written by a twelve-year-old child who knew nothing.”
“That is true. That letter is one written by a
twelve-year-old girl.”
“Then you must know well that the letter holds no meaning.”
“That is not so. It is by no means meaningless.”
“No. It is a letter with no meaning. It is even more useless if you didn’t discover it back then, Duke.”
“Do not say that. It is a precious letter the Lady left for me.”
‘Ha, really.’
Seeing him look at me with hurt eyes at my remark that it was useless, a scoff escaped me.
“What I want to speak of is what happened after that. The Lady kept the promise exactly as written in the letter. You stayed by my side for a very long time.”
“But I am no longer by your side, Duke. And the one who ended that was you.”
“……That is correct. I was foolish. Only then did I realize that keeping one’s heart for someone unchangingly is a tremendous thing. And through that letter, I realized who was the most precious person to me. So, give me one more chance—.”
“You’ve said everything you had to say, right? Then, I shall be going.”
There was no need to listen to Kane’s
words any longer.
It was obvious he would just repeat the same things he said last time, adding today’s talk about the letter.
So, as I tried to turn away after cutting him off coldly, Kane grabbed my wrist just as he had at the banquet.
“Lady!”
“I told you not to touch me!”
I wrenched my wrist away violently, as if I had touched filthy filth.
“Didn’t I warn you not to lay a hand on me so recklessly? I told you not to touch me!”
Last time, too, I had intentionally
overreacted to him touching me.
I still remembered those horribly cold and chillingly freezing eyes that looked at me while I was slumped over on the day the engagement was broken.
Of course, it wasn’t that his attitude was heartbreaking or sorrowful.
Everything was intentional on my part, and because his attitude was like that, I was able to have the engagement broken more easily.
However, at that time, he literally treated me like trash.
No, he looked at me as if he were seeing something filthier than trash.
If he had thought of me as at least a human being, rather than something that needed to be cleared away immediately, he wouldn’t have just stared while I was collapsed on the floor like that.
But for him to try and touch me now, saying his heart has changed, was too contemptible.
So I wanted to do the same to him.
“I am sorry.”
However, perhaps having grown accustomed to it through one experience, he did not seem flustered at all.
And there was no trace of actual apology in his apologetic face.
‘Shameless. So shameless.’
“But I must say this. I will never give up on the Lady. Just as the Lady was toward me in the past, I too am prepared. I will use whatever means necessary to ensure the Lady returns to my side.”
It was a line I had heard many times before.
It was exactly what Belita used to say to Kane.
• Duke, I love you.
• Look only at me! Don’t look at other women, look only at me!
• I can wait until you look at me, Duke. Whether it’s 10 years, 20 years, or 50 years.
• Duke, I heard the words of God. He said we would be together forever.
• I cannot give up on you, Duke. We are destined to be together.
• Duke, what is it about me that you don’t like? I’ll fix it. I’ll become a lady worthy of you no matter what. So please, look at me just once.
• I could die today if you would look at me just once, Duke.
• Should I just die? Will you look at me only if I die?
• I will be with you forever by any means necessary, even if it means turning the whole world into an enemy.
• Duke, Duke, Duke.
Countless words Belita had said filled my head.
‘Is he saying he will return exactly what he received?’
In a way, it wasn’t a suitable thing to say in this situation, yet it was also very fitting.
My head throbbed as if a headache were coming on.
It felt as if my brain were overloaded from recalling too many memories and thinking too many thoughts.
It was the moment I was about to close my eyes and organize my thoughts for a second.
Suddenly, a voice I hadn’t heard in a long time called me from behind.
“Belita?”
