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"It's okay," she nodded, as if comforting herself. "I brought a lot of pills."

"Always had a thing for dying together?" I asked.

"How to put it: the thought of death came when I was very young. But I always felt I couldn't do that thing alone."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I can do lots of things alone: eat alone, live alone, travel alone... but just can't die alone.

It always feels like that should be something two people do together. Coming into this world alone is to find another person, and leave with him. Only like that does it feel complete."

"Now you've found him?" I said.

No answer. She picked up the beer at hand and took big gulps.

"Tell me about you." After a while, she said.

"Hm?"

"How did you think of doing this?"

"Right after graduating university, I wanted to, but every day was so…

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Love’s Ambition

Love’s Ambition

大乔小乔
Score 9.0
Status: Ongoing Type: Author: Released: 2017 Native Language: Chinese
  Qiao Lin was the elder sister, born within wedlock — the legitimate child. Xu Yan, on the other hand, was the younger one — a child of accident and defiance. Xu Yan’s unexpected arrival once filled Qiao Lin with delight, yet it brought ruin upon their parents. Their father lost his job because of her birth, their mother was branded with shame, and Xu Yan herself became a child without a home — sent away to be raised by her grandmother. Their parents spent nearly their entire lives appealing to the authorities for the injustice of their punishment for “having one child too many.” Years passed, petitions were filed again and again, but nothing ever came of it. In the end, they became a laughingstock in their town — a tragic joke people whispered about in the marketplace. Through it all, Qiao Lin loved her younger sister with a sincere and boundless heart. She defended her at every turn, protected her from every slight, as though her own warmth could shield Xu Yan from the coldness of the world. But deep within Xu Yan’s heart, a darker seed had taken root. Beneath her gratitude and dependence lay an unspoken yearning — an envy that gnawed at her quietly, a longing to be her sister, to live the life that was never hers to have. Until the day everything shattered. Qiao Lin, disgraced because of her parents’ tarnished reputation, was rejected by her fiancé. Alone and heartbroken, she gave birth to her daughter out of wedlock — a final act of quiet defiance against the judgment of others. And then, with the weight of the world pressing upon her, she walked into the lake and never came back. Only then did Xu Yan begin to truly face herself — her guilt, her desires, and the meaning of love and responsibility she had spent her life misunderstanding.

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